Sunday, November 30, 2014

Interview With An Ex-Vampire (2006)

An American documentary directed and produced by Michael Relfe, interviewed by Stephanie Relfe B.Sc., story by William Schnoebelen.
Bill Schnoebelen - current born again Christian and anti-Masonic speaker, former occult leader - tells the eventful story of his life to an interviewer. He details his time in religious college, pagan/wiccan covens, satanic groups and masonic/illuminati pyramid scheme.
Is it real? That is the main question to be asked here and (as always) I think that not knowing is most fun. Given the details that Bill tells of initiations and ceremonial magick, he could have done lots of research and faked the whole thing or he could have actually done all of these things. A third possibility is that he THINKS he did all of these things and is totally insane. He sure seems sane to me on the video and the 9+ hour duration would have given him ample time to reveal mental instability. He just sits there like a psychedelic Santa Clause in a suit and tells his story with a good sense of humor. Some highlights include episodes that I have dubbed "Night Skies as a Child", "The Cathedral of Pain", "Cocaine and Blood" and "The Cruel Tutelage of Master M". I will let the lurid titles speak for themselves. Obviously, this dude has the wildest story that I've ever heard and obviously I like this video quite a bit. I have viewed it countless times and still notice parts that I did not notice/remember from before. I rate this best and would recommend it to those who are willing to watch the whole thing. Not for the squeemish or faint of heart.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

So's Your Aunt Emma (1942)

An American crime comedy directed by Jean Yarbrough, starring ZaSu Pitts.
The ex-girlfriend of a boxing legend goes to see the dead boxer's son fighting. She meets a reporter on the way in who is in trouble with the newspaper editor because he keeps missing stories. When the gangsters at the boxing stadium and night club think that the woman is a mob boss, she plays the role to help the reporter and boxer.
The plot was actually interesting and some of the jokes were funny. The characters were identifiable, but far from memorable. The style was of the time, pacing about right and there weren't any technical problems. This is just another alrihgt movie to watch because there's nothing else to do. I rate it o.k.
This is how watching a bunch of old films should go: lots of o.k. with a good one or a bad one here and there. I was getting really tired of giving everything such bad ratings, but the films really did suck.

Son of the Navy (1940)

An American comedy drama directed by William Nigh, starring Jean Parker and James Dunn.
A sailor is walking along a road on his way to his ship and joins up with a boy who is hitchhiking. They are picked up by a woman and pretend to be father and son in order to get a ride. The boy turns out to have escaped from an orphanage and because he called the sailor his father, it gets the sailor in trouble. The sailor and the woman from the car argue over who will take care of the boy.
The plot was lame, but clearly presented. The characters stereotypical and shallow, but identifiable. Style was of the times. Pacing, continuity and editing were alright, but there were a few areas with technical problems. Overall, it was just to sappy for me, but an alright movie. I rate it o.k. Just another thing to watch because there's nothing else to do.

So This is Washington (1943)

An American comedy directed by Ray McCarey.
An old man who runs a general store in a rural area invents a new type of rubber. Together with his co-worker, they go to Washington D.C. to present the idea to a government official. When they arrive, they have trouble finding a place to spend the night, but soon meet someone who will take them where they need to go. When they are getting ready to present the idea, the inventor suffers amnesia from a blow to the head and can't remember anything.
It wasn't bad. The simple plot was communicated clearly and the characters were alright. The style was of the time in which it was made and the pacing kept things moving. Editing and continuity seemed fine. The audio had treble bias and dead air hiss combining to make that "nails on a chalk board" sound so often associated with old films. I'm rating it o.k. If you want something to watch, this will kill some time just fine.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Zeitgeist Addendum (2008)

An American documentary by Peter Joseph, starring Jaque Fresco.
The filmmaker explains monetary systems and their flaws. He features a guest speaker who also believes in resource based society.
This is a very good film and provides some viable answers to questions that plague humans. The basic idea is that because of the fictional value of paper, we're forced to work. It's extremely complex and the film explains it better than I ever could. It does communicate quite well. The video is appropriate for the subject matter and the audio is all good quality and audible. This film makes a very clear point about us as humans being able to do something good and we should. The filmmaker is one of my favorites and his ideas make sense to me. He wants good people to do good things and have that be the way the world works. Sounds pretty cool. I have no choice but to rate it best.

