The Reptilian Agenda (2004)

A British African documentary by David Icke and Credo Mutwa.
David Icke interviews Zulu Shaman, Credo Mutwa about reptilians or "The Chitahuri".
This is an awesome film and Credo has stories about as wild as those of Bill Schnoebelen. If that's what you're looking for, this is it. However, the editing is some of the worst I have ever seen. There are stories that are cut short as Credo is in the middle of a sentence, some are picked up in the middle of him talking and there is a few minute section that repeats. Mr. Mutwa also speaks very slowly and says "um" and it's affiliates many times, as English is not his primary language. Some extreme subject matter is covered including monopods, eating the flesh of a god, necrophagia, paedophilia and some political statements that not everyone would agree with. There is also a section in which Credo tells a detailed story from his local folklore about the intertwined histories of the human and reptilian races. If you can stay with it through the editing and umming, there is good material here. I rate it best.

The Women (1939)

An American drama directed by George Cukor, starring Joan Crawford.
A woman in New York has friends at a clothing store and a husband. She learns from her friends that her husband is cheating on her. She gets a divorce and moves to a lesbian farm in Reno for a little while. When she moves back to New York, she hears juicy gossip about the homewrecker who married her husband.
This was pretty boring, except for the ending. Using an entirely female cast with a plot that involves marriage and affairs was a unique idea. The line that describes the film best is spoken at 2 hours and 12 minutes: "There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society...  ...outside of a kennel". I was watching the whole time thinking that this should have been called The Bitches and here comes a character in the film to put my thought into the perfect words. The women stab backs and gossip through 2 hours in black and white video. In the middle, there is a color scene of an interminable fashion show. My biggest disappointment about this film was no female anatomy points! Overall, you're better off just reading the line of dialogue and skipping the movie. I rate it poor.

The Stork Club (1945)

An American comedy drama directed by Hal Walker.
A rich man is saved from drowning by a young woman. The rich man tries to repay the woman by giving her unlimited credit at stores and a nice apartment, but she abuses the privileges. When her boyfriend returns, he finds her rich and hanging out with the old man.
This was alright at best. I didn't find the humor very funny, but the plot and characters were adequate. The treble biased audio did not compliment the woman's singing voice and the music was very old fashioned. It may have been unintentional, but the old man seemed to constantly be staring at the young woman's breasts. However, no female anatomy points were earned. The editing was good and helped continuity. Overall, not bad, but not good. I rate it o.k.

Freedom or Fascism: The Time to Choose (2006)

A British documentary by David Icke.
David gives his speech at Brixton.
This was pretty much a copy of Secrets of the Matrix (2003). David covered all of the same material in the same way. Please refer to my post about that film. I rate this o.k. because it's just a repeat.

The Road to Hollywood (1947)

An American romantic musical comedy directed by Bud Pollard, Del Lord, Leslie Pearce and Mack Sennett, starring Bing Crosby.
Bing Crosby's career is shown by way of sections of films that he has been in.
This was utterly horrible. The audio was uneven, muffled and treble-biased. The video was unevenly too dark or too bright, but never correctly exposed. Plot and characters were not a priority besides Bing himself. The only positive thing about this was the 53 minute duration. I rate it bad and would strongly advise against viewing.

The Inspector General (1949)

An American musical comedy directed by Henry Koster, starring Danny Kaye and Walter Slezak.
An illiterate man from a gang of gypsies incites a riot when he tells an old woman the truth about the magical elixir that they are peddling. The gypsy boss chases him away when he is accidentally carrying an important document. He is arrested in a small town where the local officials think that he is the inspector general in disguise and set him free. His former boss reunites with him as he is about to leave and he is forced to play the role of inspector general.
The plot and characters were interesting, but the music was not. Most of the humor was sitcom style lies, but there was some funny physical humor like throwing wine in a fireplace to create giant explosions. Some of the scenes were physically demanding and involved lots of planning like the military training room. The main characters were easy to keep track of, but there were excessive extras. The video was a little dark and muddy and the audio was pretty standard. I rate this o.k.

Beyond the Cutting Edge (2008)

A British documentary by David Icke.
David gives his full speech at Brixton. He focuses on the nature of reality, thinking outside the box and waking up to the illusion so that one can realize one's true potential.
Very positive talk. I always like to talk about Mr. Icke when people ask me about the whole NWO Illuminati truth deal because his message is so positive. We CAN be better than we are and we CAN break out of the small, separate world views that we have been programmed into. The world we live in is supposed to be a wonderful place to have a profound experience of being a person in, not some bloody cesspool of manipulation, war, death, lies, struggle and stupidity. Anyway, this talk featured many Matrix (1999) references, some Credo Mutwa wisdom and the story of a woman who was conscious through a major health problem. Good job, Dave. If I hadn't seen so sodding many of your talks so sodding many times, it would get a better rating. I'll go with awesome. Definitely recommended, even if you've seen enough Dave already.

