Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)

A science fiction directed by Jimmy T. Murakami.
A defenseless planet that is under threat of invasion by an infamous tyrant sends a young man to seek out mercenaries for their defense.
The audio and video show their age.
check out: Those awesome laser sound effects.
This was like a really crappy, cheesy, fake Star Wars. It's not quite as bad as Ben-Hur or Some Kind of Monster, but still not a good idea to watch. It does have a little bit of 1980s charm to it and I really liked Saint-Exmin, the Valkyrie (for 2 obvious reasons).

2010: The Year We Make Contact (1984)

A science fiction directed by Peter Hyams.
A space team is sent to investigate the abandoned ship from 2001: Space Odyssey and a monolith nearby.
The audio and video were good. The Russian sections had no subtitles.
The idea of alien contact is really cool, but what would be even cooler is to actually SEE the aliens. They were not depicted in this film. It was also much less dramatic and magical than the 2001 film. I'm going with a rating of o.k. because I didn't dislike it enough to call it bad.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Book and Sword (2002)

A kung fu direced by Daniel Li.
A rebel group tries to overthrow the government.
The audio was in Chinese and English subtitles were provided. The video was very good.
check out: A "Manchurian candidate" literally.
The action was good and they didn't skimp on the Hong Kong wire, but the plot was ultra boring and it didn't even conclude. I'm giving it an o.k. rating because it was a very pretty waste of time.

Cradle of Filth - Temptation (2006)

A music video of a cover of a "Heaven 17" song.
The band plays while the lead vocalist tries to seduce a woman.
I rarely review music videos, but this one was so bad that I couldn't help myself. Bad music and Hollywood bullshit filming techniques ensure a failure here. watch it if you want to see what happens when a band "sells out".

Monday, June 28, 2010

Gothika (2003)

A psychological thriller directed by Mathieu Kassovitz.
A psychologist is put in the asylum where she works when she becomes the prime suspect in the murder of her husband who is the boss there.
check out: Miranda'sevasion of the guards. She seems to have trained with the Navy Seals.
This movie shows why it's better to watch films BY insane people than ABOUT them. It's very much mainstream Hollywood bullshit and you can tell by the camera work. I just fail to see any value in this type of thing.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Jacket (2005)

A psychological thriller directed by John Maybury.
A man suspected of killing a cop is put in a sanitarium where he receives drugs that make him travel into the future.
check out: I couldn't help but think "let's do the time warp agaaaaaaain"
Mental home movies are some of my favorites. The characters and plot were worthwhile, so I'm saying good. I'm also wishing for the drugs, drawer and straight jacket.

Snake and Crane Arts of Shaolin (1978)

A kung fu directed by Chen Chi Hwa, starring Jackie Chan.
Many clans are in pursuit of a man who supposedly has a powerful book of martial arts.
The audio and video were horrible.
This is just another kung fu flick from a time when they were being mass produced. It's probably best to avoid this one.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Midnight Express (1978)

A drama directed by Alan Parker.
A man is caught trying to smuggle hashish out of Istanbul and sentenced to prison there. After much torture and insanity, he is moved to the prison's sanitarium.
The audio was bad and much of it was in Turkish with no subtitles. The video was good.
This movie was so awesomely crazy. The plot was intense and the characters were very believable. If you like wild movies like I do, you'll like this one too. DEFINITELY recommended.

Thank You for Smoking (2005)

A comedy directed by Jason Reitman.
A tobacco lobbyist does his job and has a fling with a journalist who he is cautioned against by his friends.
The audio and video were good.
check out: The "mod" squad (merchants of death).
The main character was clever and the plot kept me interested. I liked it, but it's hard to put into words. It's a movie that you have to see to understand.

Friday, June 25, 2010

House on Haunted Hill (1999)

A remake of the 1959 horror directed by William Malone.
A group of strangers is challenged to stay in a haunted house all night to win money.
The audio had some annoying music and the video was a little dark.
Same shit, different day. I wish I had never watched it. Apparently, there's a huge market for shitty and unoriginal horror films, otherwise there wouldn't be so many of them. While I was looking for an image, I saw pictures from the 1959 version and they looked BETTER than this one.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Klunkerz (2006)

A documentary directed by Billy Savage.
This film follows the development of mountain bikes from custom assembled franken-bikes to mass produced bikes manufactured for downhill and off-road purposes.
The audio and video were both great.
For people who like bicycles, this is a great film. It's presented very well and features the real people who were actually involved in this sport.