She Done Him Wrong (1933)

An American drama directed by Lowell Sherman, starring Mae West and Cary Grant.
A whore is at a bar and some stuff is going on. Seriously.
There was almost no plot to this film and what there was was very badly communicated. There were 2 good characters and the rest were extras. I'm typing of the whore and her black maid here. The style was standard '30s/'40s in black and white video with sub-par audio. Basically, I watched nothing for about an hour, but it did receive female anatomy points because Mae West is beautiful. I rate it poor.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Zeitgeist (2007)

An American documentary by Peter Joseph.
This film questions widely held beliefs of the world and shows some faults in them. It examines religion, 9:11 and the new world order.
This was one of the first films that I watched when I was "waking up". I was awakened by a co-worker around 2008, just after this film came out and in time to be excited when the addendum came out. Coming from a Satanic background, I was immeasurably entertained by the filmmaker's thoughts on religion. When they showed the guys who engineered the world trade center towers saying that the towers were built to withstand multiple airplane hits, I was sold. It is a very well made film with good audio recorded by the filmmaker and selected from other media. Some of the video is black screens and the text goes a little fast, but otherwise I like what is shown. There are news coverage videos, speakers at podiums, animations and stock footage for variety. This is definitely one of my favorite documentaries and I have watched it many times. I'm rating it best and would recommend it to anyone mature enough to understand what is being communicated.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Road Show (1941)

An American musical comedy directed and produced by Hal Roach, starring Carole Landis, John Hubbard, Patsy Kelly and Shemp Howard.
A millionaire who is about to be married fakes mental illness out of fear of marriage and hears his soon to be bride conspiring with her family on what to do with his money. They have him committed even though he is sane when he tells them he was faking and heard what they said. Together with the help of an older man with a wacky camera, he escapes the mental institution and ends up joining a circus/carnival. The millionaire falls in love with the woman running the circus.
This was actually good! The plot kept me interested, but the unique and memorable characters made it worth watching. Although stereotypical, the characters showed some depth and were developed to some degree. The older man with the camera and the woman who is mistaken for an Indian were my favorites. The style was very much '40s, but the humor was actually funny (very rare!). The audio and video quality were adequate to communicate what was going on and there were some special effects done with camera speed. Pacing was just fast enough to keep the plot moving, but not so quick as to deny enjoyment of individual scenes. Continuity and editing were both very good. I'm rating this good and would recommend it to anyone who can appreciate how well made it is.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Rhythm in the Clouds (1937)

An American comedy directed by John H. Auer.
A young woman who is being evicted from her apartment forges a letter that says she can live in the apartment of a famous composer while he is away. She then submits music and forges his name on it. The apartment is next door to the man who will be writing lyrics for the song and the 2 neighbors have noise battles through the walls.
The plot was stupid and I didn't like the characters. The dead air hiss and treble-biased audio combined to make a ringing/screeching sound at some points. There was a scene that teased the viewer with the promise of female nudity, only to deny what it promised. We see the starlet take off her shoes and drop clothing on the floor, then the camera begins to pan up her naked legs, only to have a long dress drop into view. AAARRGH!!! I rate yet another film bad. Do not watch.

Reaching For the Moon (1930)

An American romantic comedy directed by Edmund Goulding, starring Douglas Fairbanks.
A rich man goes on the same cruise as the woman who he is interested in. He is coached by his valet who makes a love potion for him which is sampled by too many people.
The plot was nearly non-existant and didn't make sense. The editing was extremely sloppy to the point of a character teleporting into a scene. We all know how I feel about harsh and treble-biased audio with lots of dead air hiss. There was one scene in which Fairbanks performed acrobatic stunts (pictured) and it was the only good part of the film. Technically a disaster, I have to rate this bad for being so poorly made.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Private Buckaroo (1942)

An American musical comedy directed by Edward F. Cline, starring The Andrews Sisters.
Entertainers from a club enlist in the army.
As much as I like music, I don't like musicals. Comedy is not my favorite genre either. I do, however, like The Andrews Sisters and old jazz. There were some good songs, but mostly bad and there were some entertaining jokes, but mostly bad. The editing was a little sloppy in some places, but the video was generally good. The treble-biased audio did not help the mostly bad music in this film and the antique style left much to be desired. The continuity seemed choppy to me as well. I rate it poor because it wasn't horrible. The only real reason to watch this is for The Andrews Sisters.