Origins & Symbolism of the European Union (2009)

A British documentary by David Icke.
In an interview with Red Ice Radio, David explains his view of the European Union and how it fits into a one world government.
This is a little bit short for a David Icke talk. On the education vs. entertainment scale, this is far to the side of education. There were no fancy videos, just Dave I. being interviewed in a room. At one point, they did display a picture, but that was it. My favorite part was Dave saying that he wouldn't trust Tony Blair to tell him the time in a room full of clocks. Overall, it was short and had good information, but nothing too different from David's other works. This would be a good intro to Icke's filmography for those who don't want to commit to a multi-hour presentation right away. I rate it adequate and would compare it to Michael Tsarion's Architects of Control.

The Illuminati parts 1-4

A British documentary by Chris Everard.
Topics surrounding the belief systems of the global elite are discussed with pictoral and video examples.
When I watch documentaries, I tend to weigh education vs. entertainment. This one is entertainment and doesn't do a very good job of that. It was heavy on speculation and repetition like it was made by the discovery channel. There was a repeating whispered voice that must have been played about 100-1000 times over the four part set and the narrator repeated the name of what/who he was talking about ad nauseum. By the definition given in this series of a spell containing repeated words, this video itself IS a spell. There was some information, but not much detail. I rate this poor and would not recommend it.

Architects of Control: Mass Control & Future of Mankind

An Irish documentary by Michael Tsarion and Henrik Palmgren.
Mike T. asks whether people are in control of themselves and examines what forces in the world determine the answer to this question.
As with David Icke and Alex Jones, this is very similar to the rest of Michael Tsarion's work. It does not hold a candle to Origins & Oracles and seems pitiful by comparison. There is some good information and I think that it was well made. Henrik did a good job with the video editing and music. There was one line in section 2 that really interested me about cutting down trees and naming streets after them. Overall, It's alright, but Mike has made better. I rate it adequate and would only recommend it if you don't have the patience to watch Tsarion's longer films.

Man with a Movie Camera (1929)

A Russian documentary art film by Dziga Vertov.
Scenes from a busy city or town are shown with no explanation.
This is one of those wonderful films that I can't write enough good stuff about. Unintentionally being the first piece of psychedelic cinema, the filmmaker used every effect available. These effects ranged from playing with the speed of the film to multiple exposures and screen splitting. I can appreciate much of what is being done because of some experience with videos and a recent course in photography. The original film was released without sound and supposed to be accompanied by a live musical performance. The version that I saw had a soundtrack by Michael Nyman recorded in 2002. I liked this soundtrack, but I may watch the film again with one of the other 19 soundtracks. Some memorable scenes include the shadow of a doorway with people walking through, athletes doing high jumps, a magic show, stop motion of the camera getting onto the tripod and a scene of women putting a dark substance on themselves (picture, female anatomy points). I rate this best and would recommend it to anyone who has an interest in photography and video.

Secrets of the Matrix (2003)

A British documentary by David Icke.
David Icke's talk at Brixton is shown. He covers subjects such as the nature of reality, fear vs love, the September 11th events and subliminal messages.
If you've seen one David Icke lecture, you've seen them all. He has points and phrases that he mentions in all of his talks, but around these building blocks, there is some different material. His September 11th section was almost a comedy, as he pointed out that the "official story" is an absurd work of fiction. The 6 hour duration seems like it would be long, but this was easier to watch than The Birth of a Nation (1915) which had half the duration. Overall, good information was presented, but much of it was a repeat from other lectures. I rate this good and would recommend it if the subject matter is something that you are interested in.

The Birth of a Nation (1915)

An American silent historical drama film by D. W. Griffith.
Events in America around the time of the civil war are shown with stories of characters who were involved. Slavery, President Lincoln and his assassination, the civil war itself and the Ku Klux Klan are the main points.
This was SOOOO boring. Can you sit through 3 hours of a silent film this old? The audio was all classical music and seemed to be on the repetitive side. The video was in black and white with scenes being tinted. However, all of the video was correctly exposed! This brings up an issue about newer films: If they could correctly expose video in 1915, why do so many films afterwards suffer from incorrect exposure? The characters were difficult to keep track of because the length of the film required that I take frequent breaks to get away from it. Same with plot. Overall, it is of historic significance and was correctly exposed. It was also too long and extremely boring. I rate it poor. Unless you are burning with an itching desire to view every film ever made, I would not recommend watching this one.