Awakenings (1990)

A drama directed by Penny Marshall.
Robin Williams is a doctor in a mental institution who treats patients with a drug that makes them "wake up" for a short time.
The audio and video were good.
check out: The combination of Robin Williams and Robert De Niro. A little weird.
Mental patients get well, they get sick again. It's nothing new. It doesn't stand out from the crowd in any way. I'm rating it o.k. Some people say it's good, but I hold my blog to higher standards than that.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Kunoichi Lady Ninja (2000)

A kung fu by an unknown director. Seriously, I couldn't find that information.
Nuns at a convent are threatened by a gang of samurai and have to awaken their hidden ninja powers.
The video was terrible, but the audio featured some great Japanese power metal during the credits.
check out: The ninja skills based on female anatomy.
You want blood spray? Got it!
Cheesy special effects? Got it!
Good fight scenes? You'll have to look somewhere else for that one...
This is a little bit like "BMX Bandits" in that if the special interest section of the film wasn't so damn good, it would get a shitty review. For those who like cheesy kung fu and "Shogun Assassin" (not saying that's cheesy by the way), definitely worth watching, but not quite good.

BMX Bandits (1983)

An action film directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith.
A group of BMX riders finds walkie-talkies hidden by bank robbers. They sell some to repair their bicycles and are chased by the criminals for the remaining ones, which they use to communicate to catch the robbers.
The audio and video show their age.
check out: I don't think Nicole Kidman can do THAT!
For BMX nostalgia, it doesn't get much better than this. They've got all the 80s paraphernalia like mags and pad-sets (the same color as their mags). Some of the stunts were good, but most of them show their age like this film. Did I mention that the plot sucks? I'm rating it o.k. because of the BMX bikes.

Asylum (2008)

A horror directed by David R. Ellis.
College students move into a dorm that was converted from a haunted mental institution and begin disappearing.
The audio and video were both very bad. The picture is one of the brighter shots in this film and most of the speech was whispered so quietly that I didn't catch it.
This is a film that Wikipedia agrees with me about. Some choice quotes are "unoriginal" and "there's no intelligence shown". I don't know why you would... but if you like shitty horror flicks that are just like every other shitty horror flick, this is the movie for you!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Girl, Interrupted (1999)

A drama directed by James Mangold.
A suicidal girl is committed to a mental asylum where she gets involved in the lives of the other inmates.
The audio and video were good.
check out: Like all mental hospital films, all the inmates smoke. Is this the case in real life, or just movies?
This would have been really great if the main character didn't drive herself sane. I mean, can't we have a movie that's all crazy people being insane the whole time? Winona Ryder is pretty cool and I like crazy people (being one myself), so I reluctantly give this a good rating. I'm not turning soft here, it's just that I got a good batch of movies.

Shaolin Martial Arts (1974)

Kung fu directed by Chang Cheh.
Disciples of Shaolin martial arts schools are defeated and dishonored. 2 waves of students leave to train with great masters in hopes of defeating the hired experts of Qing school.
The audio was in Chinese with English subtitles. The video was good.
check out: Did this film inspire "Kill Bill" a little bit?
I like kung fu training movies. I especially like when they talk about and practice the animal styles. Add some similarities to "Kill Bill" and we've got a winner. Great fu flick.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Drop Dead Fred (1991)

A fantasy directed by Ate De Jong.
A young woman with an imaginary friend struggles to regain her life.
The audio and video were good.
check out: The mega-bitch, dog poo and mud pies.
This is a classic movie by my definition. Fred is punk as fuck and his girl is attractive. If you like the cheesy classics, you'll like this as much as I do.

