Tuesday, May 31, 2011
A drama directed by Iain Softley, starring Angelina Jolie.
A group of computer hackers learn of a secret government plan and have to expose it before the government catches them.
Due to advances in technology, most of the plot seems pretty silly these days. Hence, the characters sound stupid: "A virus AND a worm?". Some of the "inside the computer/internet" scenes are way too advanced for computers of that time, leading me to believe that the characters have dyslexia, which would explain the psychedelic movements of things that I know would look like DOS. I gather that this film was supposed to be popular with young people of the time period, as it was clearly made with a very narrow target audience in mind. It's not even all that interesting, so I rate it poor.
A biography directed by Michael Christofer, starring Angelina Jolie and Faye Dunaway.
This film follows a fashion model's career.
The model rises from waitress to extra to star and her drug addiction follows this curve. But that's what makes the movie interesting. The characters were unidentifiable and the plot was a little mixed up. I'm rating this adequate because the main character's problems redeem it from a poor rating.
Monday, May 30, 2011
An adventure directed by Franco Amurri, starring Dennis Hopper and Kiefer Sutherland.
An FBI agent is charged with transporting a criminal to another facility far away. While they are on the train, the criminal gets the FBI agent drunk and switches identities with him. This leads to problems for both men.
The hippy element of this film was cool, but the rest of it was not. The hippy/criminal shaves off his beard when switching identities and loses that persona. Obviously the government guys are going to be corrupt because that's what they do! I'm rating this adequate for meeting my expectations exactly.
A mockumentary by Rusty Cundieff.
A film maker follows the career of a rap group.
I usually don't like rap or comedy, but this was funny. They played into all of the rap stereotypes like having guns, their views on women, censorship, etc... They didn't act like it was supposed to be funny, but knowing a little background information makes it very funny. I'm rating this good.
A science fiction directed by Geoff Murphy, starring Emilio Estevez and Mick Jagger.
A man is teleported out of his crashing race car and 18 years into the future. He escapes custody when his captors try to lobotomize him and becomes a wanted man. He tracks down a friend who knows where his girlfriend is. She is in the upper management of a giant corporation.
It's interesting to see the past's idea of a future that is now the past. They got the corporation that "owns everything" right and the rich-poor separation, but the cars were a little comical. Another thing they got right is the total police state. Anyway, the characters and plot were crap for the first 3/4ths of the film, then this psychedelic CG took over and when the characters came back, they started doing things that made sense. The style had the same timeline, but the pacing was the opposite. I'm rating this o.k. (I'm getting a lot of those these days). I read a quick article on someone's website who was reviewing the future predictions, but I wouldn't recommend that you do the same. Not worth your time or mine.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
A comedy by Tommy Chong.
The plot is a mess.
Given that the plot is a mess, I actually got the comedy elements of this film! I guess the nature of the humor helped me to understand it. The pacing was really quick and the style was a little on the shitty side. I'm rating this o.k. Just because I get the jokes doesn't mean I like it.
A comedy directed by Harold Ramis, starring Bill Murray.
A news reporter lives the same day over and over.
The premise was cool, but everything else turned out to be mediocre. It may be that I just don't get comedies. Whatever the reason, I'm rating this o.k.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
An art film by Theo Angelopoulos.
A man is "going away" on the next day and tries to get his affairs in order. He picks up a young street-punk who follows him.
The plot was very murky, but the characters were identifiable. The style loked like an older film, but the pacing was alright. I'm rating this o.k.
A comedy drama directed by Terry Gilliam, starring Robin Williams.
A radio host takes a call from a disturbed man and encourages him to acts of violence. When the disturbed man goes into a restaurant with a gun, a teacher's wife is killed. The teacher goes crazy and the radio host loses his job. Being depressed with his life, the radio host prepares to kill himself, but is interrupted by men who want to burn him. He is saved by the teacher, who is now homeless and on a quest for the holy grail. The radio host believes that if he can help the teacher, his life will get better too.
Robin Williams has a great role in this film. Being crazy is what he does best. The plot and characters were good and it was made in a "goldylocks zone" of style and production value. There's not much else to say so I'm rating it good.