The Death Kiss (1932)

An American comedic mystery directed by Edwin L. Marin, starring Bela Lugosi, David Manners and Adrienne Ames.
An actor is killed on the set of a film. While the police are trying to solve the murder case, a man who works at the film studio teams up with a studio security guard to solve the case as well.
I've come to dislike Bela Lugosi, as most of the films containing him suck pretty bad. This one had some sloppy editing, but was otherwise technically sound. The characters were easy to identify and keep track of, the plot was clearly presented and the pacing kept things moving. There were also a few creative camera angles. It wasn't painful to watch, but with sloppy editing like that, I have to take points off. I rate it poor and would probably not recommend it.

The Bashful Bachelor (1942)

An American comedy directed by Malcolm St. Clair, starring Zasu Pitts.
Lum is mad at his partner at the general store, Abner for trading the delivery car for a horse. Lum also is planning to impress the woman who reads to him by being a hero, like in the story that is read. Lum and Abner get into various situations because of Abner's trading and Lum's quest to be a hero.
It was alright at best and very similar to So This Is Washington (1943). There were some funny scenes about the glasses that the travelling eye doctor was getting all of the characters to purchase that involved visual distortions visible to the viewer (picture). There wasn't any sloppy editing, so it was technically sound. I don't really feel the need to write too much about this because it is so similar to the other Lum and Abner film that I reviewed. I rate it o.k. and would recommend it if you like the series.

The Amazing Quest of Ernest Bliss A.K.A. The Amazing Adventure A.K.A. Romance and Riches (1936)

An American romance directed and produced by Alfred Zeisler, starring Cary Grant and Mary Brian.
A rich man feels unwell and goes to see his doctor. The doctor determines that boredom and luxury are his problem and they make a bet that the rich man can't live a year as a regular working guy without using his money or friends. During the year, he meets a woman and they fall in love.
A unique premise, but just a regular movie. Everything about this film was average and mediocre. I don't have to list all of the film elements here. Fortunately for the movie, I don't frown on mediocrity quite so much anymore. I've seen so many really bad films that an o.k. one really is o.k. It was not painful to watch and I viewed the entire hour and a minute duration. I rate it o.k. and would recommend it if you just want to watch something.

The 39 Steps (1935)

A British thriller directed by Alfred Hitchcock.
A man tries to help a counter-espionage agent prevent a group of spies from stealing information. The agent is killed and the man tries to stop the spies.
I couldn't understand the plot and looked it up on Wikipedia. The audio was muffled and almost incoherent. The video looked like total crap. Hence, the production value was quite low. Same for plot and characters. I gave up and turned it off after about 40 minutes. I rate it shit. DO NOT WATCH!

The Adventures of Prince Achmed (1926)

A German silent fantasy animation by Lotte Reiniger and Carl Koch.
An African sorcerer makes a magic flying horse and tries to trade it for a princess. The prince (Achmed) takes off on the horse and falls in love with a woman in a far away land. The sorcerer steals the woman from the prince who befriends another of the sorcerer's enemies, a fire witch. The witch gives the prince weapons and sends him to regain the princess. When spirits from her homeland steal this princess, Aladdin's magic lamp is required to enter their realm. Aladdin and Achmed get the witch to kill the sorcerer in order to retreive the lamp, defeat the spirits and save both princesses.
Wonderful! Fantastic! Beautiful! This is the oldest surviving animated film and it beats the living shit out of whatever is newest. At the time of writing, there's a whole slew of computer animated brainwashing flicks. Just like hospitals destroy health and schools destroy knowledge, the entertainment industry destroys art. As I watched this, I was awe-struck by hand painted backgrounds with silouette characters painstakingly animated onto them. These guys had to arrange each frame and photograph it with absolutely prehistoric cameras. Creative character design yeilded unique and memorable characters with lifelike movements out of just cut paper. The backgrounds and scenery were created very similarly and made unique and memorable locations and settings. The monsters were AMAZING! From the sorcerer/evil kangaroo at the beginning to what I would call the "Omega Caterwocky" (not pictured. I don't want to spoil the coolest monster!) at the end, all the beasts were fantastic, diverse and wild. There was even a wizards' duel a la Sword in the Stone (1963). The complex plot was obviously based on 1001 Arabian Nights, one of the best books ever written. I rate this best and it is HIGHLY recommended for those who can dig real art. WATCH IT!

The Ghost of Slumber Mountain (1918)

An American silent stop motion animated fantasy by Willis O'Brien.
A man tells a pair of boys a story about his adventure on Slumber Mountain. While there, he had a dream about opening an abandoned cabin to retreive a device through which he viewed dinosaurs.
Pretty cool film with lame presentation. I'm not talking about the pre-talky or b&w aspects, but how the story is told. Making it a story about a dream is boring. If you're going to stop motion animate dinosaurs, why not have it presented as actually happening? It's just a fantasy film, not a documentary! So there goes the plot. The style is awesome and I think that the animation was done very well. There were some times when I did not know what I should be looking at on the screen, but these were short, uneventful sections at the beginning of an animated scene. The music was very dated and it was entertaining to hear classical/jazz music trying to cope with dinosaur fights. There being no heavy metal genre in 1918, they did the best they could. Although it has some problems, I really liked this film. 19 minutes with stop motion animated dinosaurs is hard to beat. I rate it awesome and would recommend it to those interested in the history of animation.