FUBAR (2002)

A mockumentary directed by Michael Dowse.
One of two lifelong friends learns that he has testicular cancer. The film shows some time before treatment and some after.
The audio and video were good. I especially liked the addition of Iron Maiden to the soundtrack.
check out: This guy looks like Rob Halford (Judas Priest) when he's bald. It might just be that leather jacket.
I thought this was pretty cool even though it reminded me of "nothing-master" friends of the past. The characters are the best part. I'm giving it a good rating for being fake, but about people who act very real.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Fast, Cheap and Out of Control (1997)

A documentary directed by Errol Morris.
Experts in the fields of robotics, topiary sculpture, lion training and naked mole rats reflect on their professions.
The video was awesome, but some of the music got on my nerves a little.
check out: The big, floppy elephant pussy.
This was on the good end of o.k.. I liked hearing about the weird subject matter, but some of the experts were talking during video from someone else's job. It was generally interesting, but somehow the pace of it got dull as it wore on. If you just want a novelty movie about weird stuff, this is probably your best bet.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Party Monster (2003)

A drama directed by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato.
A bi-sexual "club kid" and his friends have fun getting into trouble.
The audio and video were very good.
Check out: That's Macaulay Culkin! AAAAAAHHH!!!! (home alone)
Alright, I said that gay movies have to be "out of the closet" (which this is) and drug movies are fine. So, if you add a child star out of his "family film" element and a Marilyn Manson cameo, It's not going to be boring. I'm rating this good just for being that weird.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)

A western directed by George Roy Hill.
A pair of outlaws in the old west get into trouble and decide to go to Boliva where they get into more trouble.
The audio was o.k. the video was good.
This is a classic movie and I thought it was o.k. The bicycle scene was cool and the segue "old photos" parts fit very well. There was enough action, but it didn't go that extra step that would have made it a good movie.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Year of Living Dangerously (1982)

A drama directed by Peter Weir.
A news reporter is covering stories in Indonesia right before the overthrow of the government. He falls in love with a woman who knows his dwarven photographer.
The audio and video were good and subtitles were provided.
check out: The dwarven photographer is an ACTRESS portraying a male role.
This wasn't too shabby. Sigourney Weaver is young and beautiful, there's plenty of plot to go around and they don't get too caught up in the military/political stuff. I'm going to have to say it's good.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Death and the Maiden (1994)

A thriller directed by Roman Polanski.
A woman who was tortured finds that her husband has invited her tormentor into their house. She takes off and when the men fall asleep, she comes back and begins interrogating the guest.
The audio and video were good.
This whole film takes place over the course of 1 night and it accumulates back-story as it goes. Also, we are forced to question the back-story that develops due to the woman's mental condition. For a good plot and Sigourney Weaver in a strong role, I give this a good rating.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Copycat (1995)

A psychological thriller directed by Jon Amiel.
Sigourney Weaver is a criminal psychologist who develops agoraphobia after she is attacked at a convention. A year later, a serial killer begins to copy the murders of his fore-runners and Sigourney is supposed to help solve the case.
The audio and video were good.
check out: I know where Michael Jackson got the inspiration for his nose job. (picture)
I think I might have seen this before... no, wait! That was the slew of other movies that are JUST LIKE this one. I didn't hate it, but you don't earn a good rating by blending in with the crowd.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Ratcatcher (1999)

A drama directed by Lynne Ramsay.
In a poor neighborhood, a boy's friend drowns in the sewer.
The video was good, but the audio was terrible and the accents were so thick that I needed subtitles. None were available.
I gave this film about 15 minutes and by that time I figured out that I wouldn't understand any plot that existed. Turns out (according to wikipedia), that I already saw the whole plot in that short time. Not a good movie for those who can only understand one version of English.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

The Piano Teacher (2001)

A drama directed by Michael Haneke.
A piano teacher with a penchant for pain has an affair with her male student.
The audio was in French with subtitles in English. The video was good.
check out: All the sex scenes.
This movie is fucked up. That's why I love it so! The piano teacher wants to have her student do some sick sexual stuff to her, but vomits when he cums in her mouth. The scene where she molests her mother is unforgettable. If you're looking for seriously effed up films, this is one to check out. With my strange tastes, it scores high.

The Ice Storm (1997)

A drama directed by Ang Lee.
A small town experiences weather as turbulent as their relationships.
The audio was good. The video was very dark.
check out: Romantic interests are traded like playing cards!
This is one of those movies that's supposed to be "so good", but I just didn't get it. They treat time sequence of events like it doesn't matter. I like the "key party" idea though. I'm going to have to rate this bad for plot and continuity reasons.