Honeymoon in Bali A.K.A. Husbands or Lovers A.K.A. My Love For Yours (1939)

An American romance directed by Edward H. Griffith, starring Fred MacMurray.
A woman who runs a department store has her future told by a fortune teller and it comes true.
Momma don't want no peas no rice no coconut oil. The child in the film shouts this phrase repeatedly and I found it to be most annoying. The hour and 40 minute duration was also annoyingly long. I don't like romance films and the early date of this one didn't help matters any. The harsh and treble-biased audio was also terrible. I rate this bad. Do not watch!

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Earthlings (2005)

A documentary directed by Shaun Monson, narrated by Joaquin Phoenix.
The mistreatment, torture and killing of animals is examined and examples are shown. This is done in the light that we are all Earthlings that have basic needs and senses.
This is a film that would make even Pindar cry. For those who do not know, Pindar is the lord of the reptilians and the leader of the Illuminati. He is a transdimensional white dragon with a golden penis and the source of all evil. I watched the humans in the film cruelly drag animals around and tear apart their still living bodies. As I watched, I desired revenge upon the tormentors. I would like to see Earthlings 2: The Revenge, a future film in which humans are treated in the same manner in which they treated the animals. They would be shackled and chained, forced to live in small, overcrowded cages and have body parts removed to prevent them from hurting one another. They would be given terrible, deadly diseases "just to see what happens". They would have their skulls cut open and electrodes probed into their exposed brains. They would be fed toxic chemicals (as if that were not already happening!). When the time came for them to be slaughtered, they would be skinned alive and then have their throats cut and esophogus torn out. After being violently dumped onto a concrete floor covered in the blood and entrails of those who came before them, they would be hooked through one foot and hoisted into the air. Then they would be piled into a vat where boiling water drowned and cooked them to death. The most striking scene featured a fur production area in which an animal was skinned alive and was clearly alive after the process. Although this is one of the nastiest films I have ever viewed (second only to Nekromantik (1987)), I rate it best because of emotional and thought inducing content. I would recommend this film to everyone, even those who could not stomach the content and would vomit or cover their eyes. Everyone needs to know that animals feel pain and that using them for our benefit is wrong.

My Favorite Brunette (1947)

An American romantic comedy mystery directed by Elliott Nugent, starring Bob Hope, Dorothy Lamour, Lon Chaney Jr. and Bing Crosby.
A timid photographer has an office next to that of a private eye detective. The detective leaves on business and a woman thinks that the photographer is the detective when she meets him in the office. The woman drags the photographer into a complex plot involving dangerous men.
I had to turn it off at an hour and 8 minutes because I couldn't watch another 20 minutes of this stupidity. The style and production were a little older looking than the '47 date, but there weren't any real technical mistakes in the film. The editing was good and the pacing kept things moving. I just got really tired of plot twists, the web of intrigue and the stupid, timid photographer being fooled by everyone he meets. An hour and 27 minutes is exceedingly long for me to pay attention to an old film of a genre that I dislike. I have to rate it shit because I turned it off.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Faces of Death series (1978 - 1990)

