Thursday, June 30, 2011

Still Crazy (1998)

A drama directed by Brian Gibson.
A '70s rock band reunite after many years.
The music was extremely mediocre, as with most fictional band films. There was some narration and there were a few thick accents, but otherwise, it was nothing special. I'm rating it o.k.

Slacker (1991)

An art film by Richard Linklater.
The camera follows various people in a city for short periods of time.
There being no real plot and no main characters, this is difficult to rate. It was all about style. I'm having trouble finding words to express what I think of this film... I'll just rate it good for being weird. The picture is of an androgynous individual trying to sell some celebrity paraphernalia.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Shakes the Clown (1992)

A comedic drama by Bobcat Goldthwait with Adam Sandler.
An alcoholic clown has trouble in his career.
The plot was stereotypical and the characters were shallow. The style held nothing to keep me interested. The ending upset me greatly because Shakes went to AA to have himself totally destroyed by that group. They don't help, they hurt. If you want to stop drinking, just stop, don't go to that religious cult. I'm rating this bad for not being interesting at all and having an AA ending.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tremors series (1990 - 2004)

A science fiction directed by Ron Underwood, S. S. Wilson and Brent Maddock, starring Michael Gross.
Monsters appear from underground and begin to kill people in unpopulated areas. A small team of assorted people fight them. The first film takes place in a desert in America, The second happens in Mexico, the third returns to the same small town and the fourth is in that same small town far in the past.
I remember watching some of these when I was younger. What a youth, Tremors, Pet Sematary and Nightmare on Elm Street... These films are very cheesy, the main cheese coming from repetition of the plot and monster guts splashing everywhere. The entertainment value is relatively high though. As the films are lame, but funny-cheesy, I'm rating them adequate.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Quicksilver Highway (1997)

A horror by Mike Garris, starring Christopher Lloyd.
A story teller meets 2 people and tells a story to each, based on how he meets them. In the first story, a traveling salesman picks up novelty teeth and a hitchhiker at a roadside tourist trap. In the second, a man's hands rebel against him.
This was the cheesy type of stuff that I would expect from an '80s film, not '97. The characters and plots were very superficial. The style was nearly worthless and Christopher Lloyd doesn't look cool dressed goth. The DeLorean should have popped into existence and taken him back to a film that he belongs in. Despite the main character not fitting the film, he was the coolest part of it. I'm rating this poor for being too cheesy for my tastes (yeah, that takes a lot!).

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead (2009)

A horror by Jordan Galland, with a cameo by Ralph Macchio.
A play director helps a vampire to put on a vampire version of Hamlet. He is contacted by a woman from a secret society who is looking for the holy grail.
This film is just too far removed from Hamlet to even consider using this title. It's a film about a play that is named after a spin-off. It just doesn't work. The plot was overly complicated and not even that good anyway. The style was too modern for my tastes. I'm rating this bad for a whole slew of reasons.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (1990)

A comedy by Tom Stoppard, starring Gary Oldman, Tim Roth and Richard Dreyfuss.
A pair of minor characters in Hamlet are summoned to the castle. On their way, they meet a group of actors going to the same place. They hang around Hamlet's castle until they are commanded to bring him to England.
This film was very strange. The 2 men with long names play word games and use plays on words most of the time that they are in the castle. One of them fools around with physics concepts like water displacement and paper airplanes. The leader of the actors tries to give them a clue about what's going on, but they misunderstand his cryptic words. I'm rating this good because I liked it for being weird.

Friday, June 24, 2011

The Quick and the Dead (1995)

A western directed by Sam Raimi, starring Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman, Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio.
A female gunfighter goes to a town where a gun tournament is held. She enters the tournament, along with a priest, a father and his son. She makes friends with the priest while there.
This fits the description of a good film. The characters, plot, setting, style and pace were all good. The production value was good as well. It had the action style of many short camera shots strung together and there was a gunshot near the end that did something that I've never seen a gunshot do before. I can't help but rate it good.