The Man Without a Past (2002)

A drama directed by Aki Kaurismaki.
A man is hit on the head by thieves and forgets who he is. He tries to make a new life for himself in a very poor area.
The audio was in Finnish with English subtitles and the video was good.
check out: The band.
I thought this was alright. It had a good plot and characters. There just wasn't anything wild that stood out and made me notice it.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

THX 1138 (1971)

A science fiction directed by George Lucas.
In the future, a man realizes that society is really fucked up and tries to run away.
The audio was strange and the video was good.
check out: How close the world is coming to the state depicted in this film.
This is one of those movies that new world order buffs get all up in arms about. The dystopian future features mandatory sedation through drugs and an overly compartmentalized and controlling government. If you want to see how things will be very soon if we don't stop the illuminati, watch this.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Gorillas in the Mist (1988)

A drama directed by Michael Apted.
Sigourney Weaver plays Diane Fossey, a woman studying gorillas and trying to protect them from poachers.
The audio was good. The video was a little dark.
check out: Playing into the part of the witch.
The plot is pretty good and there are lots of scenes of natural beauty. Add Sigourney Weaver, and you've got a good movie. It's not a tough concept to grasp.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

About Schmidt (2002)

A drama directed by Alexander Payne.
A man retires from his job and shortly after, his wife dies. He then goes on a road trip to watch his daughter marry a man that he does not approve of.
The audio and video were good.
check out: Jack turns down the BBW.
I guess the point of this movie is to watch Mr. Nicholson endure misery. I personally like Jack and would rather see him treat others poorly. It's not a bad way to spend 2 hours, but not anything fantastic.

24 Hour Party People (2002)

A drama directed by Michael Winterbottom.
An owner of a record label only signs the worst bands he can find and never makes any money doing so.
The audio included some of the worst music I have ever heard. The video was o.k.
check out: The meaning of "Joy Division".
This is one of the most pointless films I have ever seen. Shitty punk music changes to shitty dance music. I hated it. It's right there on the level with "Ben-Hur" and "Some Kind of Monster". Shit.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

What Time is it There? (2001)

A drama directed by Tsai Ming-Liang.
A watch vendor sells his own watch to a customer who is on her way to Paris, France. He is then hellbent on changing every clock he sees to Paris time. His father is dead and his mother is taking it badly.
The audio was mostly in Thai and subtitles were provided in English, but when the actors speak English, no subtitles appear. The video was good.
check out: It's always pee pee time in Hsiao Kang's bedroom.
This is one of those films that leaves me with a WTF? feeling. That's a good thing. Dialogue was almost non-existent and the story was fucked up anyway. I'm rating it o.k. because I've seen lots of movies that I didn't understand, but a few were much better than this.I know, I grade them tough.

eXistenZ (1999)

A psychological thriller directed by David Cronenberg.
People inside a game play a game in which they "port" into the game through their spinal cords. There are people who want to kill the makers of the game regardless of what level the game is on (like game inside a game inside a game type of level).
The audio and video were good.
check out: The sexual looking game pods and porting system. I guess this was inspiration for the male enhancement product called extenze.
This is nothing new to me. I'm used to the circular reasoning of one reality inside another. For a science fiction psychological thriller type of movie, it bends reality quite well and I like the little 2 headed amphibians. This is one of the o.k.s that could easily have been good, but it just didn't have that extra special something to make it unique.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

A fantasy by Dreamworks Animation.
A small viking who doesn't fit in finds an injured dragon and befriends it.
The audio and video were pretty good.
check out: cool CG dragons.
Watch this for the CG dragons, not the cheesy plot. It's a movie for kids, so if that's all you expect, you'll get it. Don't look for anything else. For a narrow and limited film, it gets o.k. just because I like animated dragons.
I'm actually posting concept art from this because it shows dragon designs not included in the movie.

Mr. Death: The Rise and Fall of Fred A. Leuchter, Jr. (1999)

A documentary produced and directed by Errol Morris.
Fred Leuchter was a engineer who was redesigning execution equipment in America. He was asked by revisionists to go to Germany and determine whether gas executions had been performed. He brought back negative results.
The audio and video were good.
check out: 6 packs of cigarettes and 40 cups of coffee a day?
This was a very well presented documentary. All sides of the story were sufficiently represented and the man in question was allowed to present his opinions. I'm rating it good because of how it was made and for controversial subject matter, not because of any belief or disbelief of the opinions presented.