An American horror documentary by John Alan Schwartz.
Real and fictional film footage of accidents, disasters and murders is shown and narrated, accompanied by a variety of music.
Which parts are real and which are staged? I think not knowing is more fun. I viewed the films without knowing that some of the scenes were staged and learning of this cheapened the experience. The video quality changes with every segment, but the audio is mostly good. It was all the same volume level, which is most important. Plot and characters are a non-issue for this style of film and with the compilation nature of the presentation, pacing ranges wildly as well. One of my most treasured childhood memories is of repeated visits to VHS rental stores and asking my parents to rent these films for me. 20 something years later, I was somewhat disappointed that the films were not gruesome or gory enough for me, although several segments did actually gross me out. I'm rating this best and would recommend it for anyone with extreme tastes. It wasn't as nasty as Nekromantik (1987) or Earthlings (2005), but far nastier than anything else I've seen.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

My Dear Secretary (1948)

An American romantic comedy directed by Charles Martin, starring Kirk Douglas and Laraine Day.
A writer hires a secretary and they have a roller coaster relationship.
The plot and characters were clearly communicated, but seemed a little sitcomesque to me. The audio and video quality were not bad for '48 and the editing was smooth. This is a pretty simple film that needs a simple review. It's a decent watch for an old romantic comedy and much better than today's romantic comedies. The part at the end repeating a part from the beginning with different characters in different roles was actually really cool. I thought it was adequately made and it wasn't a chore to watch. I rate it adequate. Watch this if you just want something to watch.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Antipodes (2013)

A French Australian action documentary by Matthias Dandois, Sam Partaix, Luc Legrand and Max Charveron.
A team of French BMX riders and a skateboarder ply their trade in Australia.
This is an awesome film that was shot wonderfully and the tricks are amazing. Some highlights include BMX in a 90 degree pipe elbow and a half decade half tailwhip off a rail. The only negative comment I have is about the soundtrack. Repetitive indie rock is not my favorite music. The editing was really good because they showed the unsuccessful attempts at complex moves as well as successful execution. Good camera-work and good riding. I rate it awesome. Definitely recommended viewing.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Midnight Manhunt (1945)

An American crime film directed by William C. Thomas.
The body of a notorious criminal who is supposed to have been dead for 5 years is found recently killed. A reporter, wax museum staff and the police argue over where the corpse is.
This is probably the worst production value I have ever seen in a film. The editing was extremely sloppy, cutting off dialogue and making the video seem to jump. The audio quality was terrible and the video was full of artifacts. The blips and dots never end and at one point, I believe that there was a hair on the actual film itself or a place where it was torn and mended badly (picture). Is that something poking him in the eye or coming out of his nose? The plot was confusing and I was under the impression that there were more characters than there actually are. The whole mess just reeked of unprofessionalism. I rate it shit. DO NOT WATCH!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Li'l Abner (1940)

An American romantic comedy directed by Albert S. Rogell, starring Jeff York and Buster Keaton.
A young man feels sick from eating a strange sandwich and a barber tells him he only has 24 hours to live. Because he thinks that he will be dead soon, he gets engaged to a young woman who has been chasing him for years, captures a criminal and gets engaged to another woman in exchange for help escaping from the criminal's gang. The matter of who he will marry is settled at a Sadie Hawkins day race.
So stupid! The simple plot and shallow characters made for an uninteresting film. The early date and low production value ensured this. The idiotic humor really drove the whole thing home. What boggles my mind is a whole town of men being chased by women and not wanting to be caught, except for a pair of socially inept guys. An interesting note is that Li'l Abner's father's name is Lucifer. Also, the socially inept guys who are Abner's friends remind me of friends that I would have. One is a stereotypical Injun who can't make fire and the other is a hulking Muppet-style character whose nose is the only facial feature visible because of his long hair and beard. I rate this bad. Don't watch it.

Let's Go Collegiate (1941)

An American comedy directed by Jean Yarbrough, starring Mantan Moreland.
When the star rower on their boat team is drafted, college students grab a man off the street to impersonate the missing friend. They regret their decision.
Barely tolerable. The lame and predictable plot left much to be desired. The static and shallow characters did likewise. The style and production value were standard for 1941 and the pacing was as stock as it gets. Mantan Moreland was type-cast for comic relief and did his best, although he was not given much screen time. I watched it all the way through and it wasn't too bad. I rate it poor for being watchable, but nowhere near good. I would not advise viewing.