Rubin and Ed (1991)

A black comedy directed by Trent Harris, starring Crispin Glover.
A shut-in's mother takes his stereo away until he goes out and finds a friend. A pyramid scheme salesman has to find a person to bring into the business. The 2 meet and go on a quest to bury a cat in the desert before going to a business meeting.
This was strange in that type of way that leaves the viewer asking "why?". The style reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite. There's not much else to say. It gets points for weirdness, so I'm saying adequate.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Romeo + Juliet (1996)

A drama directed by Baz Luhrmann, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Claire Daines and John Leguizamo.
A boy and a girl from feuding families fall in love. The boy's friends save him and try to help the 2, but something goes wrong.
This is a very modern adaptation of the old Shakespeare play. The characters and plot are good, but I found the presentation lacking. The modern world does not seem to mix well with Shakespeare. They stayed pretty true to the original script, but I suspect that some things were changed. I'm rating this adequate because the source material was good, but it was over-produced.

Robot Jox (1990)

A science fiction directed by Stewart Gordon.
In the distant future, men piloting giant robots decide political matters in place of having wars. This is the story of 2 such men.
I saw Full Moon names when the credits were rolling and this explained why it seemed like a Full Moon flick. The Bands (Charles and company) were involved as well as Ted Nicolaou. It seems that the movies they made in the early '90s were targeted at the pubescent male demographic. Common themes were used like violence, fantasy, science fiction, monsters, magic, etc... Anyway, it's exactly what I expected. I'm rating it o.k.

The Red Violin (1998)

A drama directed by Francois Girard, starring Samuel L. Jackson.
A master luthier makes a perfect violin and promises his pregnant wife that their son will play it. The wife gets a tarot reading from a gypsy housekeeper before delivering the baby. The wife dies in childbirth and the luthier paints the violin red. The film then follows the stories of all the people who own the red violin from the 1600s to the present.
The characters and sub-plots changed with the owners of the instrument, but classical music followed through the whole story. There are some interesting plot twists at the end, but I won't spoil them here. The pacing was relatively slow and the style was pretty cool. Films about good music usually sway my ratings heavily and this is no exception. I'm rating it best.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

A River Runs Through It (1992)

A drama by Robert Redford, starring Brad Pitt.
2 sons of a minister grow up in Montana. They learn fly fishing from their father, but lead very different lives.
This is just about 2 hours long, but well worth the time. The plot and characters kept me interested. The pace was a little slow, but it was clearly how it was meant to be. The style was good and they used slowly panning camera-work very well to illustrate the scenes. A funny part is when the brothers take a girlfriend's brother fishing. I'm rating this that good, solid green that films should shoot for.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Run Lola Run (1998)

A thriller directed by Tom Tykwer.
A woman has to get 100,00 marks for her boyfriend in 20 minutes. When she doesn't make the money in the time limit, the plot resets.
This film has a very cool premise. The plot and characters are good and the style is awesome. There are clips of animation at some points , showing Lola's rush to get the money. This has a very high entertainment value. I'm rating it awesome.

Poison (1991)

A drama directed by Todd Haynes.
4 separate stories take place. In one (presented as a documentary), a child kills his father and has flown away. In another, some guys are in jail. Another story focuses on a scientist who drinks his experiment and gets leprosy and starts to kill people by infecting them and in the other, there are guys outdoors near some old stone walls.
The plots get tangled into a big mess of incoherence. Supposedly, this is some famous gay film, but being straight, I must not have understood most of the faggotry of the overtones. There are some gay guys in the film, but I have trouble seeing how the scientist fits into the gay theme. Maybe he represents AIDS (hah, little laugh). One picture is from the movie and the other is the REAL gay Poison from 1991! Anyway, I'm rating it bad for being nearly incoherent and definitely not worth my time.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Bounty (1984)

A historical adventure directed by Roger Donaldson, starring Mel Gibson, Anthony Hopkins and Liam Neeson.
A captain of a ship is overthrown by his crew in a mutiny.
This story is usually referred to as Mutiny on... the Bounty. All of the film elements were there, but it just didn't hold my attention. I think that it may have been a little over-produced. It wasn't bad, just not what I wanted to watch. I'm rating it o.k.