No Country for Old Men (2007)

A western directed by Joel and Ethan Coen.
A man finds money at the site of a drug deal that has gone wrong. Another man travels the land with a steer killer air gun. The man with the gun wants 2 things: to kill people and the money. The man with the money wants to keep it and keep the air gunman from killing him and his wife.
The video was good, the audio was horrible.
check out: The brutal sidearm of the air gunman. First time I've seen a sawed off shotgun with a silencer.
Like all new movies, much of the plot was lost due to bad audio and the ending was inconclusive. It was, however, a very interesting waste of time. For this, I give it an o.k. rating.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Sweet November (2001)

A romance directed by Pat O'Connor.
A woman with some type of medical/drug problem takes in an advertising specialist for a month.
The audio was a little on the bad side (including but not limited to the shitty music), but the video was great.
check out: The locked cupboard!
Anyone who pays attention to the plot will think the ending was as shitty as I do. That being said, the whole movie becomes frivolous. I don't like romance movies anyway.

The Attic (2008)

A horror directed by Mary Lambert.
A girl with a retard brother lives in a haunted house. After she falls out of the attic, a fake looking detective shows up to investigate.
The video was good, the audio was bad.
check out: Babycakes
I turned it off after 17 minutes. I just couldn't take it anymore. The retard brother and fake detective were just too much for me.

Monday, June 7, 2010

My Rating System (2010)

A documentary directed by...

I'm just fucking with you! There have been some misunderstandings about my rating system and I want to clear up any questions that may have developed.

AN GOOD: Some films are just so great that good doesn't apply to them anymore. I use colors like purple or white on the text. These are usually strange or crazy in some way and really stand out from the crowd as being (in my opinion) over-the-top cool. Please consider that my tastes are strange, so if you're saying "what's so great about that?" then you probably see the film from a different perspective than I do.

: These are just plain good movies. I use green text. They took that extra bit of effort and didn't just blend in with the o.k.s.

: This is (sadly) where the bulk of movies land. I'm not saying it's bad. I know lots of your favorite movies are in here, but that's what this is for: normality. If it didn't catch me by the nads and make me notice it, this is where it ended up. These movies are fine, so don't get me wrong when I put a film in yellow print.

: This is the trashcan. I use red text. These movies stood out in a bad way. Maybe they were too boring, maybe they were annoying, maybe they were Hollywood bullshit. Just remember, you can platinum-plate Steven Spielburg's feces, but it's still shit to me. Again, I know some of your favorite movies are in here. Maybe if you had watched what I've watched, you would understand why.

ER: I classify into other categories sometimes and use text colors to match. If you read the review, it will explain why I do this.

I use this rating system because it's MY movie blog with MY opinion written into it. If YOU don't agree with me and want to place a complaint, the comments are open to ANYONE. No membership or login is needed, just click the comments link and tell me what you think. I'm VERY interested in what you think of my blog, the movies I watch and my reviewing process. This is why the comments are open! There is even a poll on the side with only 2 answers (you like my blog or don't like my blog), so PLEASE give me feedback and tell me what you think.

Nursery University (2008)

A documentary directed by Marc H. Simon.
This film follows a few families questing for acceptance of their children into nursery schools in New York city where the process for getting a child into one of these establishments is extremely difficult.
The audio had a little annoying music, but was good quality otherwise. Surprisingly, the amount of children screaming or crying was minimal. The video was good.
The uber-rich family is accepted by every school while some other families opt for different school format or to leave the area due to the process. Most of the film was parents narrating their anxiety about whether their child will be accepted. I'm saying it's o.k. because it didn't stand out to me. It's just another doc about some precise topic.

Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

A science fiction directed by Robert Longo.
Keanu Reeves is an information smuggler who puts too much data in his implant. Problems occur after he loads his brain with twice as much data as it can hold and when he gets to the city where he was supposed to go, he is forced to seek "alternative medicine" from black market doctors.
The audio and video were alright.
check out: The Chinese people at the upload site select key images from "Demon City Shinjuku", but the images on the slip of paper are clearly not from that anime. Also, "I want room service! Mexican beers! 10,000 dollar a night hookers!"
It was alright, I guess. The inferior CG looks closer to 1985 from the 2010 point of view. Also dating the movie is the low amount of memory in Keanu's brain (pun intended). 160GB is not all that much. I also don't see how they can exceed the memory limit, because when I try to do that with a storage device, it just stops and what doesn't fit stays where it was. They must be running something better than Windows XP. If you like cheesy science fiction, you might like this.