Friday, November 14, 2014

King of the Zombies (1941)

An American comedic horror directed by Jean Yarbrough.
An airplane carrying 3 men is lost and picks up a radio signal. They land the plane on an island where they find a mad scientist who employs a crew of zombies.
The plot was simple, yet effective and the characters were memorable. I was impressed with Mantan Moreland's character's dialogue. Moreland was a famous comedian in the '30s and '40s and I found his use of ebonics comical. The pacing was quick enough to hold most of my attention and the style and production value were pretty standard for the time, if not a cut above standard. I'm rating this adequate because I actually liked it. If you're looking for public domain comedic horror, this is a good one to watch.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Kid Dynamite (1943)

An American crime drama directed by Wallace Fox.
A rivalry between gang members is started by a misunderstanding and gets coumpounded by each sequential event.
Whatever. I shouldn't even watch The East Side Kids anymore. Every film is the same, with stupid Muggs going berserk over trifles and the rest of the gang catering to his every whim, except Danny. Danny is the good boy who doesn't fall in line with gangsters, but with society and government instead. All the characters, plots, styles... You get the picture. This is the last one of these I'm watching. I rate it poor because I watched the whole thing painlessly. Not Recommended.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Judge Priest (1934)

An American comedy drama directed by John Ford, starring Will Rogers.
Men are fighting over a woman and the judge set to preside over the case has too close a relationship with the people involved to do his job impartially.
The plot was one of the murkiest and most complex I've ever experienced. The characters all kind of blended together with their southern drawls. I feel that this film did not communicate clearly, as is the case with many films of this time period. The video was grainy, blurry and pixelated with harsh, treble-biased audio. I rate it bad. You probably shouldn't watch it.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter (1965)

An American horror western directed by William Beaudine.
The daughter of professor Frankenstein moves her resurrection lab to the American southwest. There she meets Jesse James.
This was absolutely horrid! There really was no plot, just filler and the characters didn't make any difference. The style was very much like an old western. The audio and video were adequate, but that didn't help either. The whole thing is just so stupid and so pointless that I wanted to turn it off. I watched it until the end and I must say that it is one of the worst films ever made. My main gripe is that it was a terrible idea for a movie from the start. The pacing was painfully slow and there were continuity problems too. I rate it shit.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity (1999)

An American documentary directed by Sut Jhally, starring Jackson Katz.
The narrator examines the question of why violence is a decidedly male problem by examining how the media portrays men.
After the Final Fantasy anime with gender role reversals, I have been doing research into that subject. The information that has been turned up by this is vague, but prolific. When men are portrayed as men in media, they use strength to hurt others. This film agrees with that statement and, as most documentaries, gives little answer to the deeep questions of the matter being discussed. It was long on analysis, evaluation and appraisal, but short on answers and solutions. It was very well-made though. The audio and video from countless clips was all even and all of the video looked top quality. The narration was thoughtful and eloquent. I rate it adequate. You should watch this if you like documentaries and have unanswered questions about gender roles (which will remain unanswered at the end of the film).

Jack and the Beanstalk (1952)

An American musical comedy directed by Jean Yarbrough, starring Bud Abbott and Lou Costello.
Abbott and Costello take a babysitting job for a boy and his baby sister. Unable to read, the babysitter is read to by the boy and dreams the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, with characters from the "real world" playing parts in the dream.
I can take an old movie and I'll watch an old comedy. When it becomes a musical is when I turn it off. I liked how the video went from B&W to color a la Wizard of Oz and the bright, fake color looked good. The plot was clearly communicated and I liked how the actors played double roles inside and outside the dream. I have to rate this shit because I turned it off. I would obviously not recommend viewing unless you like stupid old comedies that are also hokey musicals.