Wizards (1977)

A fantasy science fiction by Ralph Bakshi.
After nuclear bombs wipe out the world, mutants dwell in radiated areas and magical folk live in the good lands. A faery queen gives birth to 2 wizards, one good and one evil. The evil wizard goes to the mutant areas and builds an army while the good wizard travels the land helping people. After their mother dies, the wizards have a conflict to the death.
This is one of my favorite films. It's a toss-up between this and The Princess Bride. Both offer fantasy and adventure with lots of variety and epic quests. The animation in this mixes rotoscoping with regular cartoon style animation at will and it turns out for the better. The plot is epic and the characters are unforgettable. I'm rating this best because it's one of my favorites and my first review didn't do it justice at all.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Color of Pomegranates (1968)

An art film by Sergei Parajanov.
The life of a poet is described symbolically.
This looks and seems very similar to the work of Alejandro Jodorowsky. Seemingly unrelated scenes are cut together in an aesthetically pleasing way, but the plot is not clear. I found out about this film at a concert last night. The band before mine was projecting it onto their kick drum while they played. I asked the guitarist what it was and when I mentioned Jodorowsky, he said that people thought they were showing El Topo. I'm rating it awesome for being strange, but it would have gotten a better rating if it had a coherent plot.

Stake Land (2010)

A horror adventure by Jim Mickle.
After a "vampire apocalypse", a vampire hunter takes an orphaned boy as an apprentice. They travel and pick up other people as they search for a place to live that is free of vampires.
As I've said before and will say again, I like elegant vampires in frilly shirts biting sweet young maidens, not coarse, animalistic blood suckers. Despite the poor quality of the vampires, this movie was actually cool. The style and soundtrack really worked together to invoke a post-apocalyptic setting. The characters were well done too. I'm rating this good because I liked watching it and it had some core elements that make up a good film.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Paprika (1991)

A sexploitation film by Tinto Brass.
A girl begins a career as a prostitute to make extra money, but sticks with her job choice longer than expected.
If you thought Showgirls had a lot of breast scenes, this blows that away. I would call the female breast a main character and they are all large. The plot was a little sparse and the characters shallow, but what do you expect? If you're looking for some relatively clean softcore porn, this is it. I'm rating it good for boobs.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Othello (1952 & 1995)

A drama directed by Orson Welles and Oliver Parker, starring Lawrence Fishburne (1995).
One man plays other people off against each other until they act like the villain that he is.
The plot and characters are very good (multi-hundreds of years old Shakespeare plays tend to have this in common). The 2 versions were very similar, despite the difference between color and non-colorized film. The 1952 film had a little less entertainment value because of lack of color. In the 1995 version, Iago's monologues to the audience were extremely effective. These films use a little less of the "poetry language" than Hamlet, but still retain the same type of style. The production value was also very similar to Hamlet in the 1995 version, with short camera shots strung together like in an action film. I'm rating them both (as they weren't very different, hence why remake?) the same as Hamlet, adequate.

Office Space (1999)

A comedy written and directed by Mike Judge.
A man works at an office and hates his job. He goes to see a hypnotherapist who dies while hypnotizing him. The man with the office job is left in a constant state of relaxation and begins to act impulsively.
This film is very popular, but actually pretty good. Here's a first: I get the humor! My favorite scene involves the fate of the accursed fax machine. The characters are stereotypical, but seem to represent a good cross-section of real people. The plot is really good and so is the style. I'm rating this good on entertainment value.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Kaena, The Prophecy (2003)

A CG animation directed by Chris Delaporte and Pascal Pinon, starring Kirsten Dunst.
A village of people gather sap for their gods. An adventurous young woman doesn't believe all that the priest tells her and runs away from the sick society. She is found by a man who (with his army of worms in mech suits) has built a spaceship to leave that world behind. The girl tells him of a blue sun, which is really an artifact from the man's civilization. They head out to save the artifact and the girl's people.
Some of the plot was relevant to the real world, but otherwise it was pretty "run of the mill". The animation looked almost like Pixar and the characters seemed Disney-like in some ways. Disney characters' minds are all very closed, if you've ever noticed. They are very 2 dimensional. I'm rating this o.k. because I enjoyed watching it, but it resembles Freemasonic brainwashing material. Oh, and don't think that because it's "brainWASHING" that your brain gets cleaned. It doesn't.