Friday, May 27, 2011
A comedy horror directed by Peter Jackson, starring Michael J. Fox.
A man who can communicate with ghosts sends his ghost friends into people's houses so that he can banish them and make money. Then a real ghost shows up and starts killing people just for fun. The con-man has to catch and kill the evil spirit.
About the only time when I like comedy or horror is when they are together like in this or Freddy's Dead. The characters and plot were good. There was some style and the pacing was quick. The production and entertainment values were there too. I'm rating this adequate because it was cool, but didn't go that extra mile.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
An adventure directed by Roger Corman, written by Jack Nicholson, starring Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper.
A man takes LSD at a friend's house. When he thinks he sees the friend dead, he flees and wanders around the city.
This is one of the better drug films that I've seen, as it doesn't fall into the category of "stoned idiot comedy". It also avoids the "cocaine gangster" genre. The visual effects are pretty impressive for the '60s, but still have the style of the times. I'm rating this awesome and the only reason I don't rate it best is that I'm not the main character.
A science fiction directed by Luc Besson, starring Bruce Willis and Chris Tucker.
A cab driver catches a "supreme being" that the government has regenerated when she falls into his cab. He delivers her to a priest and them wins a rigged contest for a vacation. The military people show up at his apartment and order him to go on the vacation as a mission then the priest and alien show up and order him to go. He goes on the vacation because 4 magic stones that will save the earth are at the destination.
Being a newer film with over the top production value and Bruce Willis, I should automatically hate this, but I actually enjoy watching it. The style is really good. There are many scenes that cut back and forth between action happening in 2 different locations that are timed perfectly to fit together. I'm rating this good for entertainment value.
A musical biography directed by Oliver Stone, starring Val Kilmer and Meg Ryan.
The life and career of Jim Morrison is shown.
This film should have been called Jim Morrison because the rest of the group seemed to be extras in their own movie. All of the music sounded like it could be the same song, which for over 2 hours is too much. Jim's "poetry" is not my favorite thing in the world either. The intoxicated ramblings of a hippy should not even be considered poetry. Considering the evidence, I think a bad rating is in order.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
A fantasy directed by Taylor Hackford, starring Keanu Revves, Al Pacino and Charlize Theron.
An unbelievably successful lawyer is hired by a New York law firm. While he is busy winning cases, his wife becomes mentally and Physically ill and his mother preaches to him about the evils of the city and money. Meanwhile, his boss is showing him all of the fun things that come with success.
Before I get into the deep stuff, I have to say that I can watch this movie a million times and still like it. That deserves some major credit. The style and characters make the film. Anyway, it brings up the Christian ideologies of god and satan and applies these to situations in our world. Besides the whole lot of it being a flat out lie, satan is shown winning. By the way, in google, when you don't capitalize god, nothing happens. When you forget to capitalize satan, google says it's misspelled. I rest my case about the company that had a motto of "don't be evil". IF you believe in this theology, satan does have some better ideas. In fact, I was a non-practicing satanist until I woke up to the new world order. The main thing that changed my mind was not wanting to follow the same religion as the (presidents) Bush family. Now that we understand the powers that control money and are behind the scenes in Hollywood, I'd like to say that this film has new world order written all over it... but I'm rating it best.
A mockumentary by Peter Jackson, starring Sam Neill.
Peter Jackson pretends (very convincingly) that he found a chest of old films in a friend's garage. The films supposedly show fantastic advances in film making happening way before their actual time as well as other epic events. Other famous people like Sam Neill are interviewed and the life of the fictitious film maker is explained like a biography.
This is the most convincing hoax I've ever seen. It blows the Blair Witch out of the water. The production value is good and the "old films" really look old. The interviews make it look like it's a real documentary about a real man. The actor playing the fictional man? Deagol from The Return of the King. These guys tricked me, and for that they get an awesome rating.
A drama directed by Albert Hughes and Allen Hughes.
A young black man goes to fight in Vietnam and when he comes back to America, he finds that things have changed for the worse.
This film will make even the most open minded people hate niggers. The problems that they are shown having just don't happen to white people. I had to turn it off after about an hour because I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm rating this shit (the color of their skin) and if you're white, don't watch it.