The Gift (2000)

A mystery directed by Sam Raimi.
Police and a woman with psychic abilities investigate a murder in a small town.
The audio and video were good.
check out: Keanu Reeves as a villain again.
For fuck's sake, how many times do we need to see psychics and police investigating murders? If it's not in a small town in the country, then they're in a large city like New York. For a plot that's staler than gum on the bottom of a bus seat, this film gets a horrid review.

The Thief and the Cobbler (1995)

An animated feature film by Richard Williams.
A cobbler from the "golden city" fixes the princess' shoes and is sent on a mission to find a way to stop the invading army and restore the 3 golden balls to the top of a tower.
The audio was o.k. and the video was about 3/4ths finished. Some of the scenes deteriorated into pencil drawings.
check out: Animated Rube Goldberg machines.
I really like animation, so this was great for me. I didn't mind the incomplete sections at all. A lot of it was actually visually stunning and seemed like something I should have watched about 10 years ago when I would have been in a condition to appreciate it better. Obviously, I'm rating it good, but it's not for those who like the platinum plated shite of Hollywood.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Lake House (2006)

A romantic fantasy directed by Alejandro Agresti.
A man and woman begin writing letters to one another, not knowing that the woman lives 2 years in the future and when the man sees her in his time, she has yet to meet him through the mail.
The audio and video were top quality.
check out: The setup for the ending that changes.
This is one of the few romantic movies that I can tolerate. The premise is good enough that I care less about the romance part of it. It's also part of the Keanu Reeves binge that's happening now. I don't know what drove me to it, but the results are very mixed: Some good, some alright, and some real shit. I'm calling this good because I liked it even though it's from a genre that I don't usually care for.

The Watcher (2000)

A crime drama directed by Joe Charbanic.
A serial killer who dispatches young women with piano string is followed by "Captain Barbituate", the detective. The killer sends a picture of his next victim to the detective and the whole police force organizes to find her before 9pm.
The audio and video were good.
check out: Keanu Reeves playing a villain.
This is the same old cops and criminals story. It's like they have a form for creating these things. I'm saying o.k. because I liked seeing Keanu as the bad guy. His dancing, however, is sub-par.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Little Buddha (1994)

A drama directed by Bernardo Bertolucci.
An American boy is contacted by Buddhist monks trying to find the reincarnation of their teacher. He goes with them to their temple along with 2 other candidates.
The audio was amazingly good. The video was good too.
check out: A white Buddha?
This was boring and uninteresting all the way through. It takes a lot more to get a good rating on this blog, but it didn't absolutely suck either. O.k.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

A remake directed by Scott Derrickson.
An alien comes to earth to "destroy all humans" and is greeted by the military. He escapes and is befriended by a female scientist.
The audio and video were good.
check out: This is really how humans would greet an alien visitor, isn't it?
Remaking a science fiction movie and upgrading special effects is a questionable issue. Keanu Reeves is good, but in a lot of bad movies. I'm saying it's o.k. because there isn't enough evidence to call it bad.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Private Lives of Pippa Lee (2009)

A drama directed by Rebecca Miller.
A dysfunctional family has problems.
The video was good, but the audio was a fucking disaster.
check out: Keanu Reeves' tattoo.
I got 35 minutes into this and turned it off because I couldn't hear the plot and there were no subtitles to inform me of what was going on. What plot I did hear was lame and boring. I feel this may have something to do with the female director. Don't watch this movie.

Something's Gotta Give (2003)

A romantic comedy written, produced and directed by Nancy Meyers.
Relationships are shuffled like cards when Jack Nicholson has a heart attack at his girlfriend's mother's house. While they are at the hospital, Dr, Keanu Reeves falls for the mother and when Jack has to stay with the mother, They get into a serious relationship as well.
The audio and video were good quality.
check out: The butch-dyke sister.
At the 1 hour mark, I had had just about enough of this and even thought that it was ending... Until I looked at the timer. There was another hour left! I finally turned it off after the mother had been crying for quite some time and showed no signs of stopping. This is what we call a "chick-flick". That means that people of the male persuasion (like myself) would rather gargle broken glass than watch it. I don't know what "gives" in the movie, but I know what it gets... A brutally shitty review!