Nightbreed (1990)

A horror directed by Clive Barker, starring David Cronenberg.
A troubled man's therapist is an undead creature. The man tries to get to the bottom of what's happening, becoming an undead creature himself.
The style was alright, but the plot and characters were so stereotypical that it negates any good qualities. This is typical '80s horror applied to a '90s film. I'm rating it bad because it was.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Nothing but Trouble (1991)

A comedy horror by Dan Aykroyd, starring Chevy Chase, John Candy and Demi Moore.
A car full of New Yorkers run a stop sign in a small town and get arrested. They are at the mercy of a corrupt judge who wants the driver to marry his daughter and to kill everyone else.
This film was forgettable. The characters, plot, setting, style, pacing and production value were all mediocre. The picture is of Dan Aykroyd as the judge. I don't feel that I need to write much, so I'm rating this poor.

Nell (1994)

A drama directed by Michael Apted, starring Jodie Foster and Liam Neeson.
An old hermit woman dies and leaves her strange daughter unattended. The town doctor finds the daughter in the house when he is attending to her dead mother. The daughter speaks broken English and has never left the cabin. The doctor calls in a psychologist to help him, as the government wants to lock the girl up in a mental home.
The plot and characters were good, but I couldn't help but think that the friendly doctors were mocking this girl's speech. Another inconsistency is the local cop running a news van off the trail. Everyone knows that cops would never help those in need! The plot gets very sentimental towards the end and the ending is under-explained. The style and pacing fit this film very well and the production value was pretty good. I'm tired of writing "adequate", but I have to. It's better than o.k., but not quite good enough to call good.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Lost Highway (1997)

A thriller directed by David Lynch, with cameos by Gary Busey, Richard Pryor, Marilyn Manson and Twiggy Ramirez.
The plot is a mess. It would take way too much text to explain even the smallest bit.
The soundtrack for this film has a very wide variety of music in it. From Rammstein to free and abstract jazz, it's got a little of everything. The characters and plot were extremely confusing, but the style was good. I'm rating this adequate because the plot was extremely convoluted, but the film was still cool.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Naked Lunch (1991)

A science fiction fantasy directed by David Cronenberg, based on a book by William S. Burroughs.
An insect exterminator's wife becomes addicted to his pesticides and he is arrested for possession of the pesticides. At the police station, he meets a giant bug that loves the pesticide powder and has inside information. He kills his wife and meets a strange creature in a bar. The creature tells him to get a typewriter and move to "The Zone". The typewriter becomes a giant bug and his boss on secret spy missions.
This is really strange and really cool. It's a shame that the plot doesn't make any sense, but maybe that just adds to the unique charm of this film. I liked the typewriter beings even though the special effects were limited. I'm rating this awesome. It's something you have to see to believe.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Lord of the Flies (1963 & 1990)

An adventure directed by Peter Brook and Harry Hook, based on the book by William Golding.
A group of boys are stranded on an island. They try to form a society, but it degenerates into chaos.
The 1963 film was by the book, but the 1990 film put the book in a blender and spit out a randomized plot. In the 1963 film, the boys' clothes went to tatters in a matter of days, but the breaking of piggy's glasses was explained. In the 1990 film, the boys shed most of their clothing immediately and the breaking of piggy's glasses was not explained. In the 1963 film, they built a fire in a good place where it did not spread, but in the 1990 film, they built a fire on grass near a tree and it did spread. The 1990 film featured an adult pilot who was sick and injured that was not in the book or the 1963 film. despite these differences, I'm rating both films poor because the first one was annoying and the second got the plot all mixed up.