An animated fantasy directed by Bill Kroyer, starring Robin Williams, Christian Slater and Tim Curry.
A fairy lives in a rainforest and studies green magic. When humans come with machines to cut down the trees, they awaken an evil spirit that encourages them. The fairy shrinks one of the humans to her size and he visits her society. When the human's machine draws near in it's tree cutting duty, they fight it.
Avatar! This is where the plot came from. When I watched Avatar, I said "this is fern gully in CG!". The soundtrack was horrible, as it was mostly black people music performed by white people. I'm not racist, it's just that white people can't rap and black people sing the blues better. Let's face it, they invented that form of music so they must know how to do it the best. Overall, this was disappointing. I'm rating it poor because it's so '90s cheesy and I'm VERY surprised that it isn't made by Disney! If it was Disney, I would have hit the shite button.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
A mystery directed by Stanley Kubrick, starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
A doctor meets an old friend who lets him in on a secret to get into a club. He goes to the club and sees sex taking place everywhere, but is extremely unwelcome there. Afer he leaves, he tries to figure out what was going on and his attempts are met harshly by club members.
This film is very sexual in nature. It starts with a naked woman and ends in the word "fuck". As far as female breasts go, this is not too shabby. I didn't see the extra large variety that I prefer, but they were all shapely and there were no "mosquito bites". Real truth dudes always cite this as an example of secret societies, which it is... a little bit. There is a musical section when the man enters the club that sounds like it was backwards masked. I recorded it and reversed it, only to find that I couldn't understand what they were singing either way. In reverse it sounds like Jewish religious singing. I'm rating this good for being interesting and because Stanley Kubrick is awesome.
A drama by Tim Robbins, starring Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn.
A man is on death row because he killed teenagers and a nun is sent in to talk to him. They become friends and everyone outside the issue hates the nun for this and wants the death penalty for the killer.
I got about an hour into this and had to turn it off because the pace was too slow and it was too boring. I have a high tolerance for film quirks, so when I have to turn something off, it's really bad. Hence, I'm rating this shit.
A drama directed by Walter Hill, starring Ralph Macchio and Steve Vai.
A young guitarist helps an old blues man to break out of a nursing home and they go to Mississippi together on the premise that the old man will teach the boy a special song when they get there.
Most of this film was just mediocre '80s cheese, but the music was pretty good. There is a guitar duel in the end that I have my doubts about. In most of the shots it looks like the guys are actually playing, but there are some that looked a little sketchy. I looked it up, and apparently everything is supposed to be real. I still have doubts because of hearing shred, but not seeing fingers moving, although Steve Vai shouldn't have to cheat a solo. The outcome of the duel was OBVIOUSLY staged, as Ralph Macchio had just learned to play guitar for this film and Steve Vai was already famous. I'm rating this good.
A comedy directed by Terry Gilliam, starring Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro.
A writer goes to Las Vegas to cover a motorcycle race for a magazine. He brings his attorney and a suitcase full of drugs. Obviously, the motorcycle race becomes irrelevant.
Any time that I watch this film, it always makes me lust after stronger mind-altering chemicals. I see the men on screen enjoying things that I've never tasted and I want to experience those things. The style is great, as are the plot and characters. I can't lie to myself. I have to rate this awesome.
Monday, May 23, 2011
A science fiction directed by Tim Burton, starring Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder.
An inventor makes a man from scratch, but dies before completing his work. The man ends up with scissors for hands and a door to door sales-woman finds him. She takes him home and tries to indoctrinate him into "normal" society.
Let me begin by saying that this is one of my favorite films because of entertainment value. There are some quirks that I would like to point out. There is the idea of the anthropomorphizing machines and mechanizing humans. This is part of the new world order scam that's being pulled on us at every opportunity. They (the illuminati) want to put computer parts into human bodies to track us and control us. Stand by and watch and it will be so. Take action (like not buying into their crap and boycotting their companies) and we may have a chance of staying human. The location of the mountain with mansion on top is totally unbelievable because of it's proximity to the housing track. When the police are chasing Edward, they drive extremely slow, as if they did not mean to catch him, but to chase him away. This may be the case, as the cop says that he is worried about Edward and seems sympathetic to his problems. I do find that the pastel houses, clothes and cars were used in good taste to contrast the creepy mansion and leather-clad anti-hero. I will conclude by rating this good.