That's My Baby! (1944)

An American musical comedy directed by William Berke.
The owner of a comic and cartoon company has not smiled or laughed in 20 years and wants his daughter to marry a man who she does not love. The daughter and her real boyfriend hire a special psychologist to help the father. When this does not work, they dig into the family's past for an answer.
This was actually pretty good. The plot was decent, but did not completely fill the duration of just an hour and 7 minutes. The filler is what made the film in this case. This consisted of comedic and musical acts that I imagine must have been popular at the time the film was created. Although dated by today's standards, I think that these acts have stood the test of time quite well. Some highlights include a man who dresses a model using only strips of cloth, a trumpet player with a hand puppet and a very good piano player. The video was of the time, but did not have the sloppy editing that I have gotten used to. The audio was a little thin, but the music came through alright. I'm rating this good because I liked it. You may want to check it out if you can dig the vintage comedy.

Texas, Brooklyn and Heaven (1948)

An American romance directed by William Castle, starring Guy Madison, Diana Lynn and James Dunn.
A man orders a drink at a bar and the bartender tells him a story. A newspaper writer's grandfather dies and leaves him money so he heads for New York to write a play. On the way, he picks up a young woman who is a compulsive liar. The woman lies him into being her brother and also a bank robber. Another lie gets them a mother who is a pickpocket. When the bartender shows up at the hotel where the writer is staying they go to a shop with fake things to ride.
The main theme of this film was deception. I thought it was alright. The style was of the time and there were a few editing/continuity mistakes. These were mainly sloppy video editing with characters moving. The video was otherwise adequate and the audio wasn't too bad. I liked the complex plot that filled the entire duration correctly without using lots of pointless filler. The characters were good and unique. Overall, it's a decent old movie to watch. I rate it adequate. You may want to check this out.

Swing High, Swing Low (1937)

An American romance directed by Mitchell Leisen, starring Carole Lombard and Fred MacMurray.
A soldier and a hair stylist meet in Panama, quit their jobs and fall in love. The soldier gets a new job playing trumpet at a bar and when an opportunity to advance his career in New York comes along, he goes alone. Initially a success, he develops an alcohol addiction and the hair stylist thinks that he is cheating on her. Can they save their relationship and his career?
This was alright for an old movie. The production quality was shit by the time it got to me. There was some pretty heavy dead air noise and video artifacts. The plot was interesting, although alcohol addiction films never really were my cup of tea. The characters were stereotypical and showed little depth. The duration was a little too long for me and the style was of the time. I rate it o.k. because I liked the first half, but the second half sucked.

The Great Train Robbery (1903)

An American western by Edwin S. Porter.
Bandits force an operator of a railway station to stop a train so they can rob it. They tie him up, but he gets free while they are looting the locomotive and goes for help.
Apparently, this is the first western film ever made. I had to watch and review it for historical significance. It was silent with black and white video, but I've seen much worse. It was actually just right for 10 minutes of western. There were harriers, a train, a chase on horseback and an unlikely hero. I think that they communicated what they needed to get across quite well for 1903. I'm rating this adequate because there was some thought put into making it.

A Successful Failure (1934)

An American comedy drama directed by Arthur Lubin.
An old newspaper worker loses his job and a co-worker friend quits because of this. They decide to work together and end up doing a radio show. The older man's family micro-manages his life and the daughter is dating a man.
Boring. This was just way too boring and slow paced for me. The antique style, audio and video didn't help either. There were video artifacts where the actual film itself had been damaged. The plot was pretty vague in some areas and generally threadbare all around. The characters were annoying and shallow. At least it wasn't painful to watch. I rate it poor and would advise against viewing.

Speak Easily (1932)

An American comedy directed by Edward Sedgwick, starring Buster Keaton and Jimmy Durante.
A dorky professor thinks that he has inherited a vast sum of money and leaves his office for New York. On the way, he befriends and gains ownership of a theater group.
I could tell from the first few seconds that this would be terrible. I turned it off at 38:16 because the humor was the least funny I have ever seen and Jimmy Durante is annoying. Most of the "jokes" had to do with a disagreement between characters because of a misunderstanding. Physical "comedy" like putting an item on a luggage rack, only to have it fall on the person who put it there was also used. I rate this shit. DO NOT WATCH!