Lionheart (1990)

An action film directed by Sheldon Lettich, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme.
A man in the French foreign legion hears that his brother is killed and escapes. He stows away on a boat to New York city and gets in a street fight there. The bookie becomes his manager and introduces him to an elite fight club. After making tons of money, he goes to Las Angeles to see his brother, who is now dead. He finds his brother's wife and daughter and tries to take care of them financially.
This was a pretty standard "fighting for money" movie. The characters are as shallow as the plot and the style is typical of the genre. The fights are good and Jean-Claude uses some cool Thai boxing techniques. I'm rating this o.k. for being exactly what I expected. I did, however, enjoy watching it.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Ricky 6 (2000)

A biography by Peter Filardi.
A young man is into drugs and satanism. He pursues both beyond the point of "dabbling".
This used to be me. I didn't kill anyone else or myself, but the rest of it would be pretty accurate. Little Ricky forgets some key components of the black mass though. He calls the 4 crown princes of hell, but fails to follow with an Enochian key. He has the dagger and black candles, but forgets that he needs a single white candle, a proper altar and a few other items. During the ritual of destruction, he leaves out the effigy or representation of the target and in all of his rituals, he forgets to say "Shemhamforash! Hail Satan!". Details of satanic ritual aside, I liked it. I even liked it although my copy had some skipping audio. I have to rate this good.

Last Night (1998)

A drama by Don McKellar, starring David Cronenberg.
The world is about to end at midnight and everyone knows it. Various people choose to spend their last hours in different ways.
This film is very dark, despite the bright settings and it captures the apocalyptic feeling of the plot very well. The characters are mediocre at best, but the pace is quick and the setting holds my attention. I'm rating it adequate.
This blog has become difficult to keep going. This is because I got a job and on top of 2 bands practicing and one having shows, I find it difficult to get through a movie in a reasonable amount of time. They get stopped and resumed quite frequently and when I do get to the end, there's no time to review it.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Match Factory Girl (1990)

A drama by Aki Kaurismaki.
A woman with a boring life buys a new dress and has a one night stand with a man. The man refuses to stay with her and when she finds that she is pregnant, the man tells her to get rid of the child. Her parents kick her out of their home and she is left to live with her brother. She then decides to get revenge.
The plot sounds SO COOL!!! Unfortunately, the film is not. I expected it to be strange and the guy looking a little like Varg Vikernes (of Burzum infame (as in infamy)) didn't surprise me. It was just so dull and lifeless. I wanted to see what happened to the people she takes revenge on, but it was not shown. I'm rating this o.k., but it should have been a whole hell of a lot better.

THe Man in the Iron Mask (1998)

An adventure by Randall Wallace, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, John Malkovich and Gerard Depardieu.
The king of France is a terrible man who is ruling the country unwisely. A group of Musketeers (3 to be exact) find that the king has a twin brother and plot to switch kings.
This took me a while to watch, as I've been very busy. The characters develop well with the plot like they should. The style and production value were pretty decent. The pacing was a little slow, as it was over 2 hours long, but overall enjoyable. There were some good fencing scenes. I'm rating it good.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Hamlet (1990)

A drama directed by Franco Zeffirelli, starring Mel Gibson.
A young noble's uncle has conspired with the noble's mother to kill his father. The mother and uncle marry and the young man disapproves. He sees his father's ghost when the guards of the castle alert him to the specter's appearance. Soon, the mother and uncle begin plotting the young man's death as well.
This film used a shortened version of the original play, but kept much of the dialogue the same. Some people may have trouble understanding things when all of the speech is in poetry, but I fared quite well in this. The plot and characters are good, as they had better be for a Shakespeare play. The style and production value were typical of the late '80s and early'90s, which is none too shabby. I wish that I had seen it in widescreen, as the title scene did not even show the whole word "Hamlet". I can only imagine what else got cut off. Overall, it was decent. I'm rating it adequate.