It's a Joke, Son! (1947)

An American comedy directed by Benjamin Stoloff, starring Kenny Delmar.
The wife of a loud man decides to run for senator in an election. Her political rivals induce her husband to run against her. When the husband looks like he will win, the politicians kidnap him.
That, I say, that is Foghorn Leghorn! In all actuality, it really is. Wikipedia cites the main character of this film as the inspiration for the cartoon character and the film character's name is Beauregard Claghorn. Most of the comedy in this film was situational, with some slapstick physical comedy thrown in. The plot and characters were communicated well and the pacing was quick enough to hold my attention. There isn't much room for filler in a film that is only an hour long, but the style left a little to be desired. The audio and video were on the prehistoric side, hurting the general production value. The song inspiring feats of strength from the character was my favorite aspect of the film. It was generally entertaining and I think it was presented as well as could be expected. I rate it adequate. You may want to watch this if you're interested in the origin of the cartoon character or if you just want to see a decent older movie.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

It Can Be Done Amigo A.K.A. Si Può Fare... Amigo A.K.A. Saddle Tramps (1972)

A Spanish Italian French spaghetti western directed by Maurizio Lucidi, starring Bud Spencer.
A lone cowboy is being chased by a man who claims that the cowboy impregnated his sister. A lawyer and his nephew are nearby and the lawyer is shot, leaving the young nephew in the care of the first cowboy. The cowboy finds that the child owns a ranch and has a wad of cash. They go to the town where the ranch is and are not welcomed. People try to buy the ranch from the boy and cowboy because they know what the main characters do not.
The complex plot was not clearly communicated. Part of this was because the pacing was too slow. The other part is because the editing and camera angles were weird and didn't make sense. What looked like a scene change would only be a change of camera angles. The continuity was extremely choppy because of this.The video was poor quality, with overexposed lights and underexposed darks. The audio was harsh and annoying. Despite the poor production quality, it still maintained the style of a classic spaghetti western. Bud Spencer is a classic actor of this genre and The other actors did an alright job as well. All of the main characters were easily differentiated and relatively memorable. This is one of those movies that I think should have been better than it is. They had the right people and style, but poor production and murky communication spoiled it. I rate this poor.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Hi Diddle Diddle A.K.A. Diamonds and Crime (1943)

An American comedy drama directed by Andrew L. Stone.
A couple get married and have trouble finding alone time before the man has to leave and return to the navy.
I find the title funny because of the modern connotations of the word "diddle" and the fact that the couple is trying to do so. Other than that, I thought it was crappy. The fast pace and large number of characters makes following the plot more difficult than it should be. It had some animated sequences in the beginning and end, but these were short and did not help. The ending song was one of the most annoying things I have ever heard. I rate it bad and would advise against viewing.

The Great Rupert (1950)

An American drama directed by Irving Pichel, starring Jimmy Durante.
A circus performer with a trained squirrel is evicted from his apartment and lets the squirrel go in a park nearby. The squirrel returns to the apartment and lives in the rafters. A new family moves into the apartment and the landlord upstairs starts getting money every week. He hides the money behind a floorboard and the squrrel ejects it into the apartment.
This film is listed as a comedy, but I don't see what's so funny. The stop motion animation for the squrrel really got my attention, but the rest of the film was rather lackluster. The plot and characters were clearly communicated and the style was typical of the time. I found the pacing to be extremely slow and thought there was too much filler. I rate it o.k. because of the stop motion squirrel. I would recommend finding a short clip of the squirrel and skipping the movie.

Flying Deuces A.K.A. Flying Aces (1939)

An American comedy directed by A. Edward Sutherland, starring Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy.
A man tries to get a woman to marry him. When she declines the offer, he brings his friend to a river to drown themselves. A policeman sees this and convinces them to join the foreign legion.
The physical comedy wasn't very funny, but it wasn't a bad film. The plot and characters were clear and I could see and hear everything just fine. The style reminded me of Abbott and Costello for obvious reasons. There was a joke that I did get in which Laurel plays the strings of a cot as if it were a harp. I'm rating this adequate and would recommend it if you don't really care what you're watching.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Fiesta A.K.A. Gaiety (1941)

An American musical directed by LeRoy Prinz.
A small town in Mexico is ready to welcome a young woman back from a trip to Mexico City. Her fiancee is there and waiting. The woman arrives and produces a new fiancee from the car that delivered her.
44 minutes of annoying music. The audio was treble-heavy and a little too harsh. The video looked alright for color in '41. The plot seemed simple and the characters same. I turned it off after 19 minutes of pseudo-Mexican music with an American Broadway twist. I'm rating it bad because it's not the worst thing I've ever seen, but close. I would not recommend this, especially if one has a hangover (OUCH!).