Interview With An Ex-Vampire (2006)

An American documentary directed and produced by Michael Relfe, interviewed by Stephanie Relfe B.Sc., story by William Schnoebelen.
Bill Schnoebelen - current born again Christian and anti-Masonic speaker, former occult leader - tells the eventful story of his life to an interviewer. He details his time in religious college, pagan/wiccan covens, satanic groups and masonic/illuminati pyramid scheme.
Is it real? That is the main question to be asked here and (as always) I think that not knowing is most fun. Given the details that Bill tells of initiations and ceremonial magick, he could have done lots of research and faked the whole thing or he could have actually done all of these things. A third possibility is that he THINKS he did all of these things and is totally insane. He sure seems sane to me on the video and the 9+ hour duration would have given him ample time to reveal mental instability. He just sits there like a psychedelic Santa Clause in a suit and tells his story with a good sense of humor. Some highlights include episodes that I have dubbed "Night Skies as a Child", "The Cathedral of Pain", "Cocaine and Blood" and "The Cruel Tutelage of Master M". I will let the lurid titles speak for themselves. Obviously, this dude has the wildest story that I've ever heard and obviously I like this video quite a bit. I have viewed it countless times and still notice parts that I did not notice/remember from before. I rate this best and would recommend it to those who are willing to watch the whole thing. Not for the squeemish or faint of heart.

So's Your Aunt Emma (1942)

An American crime comedy directed by Jean Yarbrough, starring ZaSu Pitts.
The ex-girlfriend of a boxing legend goes to see the dead boxer's son fighting. She meets a reporter on the way in who is in trouble with the newspaper editor because he keeps missing stories. When the gangsters at the boxing stadium and night club think that the woman is a mob boss, she plays the role to help the reporter and boxer.
The plot was actually interesting and some of the jokes were funny. The characters were identifiable, but far from memorable. The style was of the time, pacing about right and there weren't any technical problems. This is just another alrihgt movie to watch because there's nothing else to do. I rate it o.k.
This is how watching a bunch of old films should go: lots of o.k. with a good one or a bad one here and there. I was getting really tired of giving everything such bad ratings, but the films really did suck.

Son of the Navy (1940)

An American comedy drama directed by William Nigh, starring Jean Parker and James Dunn.
A sailor is walking along a road on his way to his ship and joins up with a boy who is hitchhiking. They are picked up by a woman and pretend to be father and son in order to get a ride. The boy turns out to have escaped from an orphanage and because he called the sailor his father, it gets the sailor in trouble. The sailor and the woman from the car argue over who will take care of the boy.
The plot was lame, but clearly presented. The characters stereotypical and shallow, but identifiable. Style was of the times. Pacing, continuity and editing were alright, but there were a few areas with technical problems. Overall, it was just to sappy for me, but an alright movie. I rate it o.k. Just another thing to watch because there's nothing else to do.

So This is Washington (1943)

An American comedy directed by Ray McCarey.
An old man who runs a general store in a rural area invents a new type of rubber. Together with his co-worker, they go to Washington D.C. to present the idea to a government official. When they arrive, they have trouble finding a place to spend the night, but soon meet someone who will take them where they need to go. When they are getting ready to present the idea, the inventor suffers amnesia from a blow to the head and can't remember anything.
It wasn't bad. The simple plot was communicated clearly and the characters were alright. The style was of the time in which it was made and the pacing kept things moving. Editing and continuity seemed fine. The audio had treble bias and dead air hiss combining to make that "nails on a chalk board" sound so often associated with old films. I'm rating it o.k. If you want something to watch, this will kill some time just fine.

Zeitgeist Addendum (2008)

An American documentary by Peter Joseph, starring Jaque Fresco.
The filmmaker explains monetary systems and their flaws. He features a guest speaker who also believes in resource based society.
This is a very good film and provides some viable answers to questions that plague humans. The basic idea is that because of the fictional value of paper, we're forced to work. It's extremely complex and the film explains it better than I ever could. It does communicate quite well. The video is appropriate for the subject matter and the audio is all good quality and audible. This film makes a very clear point about us as humans being able to do something good and we should. The filmmaker is one of my favorites and his ideas make sense to me. He wants good people to do good things and have that be the way the world works. Sounds pretty cool. I have no choice but to rate it best.

She Done Him Wrong (1933)

An American drama directed by Lowell Sherman, starring Mae West and Cary Grant.
A whore is at a bar and some stuff is going on. Seriously.
There was almost no plot to this film and what there was was very badly communicated. There were 2 good characters and the rest were extras. I'm typing of the whore and her black maid here. The style was standard '30s/'40s in black and white video with sub-par audio. Basically, I watched nothing for about an hour, but it did receive female anatomy points because Mae West is beautiful. I rate it poor.