Paul (2011)

A science fiction comedy directed by Greg Mottola, starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.
An alien on earth asks 2 nerds for a ride. They accept.
The plot and characters were superficial and 2 dimensional. The plot was predictable and the pace was as to be expected. There was absolutely nothing special about this and it blends into the backdrop of regular movies quite well. I'm rating it o.k. to satisfy it's need for mediocrity.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Magnolia (1999)

A drama by Paul Thomas Anderson, starring Tom Cruise.
3 intersecting plot lines are shown including a dying man, a pickup artist and a child on a quiz show.
This film was a little disjointed in the plot. The 3 stories flipped back and forth willy-nilly as they progressed. The characters were decent, but the pacing was strange. The overall production value was really good. I'm rating this adequate because it was strange enough, but not really. Watch it for details.

Dark Mission 1,2&3 (2010)

A documentary on Youtube.
The how-not and why-not are explained about NASA's Apollo moon missions.
This is a very in depth look at the evidence against moon landings. In the first film, the pictures and videos are closely scrutinized by experts including the man who owns the company that made the cameras. During the second film, the dangers of going into outer space are discussed as well as whether the spaceships were protected from these dangers. The third film discusses whether the rockets used could get the teams to the moon and back.
Knowing that the government would lie for fun if they didn't even have a reason and knowing that NASA is closely tied to the government, I am already biased. Once I finished viewing this film, there was no doubt in my mind about the moon missions. Man has never visited the moon. It's a FACT!
In conclusion, I'm rating these films awesome. You will have to excuse the absence of a picture and accept links instead.

Meet Joe Black (1998)

A romance directed by Martin Brest, starring Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins.
A billionaire's company is considering a merger lead by his daughter's boyfriend. The daughter meets a man she likes in a coffee shop, but he is hit by a car shortly afterward. Death comes to the billionaire in the body of this man and makes a deal with him. The billionaire gets more time to live if he shows death around his life. Soon the daughter falls in love with death because he is in the body of the man from the coffee shop.
I may have appreciated this film a little more if it hadn't taken 3 DAYS to watch it. I would start it up, get called away, come back to it, find my place and get called away again. This morning at 10AM, I started watching it from about the middle and I'm writing this almost 12 hours later. From what I saw, it really wasn't the type of thing that I would want to watch anyway. Apparently, the most exciting part was Brad Pitt getting hit by a car (or few). I'm rating it bad.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Leaving Las Vegas (1995)

A romance directed by Mike Figgis, starring Nicolas Cage.
A man loses his job and moves to Las Vegas, intent on drinking himself to death. There he meets a hooker and the two fall in love. They both refuse to change their lifestyle to suit the needs of the other.
Mr. cage really pretends to pound it down! I'm reminded of a certain swimming pool scene from The Decline of Western Civilization Part 2: The Metal Years. His character makes a quote of about 4 weeks to accomplish his task, but at the rate he is shown going, I think he estimated a little high. One would probably die of dehydration pretty quickly following this example, I'd say a week or 2 at most. Also, imagine the fun that you could have for $250 a day in Las Vegas for 4 weeks if you didn't behave quite as badly as an '80s metal band. Anyway, I liked the film and thought the plot and characters were good. I didn't like the ending, but that could be said for a few hundred other movies. The style and production value were on the good side and the pacing was right. I'm rating this good. It would have gotten an even better rating with a different ending.