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Final Fantasy: Legend of the Crystals (1994)

A Japanese OVA anime directed by Shigeyuki Hayashi (Rintaro).
When magic crystals are stolen from sacred shrines on the earth by an interplanetary badguy, a girl and her grandfather set out to save the last crystal. A boy follows them and the grandfather's health fails, leaving him behind. The boy and girl meet soldiers and pirates who join them as well as a ghost and finally a dragon. Together the team faces the enemy to restore the crystals to their rightful place.
Unlike newer Final Fantasy films, this one was very much like the games. Party gathering, latent magical abilities, puzzles and transformations were the main concepts that drew such a close analogy. The rise and fall of pacing with action mirrored gameplay and I could easily imagine this story being told in the form of an RPG video game. I noticed some gender role reversals that could be mentioned here, such as the male lead's armor breasts and bum-flap/skirt while the female lead lacked boobs and farted magical light. The female sky pirate acted masculine and the male lead soldier acted feminine. The picture demonstrates what I mean. There were 2 problems that I could point out: The version that I saw had audio that changed levels without warning, fluctuating from 1/3rd volume up to 3x volume. The other thing is that most of the games have a longer plot that takes many hours of text screens or cut-scenes to tell. Other than that, I thought it was great. I rate it awesome for being so much like the games. Any Final Fantasy or anime fan will like this.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Moby Dick (1956)

An American adventure film directed by John Huston, starring Gregory Peck and Orson Welles.
A man intent on joining the crew of a whaling ship meets a harpooner at an inn. Together they board the Pequod under the command of Captain Ahab who is in search of a white whale.
The film itself wasn't too bad. The plot and characters kept me interested and it was alright technically. I can see why it is famous because it was almost enjoyable. Unfortunately for this film, I have read the book. The actual action that takes place in this megalithic tome would barely fill a childrens' picture book. That is why it is so disconcerting that they got most of the plot wrong. They got the right characters on the right boat and there was a white whale, but that's where the similarity ends. It's like if I asked someone to make coffee and they turned the switch on without plugging it in, tossed some grounds in the glass pot, spilled water on the table and placed a filter on top of the machine. They had so little to do and should have gotten everything right. I'm rating this poor because it's an alright movie, but it isn't Moby Dick by any stretch of the imagination. I would only recommend this to those who will never read the book.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Eternally Yours (1939)

An American romantic drama film directed by Tay Garnett.
A woman leaves her husband because she thinks that he is being unfaithful. A mutual friend invites both of them on a vacation together with their new spouses.
The simple plot would have taken much less time to tell the story of without so much filler. The characters were difficult to differentiate because of similar clothing and hair styles. The style was typical of the time that this was made and the pacing was overly slow. The audio was crackly and distorted, but the soundtrack was actually good. One of the themes reminded me of a theme from Final Fantasy VII as the characters are first leaving Midgar. The video was obviously in black and white and a tad on the grainy and blurry side. I'm rating it bad because I don't like romantic films and thought it was mostly filler. I would advise against watching it unless you really like old romance movies.

Bowery Blitzkrieg (1941)

An American crime drama directed by Wallace Fox.
East Side Kids #6. While police and gangsters surround the lives of a group of young men in New York City, one of them tries to be a prize fighting boxer.
I thought the plot was minimal and most of the film turned out to be filler. There were also too many characters, which were necessitated by all of the filler sub-plots, but had no impact on the actual storyline. The style was very similar to the original East Side Kids film and the pacing was just as quick. The audio had some muffled sections and the video was a little blurry at spots, but I could hear and see everything that was going on. I rate this poor because it was alright technically, but I didn't really like it and thought there was too much filler. The original East Side Kids was much better and if you're interested in this kind of film, that is the one to watch.