Zeitgeist (2007)

An American documentary by Peter Joseph.
This film questions widely held beliefs of the world and shows some faults in them. It examines religion, 9:11 and the new world order.
This was one of the first films that I watched when I was "waking up". I was awakened by a co-worker around 2008, just after this film came out and in time to be excited when the addendum came out. Coming from a Satanic background, I was immeasurably entertained by the filmmaker's thoughts on religion. When they showed the guys who engineered the world trade center towers saying that the towers were built to withstand multiple airplane hits, I was sold. It is a very well made film with good audio recorded by the filmmaker and selected from other media. Some of the video is black screens and the text goes a little fast, but otherwise I like what is shown. There are news coverage videos, speakers at podiums, animations and stock footage for variety. This is definitely one of my favorite documentaries and I have watched it many times. I'm rating it best and would recommend it to anyone mature enough to understand what is being communicated.

Road Show (1941)

An American musical comedy directed and produced by Hal Roach, starring Carole Landis, John Hubbard, Patsy Kelly and Shemp Howard.
A millionaire who is about to be married fakes mental illness out of fear of marriage and hears his soon to be bride conspiring with her family on what to do with his money. They have him committed even though he is sane when he tells them he was faking and heard what they said. Together with the help of an older man with a wacky camera, he escapes the mental institution and ends up joining a circus/carnival. The millionaire falls in love with the woman running the circus.
This was actually good! The plot kept me interested, but the unique and memorable characters made it worth watching. Although stereotypical, the characters showed some depth and were developed to some degree. The older man with the camera and the woman who is mistaken for an Indian were my favorites. The style was very much '40s, but the humor was actually funny (very rare!). The audio and video quality were adequate to communicate what was going on and there were some special effects done with camera speed. Pacing was just fast enough to keep the plot moving, but not so quick as to deny enjoyment of individual scenes. Continuity and editing were both very good. I'm rating this good and would recommend it to anyone who can appreciate how well made it is.

Rhythm in the Clouds (1937)

An American comedy directed by John H. Auer.
A young woman who is being evicted from her apartment forges a letter that says she can live in the apartment of a famous composer while he is away. She then submits music and forges his name on it. The apartment is next door to the man who will be writing lyrics for the song and the 2 neighbors have noise battles through the walls.
The plot was stupid and I didn't like the characters. The dead air hiss and treble-biased audio combined to make a ringing/screeching sound at some points. There was a scene that teased the viewer with the promise of female nudity, only to deny what it promised. We see the starlet take off her shoes and drop clothing on the floor, then the camera begins to pan up her naked legs, only to have a long dress drop into view. AAARRGH!!! I rate yet another film bad. Do not watch.

Reaching For the Moon (1930)

An American romantic comedy directed by Edmund Goulding, starring Douglas Fairbanks.
A rich man goes on the same cruise as the woman who he is interested in. He is coached by his valet who makes a love potion for him which is sampled by too many people.
The plot was nearly non-existant and didn't make sense. The editing was extremely sloppy to the point of a character teleporting into a scene. We all know how I feel about harsh and treble-biased audio with lots of dead air hiss. There was one scene in which Fairbanks performed acrobatic stunts (pictured) and it was the only good part of the film. Technically a disaster, I have to rate this bad for being so poorly made.

Private Buckaroo (1942)

An American musical comedy directed by Edward F. Cline, starring The Andrews Sisters.
Entertainers from a club enlist in the army.
As much as I like music, I don't like musicals. Comedy is not my favorite genre either. I do, however, like The Andrews Sisters and old jazz. There were some good songs, but mostly bad and there were some entertaining jokes, but mostly bad. The editing was a little sloppy in some places, but the video was generally good. The treble-biased audio did not help the mostly bad music in this film and the antique style left much to be desired. The continuity seemed choppy to me as well. I rate it poor because it wasn't horrible. The only real reason to watch this is for The Andrews Sisters.

Honeymoon in Bali A.K.A. Husbands or Lovers A.K.A. My Love For Yours (1939)

An American romance directed by Edward H. Griffith, starring Fred MacMurray.
A woman who runs a department store has her future told by a fortune teller and it comes true.
Momma don't want no peas no rice no coconut oil. The child in the film shouts this phrase repeatedly and I found it to be most annoying. The hour and 40 minute duration was also annoyingly long. I don't like romance films and the early date of this one didn't help matters any. The harsh and treble-biased audio was also terrible. I rate this bad. Do not watch!