Kalifornia (1993)

A thriller directed by Dominic Sena, starring Brad Pitt.
A couple go on a road trip to California, stopping to document famous places notable for the murders that happened there. They pick up another couple to help fund the trip, not knowing that the man is a murderer himself.
I got about 45 minutes into this and had to stop it because of the characters. Brad Pitt playing a redneck is pretty annoying and his girlfriend was even more annoying. I can't say much about the rest of the film, but I'm rating it shit because I had to turn it off.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

A crime film directed by Guy Ritchie, starring Jason Flemyng and Sting.
A group of small-time criminals round up enough money to play an expensive game of cards. The card player loses and they owe half a million dollars to a very dangerous man. Meanwhile, two other small-time criminals steal and sell an expensive set of guns that the main characters buy very cheaply. They rob their neighbors who have just robbed the local cannabis dealers, but then everything turns into a bloody (I know it's brittish, but I mean the red stuff) mess.
This film is notable for almost every aspect. The plot and characters are great, as the action and problems build as the film progresses. The style and production value are great and unique. The soundtrack features mainly rock and funk songs that go well with the parts of the film that they are in. I couldn't make it better myself. It gets a best rating. I'm not turning soft here, I just got some good flicks to watch.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Jacob's Ladder (1990)

A thriller directed by Adrian Lyne.
A soldier in Vietnam is with his group when they are attacked. They all freak out and he gets stabbed. He goes home after he is rescued and gets married and has kids. One of the kids dies and the wife kicks him out for some reason that isn't mentioned. He gets a new girlfriend and begins having mental problems.
This is one of the films mentioned when people talk about good movies. I believe that the reason is all about the style and pacing. It's got this really unique "flavor" to it. The characters and plot are good and the ending is a surprise. I'm rating this awesome for being different.

Jumanji (1995)

A fantasy directed by Joe Johnston, starring Robin Williams and Kirsten Dunst.
A boy finds a magic board game and plays it with a girl he knows. The game causes jungle things to pop into existence in the area that it is played in. The boy gets sucked into the board game and the girl runs away. 26 years later, a brother and sister pick up the same game and start to play. They release the boy (now a man) from the game and retrieve the girl (now a woman) who played it with him in order to finish the game.
Robin Williams is cool. It's a fact. The plot and characters were good. The style had a little too much CG for my tastes, but the pacing was right. I remember watching this film when it came out and liking it. I'm rating it good.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Beowulf (1999)

A fantasy directed by Graham Baker, starring Christopher Lambert.
A hero arrives at a castle besieged by a monster. He fights the monster and cuts off it's arm. Everyone celebrates until the monster comes back. The hero then kills the monster and it's mother.
This should have been called "Flipowulf vs. Pretendel". The hero does flip after flip, aided by some kung fu wire and the monster has this stupid video effect on it all the time. While this is happening, techno-rave music is playing ever so cheesily. That just about explains the film, so I'm rating it o.k.

I Shot Andy Warhol (1996)

A drama directed by Mary Harron.
A crazy, homeless, lesbian revolutionary writes a manifesto and then shoots Andy Warhol.
The plot and characters were alright, but the style left much to be desired. They chose a good woman to play the main character. The pacing was a little slow, but still alright. I'm rating this adequate.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

First Knight (1995)

A romantic action film directed by Jerry Zucker, starring Sean Connery and Richard Gere.
The story of Lancelot and Guinevere is told on screen, innacurately.
This film deviated so far from The Once and Future King that it should be banned, but isn't that what movies always do? Arthur doesn't directly witness anything of the relationship between the two ever. Also, I don't remember Guinevere getting put in an oubliette. Lancelot was chased by another woman who had his kid after he saved and fucked her, but I didn't see any of that. In fact, I didn't see much of Lancelot's honorable deeds at all. I have to rate this bad for being totally false. The only thing I liked was Sean Connery as Arthur, but even that was wrong. Sean was way too old to be Arthur when Lancelot joined the round table.

Dragon Hunters (2008)

An animated fantasy directed by Guillaume Ivernel and Arthur Qwak.
A pair of dragon hunters meet a runaway princess who is obsessed with fairytales. They go to the princess's uncle's castle where he tells them of the world gobbler dragon and sends them on a quest to defeat it.
I usually don't go for CG flicks, but this one is kind of cool. It's not Pixar, which is cool too. The plot and characters are good and the style seems like it was designed to be made into a video game. I may not have been paying attention, but of all the dragons that get defeated, I only saw the fate of one. I'm rating this good because the dragons were cool.