Earthlings (2005)

A documentary directed by Shaun Monson, narrated by Joaquin Phoenix.
The mistreatment, torture and killing of animals is examined and examples are shown. This is done in the light that we are all Earthlings that have basic needs and senses.
This is a film that would make even Pindar cry. For those who do not know, Pindar is the lord of the reptilians and the leader of the Illuminati. He is a transdimensional white dragon with a golden penis and the source of all evil. I watched the humans in the film cruelly drag animals around and tear apart their still living bodies. As I watched, I desired revenge upon the tormentors. I would like to see Earthlings 2: The Revenge, a future film in which humans are treated in the same manner in which they treated the animals. They would be shackled and chained, forced to live in small, overcrowded cages and have body parts removed to prevent them from hurting one another. They would be given terrible, deadly diseases "just to see what happens". They would have their skulls cut open and electrodes probed into their exposed brains. They would be fed toxic chemicals (as if that were not already happening!). When the time came for them to be slaughtered, they would be skinned alive and then have their throats cut and esophogus torn out. After being violently dumped onto a concrete floor covered in the blood and entrails of those who came before them, they would be hooked through one foot and hoisted into the air. Then they would be piled into a vat where boiling water drowned and cooked them to death. The most striking scene featured a fur production area in which an animal was skinned alive and was clearly alive after the process. Although this is one of the nastiest films I have ever viewed (second only to Nekromantik (1987)), I rate it best because of emotional and thought inducing content. I would recommend this film to everyone, even those who could not stomach the content and would vomit or cover their eyes. Everyone needs to know that animals feel pain and that using them for our benefit is wrong.

My Favorite Brunette (1947)

An American romantic comedy mystery directed by Elliott Nugent, starring Bob Hope, Dorothy Lamour, Lon Chaney Jr. and Bing Crosby.
A timid photographer has an office next to that of a private eye detective. The detective leaves on business and a woman thinks that the photographer is the detective when she meets him in the office. The woman drags the photographer into a complex plot involving dangerous men.
I had to turn it off at an hour and 8 minutes because I couldn't watch another 20 minutes of this stupidity. The style and production were a little older looking than the '47 date, but there weren't any real technical mistakes in the film. The editing was good and the pacing kept things moving. I just got really tired of plot twists, the web of intrigue and the stupid, timid photographer being fooled by everyone he meets. An hour and 27 minutes is exceedingly long for me to pay attention to an old film of a genre that I dislike. I have to rate it shit because I turned it off.

Faces of Death series (1978 - 1990)

An American horror documentary by John Alan Schwartz.
Real and fictional film footage of accidents, disasters and murders is shown and narrated, accompanied by a variety of music.
Which parts are real and which are staged? I think not knowing is more fun. I viewed the films without knowing that some of the scenes were staged and learning of this cheapened the experience. The video quality changes with every segment, but the audio is mostly good. It was all the same volume level, which is most important. Plot and characters are a non-issue for this style of film and with the compilation nature of the presentation, pacing ranges wildly as well. One of my most treasured childhood memories is of repeated visits to VHS rental stores and asking my parents to rent these films for me. 20 something years later, I was somewhat disappointed that the films were not gruesome or gory enough for me, although several segments did actually gross me out. I'm rating this best and would recommend it for anyone with extreme tastes. It wasn't as nasty as Nekromantik (1987) or Earthlings (2005), but far nastier than anything else I've seen.

My Dear Secretary (1948)

An American romantic comedy directed by Charles Martin, starring Kirk Douglas and Laraine Day.
A writer hires a secretary and they have a roller coaster relationship.
The plot and characters were clearly communicated, but seemed a little sitcomesque to me. The audio and video quality were not bad for '48 and the editing was smooth. This is a pretty simple film that needs a simple review. It's a decent watch for an old romantic comedy and much better than today's romantic comedies. The part at the end repeating a part from the beginning with different characters in different roles was actually really cool. I thought it was adequately made and it wasn't a chore to watch. I rate it adequate. Watch this if you just want something to watch.

Antipodes (2013)

A French Australian action documentary by Matthias Dandois, Sam Partaix, Luc Legrand and Max Charveron.
A team of French BMX riders and a skateboarder ply their trade in Australia.
This is an awesome film that was shot wonderfully and the tricks are amazing. Some highlights include BMX in a 90 degree pipe elbow and a half decade half tailwhip off a rail. The only negative comment I have is about the soundtrack. Repetitive indie rock is not my favorite music. The editing was really good because they showed the unsuccessful attempts at complex moves as well as successful execution. Good camera-work and good riding. I rate it awesome. Definitely recommended viewing.

Midnight Manhunt (1945)

An American crime film directed by William C. Thomas.
The body of a notorious criminal who is supposed to have been dead for 5 years is found recently killed. A reporter, wax museum staff and the police argue over where the corpse is.
This is probably the worst production value I have ever seen in a film. The editing was extremely sloppy, cutting off dialogue and making the video seem to jump. The audio quality was terrible and the video was full of artifacts. The blips and dots never end and at one point, I believe that there was a hair on the actual film itself or a place where it was torn and mended badly (picture). Is that something poking him in the eye or coming out of his nose? The plot was confusing and I was under the impression that there were more characters than there actually are. The whole mess just reeked of unprofessionalism. I rate it shit. DO NOT WATCH!

Li'l Abner (1940)

An American romantic comedy directed by Albert S. Rogell, starring Jeff York and Buster Keaton.
A young man feels sick from eating a strange sandwich and a barber tells him he only has 24 hours to live. Because he thinks that he will be dead soon, he gets engaged to a young woman who has been chasing him for years, captures a criminal and gets engaged to another woman in exchange for help escaping from the criminal's gang. The matter of who he will marry is settled at a Sadie Hawkins day race.
So stupid! The simple plot and shallow characters made for an uninteresting film. The early date and low production value ensured this. The idiotic humor really drove the whole thing home. What boggles my mind is a whole town of men being chased by women and not wanting to be caught, except for a pair of socially inept guys. An interesting note is that Li'l Abner's father's name is Lucifer. Also, the socially inept guys who are Abner's friends remind me of friends that I would have. One is a stereotypical Injun who can't make fire and the other is a hulking Muppet-style character whose nose is the only facial feature visible because of his long hair and beard. I rate this bad. Don't watch it.

Let's Go Collegiate (1941)

An American comedy directed by Jean Yarbrough, starring Mantan Moreland.
When the star rower on their boat team is drafted, college students grab a man off the street to impersonate the missing friend. They regret their decision.
Barely tolerable. The lame and predictable plot left much to be desired. The static and shallow characters did likewise. The style and production value were standard for 1941 and the pacing was as stock as it gets. Mantan Moreland was type-cast for comic relief and did his best, although he was not given much screen time. I watched it all the way through and it wasn't too bad. I rate it poor for being watchable, but nowhere near good. I would not advise viewing.

King of the Zombies (1941)

An American comedic horror directed by Jean Yarbrough.
An airplane carrying 3 men is lost and picks up a radio signal. They land the plane on an island where they find a mad scientist who employs a crew of zombies.
The plot was simple, yet effective and the characters were memorable. I was impressed with Mantan Moreland's character's dialogue. Moreland was a famous comedian in the '30s and '40s and I found his use of ebonics comical. The pacing was quick enough to hold most of my attention and the style and production value were pretty standard for the time, if not a cut above standard. I'm rating this adequate because I actually liked it. If you're looking for public domain comedic horror, this is a good one to watch.

Kid Dynamite (1943)

An American crime drama directed by Wallace Fox.
A rivalry between gang members is started by a misunderstanding and gets coumpounded by each sequential event.
Whatever. I shouldn't even watch The East Side Kids anymore. Every film is the same, with stupid Muggs going berserk over trifles and the rest of the gang catering to his every whim, except Danny. Danny is the good boy who doesn't fall in line with gangsters, but with society and government instead. All the characters, plots, styles... You get the picture. This is the last one of these I'm watching. I rate it poor because I watched the whole thing painlessly. Not Recommended.

Judge Priest (1934)

An American comedy drama directed by John Ford, starring Will Rogers.
Men are fighting over a woman and the judge set to preside over the case has too close a relationship with the people involved to do his job impartially.
The plot was one of the murkiest and most complex I've ever experienced. The characters all kind of blended together with their southern drawls. I feel that this film did not communicate clearly, as is the case with many films of this time period. The video was grainy, blurry and pixelated with harsh, treble-biased audio. I rate it bad. You probably shouldn't watch it.

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter (1965)

An American horror western directed by William Beaudine.
The daughter of professor Frankenstein moves her resurrection lab to the American southwest. There she meets Jesse James.
This was absolutely horrid! There really was no plot, just filler and the characters didn't make any difference. The style was very much like an old western. The audio and video were adequate, but that didn't help either. The whole thing is just so stupid and so pointless that I wanted to turn it off. I watched it until the end and I must say that it is one of the worst films ever made. My main gripe is that it was a terrible idea for a movie from the start. The pacing was painfully slow and there were continuity problems too. I rate it shit.

Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity (1999)

An American documentary directed by Sut Jhally, starring Jackson Katz.
The narrator examines the question of why violence is a decidedly male problem by examining how the media portrays men.
After the Final Fantasy anime with gender role reversals, I have been doing research into that subject. The information that has been turned up by this is vague, but prolific. When men are portrayed as men in media, they use strength to hurt others. This film agrees with that statement and, as most documentaries, gives little answer to the deeep questions of the matter being discussed. It was long on analysis, evaluation and appraisal, but short on answers and solutions. It was very well-made though. The audio and video from countless clips was all even and all of the video looked top quality. The narration was thoughtful and eloquent. I rate it adequate. You should watch this if you like documentaries and have unanswered questions about gender roles (which will remain unanswered at the end of the film).