A science fiction directed by Anthony M. Dawson.
A man travels around a primitive land, saving people he meets by using violence. He then brings 2 of his friends with him to a feared island where a futuristic civilization is run by a fascist leader.
This has got to be some of the worst '80s cheese ever created. I kept having to remind myself it's "Yor", not "you're" the hunter from the future. All of the other characters had equally ludicrous names. The style and production value were terrible, but the plot was alright. I'm rating this poor for low quality.
A romance by Prince.
A man tries to leech money out of a soon to be rich woman, but falls in love with her in the process.
This was a little better than Purple Rain. It was all shot in black and white, but the production value was pretty good. The plot and characters were not up to my standards and neither were the style and pacing. I'm rating it poor because it was better than Purple Rain.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
A fantasy directed by John Carl Buechler, starring Sonny Bono.
A family moves into a new apartment building and immediately the daughter is possessed by a troll. The son makes friends with an old troll fighter and you can guess the plot from there.
The plot and characters were great and the special effects were cheesy. Full Moon is awesome. Now for some trivia: The father's (and son's) names are Harry Potter. The writers say that J. K. Rowling stole that name from them. There is a musical number or 2 involving trolls and a singing mushroom that are worth checking out. I'm rating this awesome for obvious reasons. Watch it!
A science fiction directed by Charles Band.
In the future, a police detective hunts zombies. He is sent to the past to kill a man who makes zombies (who is also from the future) and save another man (yeah, future too).
There are 6 films in this series, but I was unable to obtain the rest. It looks very Full Moonish because the production value is low, but the plot and characters are good. The style was somewhat lacking, but for mid '80s Full Moon, that is to be expected. The pacing was quick and kept my attention. I'm rating this good just because I like the Full Moon company.
A comedy directed by Joel and Ethan Coen, starring John Goodman and Steve Buscemi.
Nihilists who work for a pornography director abuse an unemployed man. He thinks that they meant to abuse a rich man with the same name, so he talks to the rich man. He ends up playing detective to figure out who is lying and who he can trust.
Like all comedies, I didn't kind this very funny. I like the main character's choice of drinks (white Russian) though. The style was good and the plot and characters were decent. I'm rating it adequate.
A drama directed by Nicholas Hytner, starring Winona Ryder.
Witches are presumably discovered in colonial America.
The plot got very jumbled and all of the characters seemed the same. The style and pace were a little off as well. I'm rating this poor just because it wasn't done as well as it could have been done.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
A fantasy directed by Andrew Fleming, starring Fairuza Balk.
A girl moves to a new town and becomes the fourth member of a coven of witches. They gain witch-power together, but then things go wrong.
This is a chick flick, but I like it anyway. An odd coincidence that I noticed was Fairuza talking about the power of serpents and "the craft" being a slang term for freemasonry. If you follow said subjects, they are closely intertwined. Their "god", Menon's name sounds very similar to the pronunciation of the french word "maintenant", meaning "now". An eerier coincidence than the serpent-craft one, considering that the characters are shown in French class. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. The style, plot and characters fit together very well and the pacing was good too. The soundtrack was horrible: alternative rock! I'm rating this good because I like it for entertainment value and because of the occult subjects it brings up.
A drama directed by Alan Parker.
A young man in Dublin, Ireland decides that he wants to manage a band and gathers musicians. They learn soul songs, play shows and the trumpet player has sex with the chorus section. Everyone then turns against each other and the whole thing falls apart.
I could see this happening in larger groups. I've only been in 3-5 person bands and in that setting, there's always one asshole who has to spoil it for everyone else (yeah, I've been that guy.). The soundtrack was like listening to one song through the whole film. I liked the style (of the film) and the best part was the manager interviewing himself repeatedly. The plot and characters were decent. I'm rating it adequate.
Friday, May 20, 2011
A drama directed by Lasse Hallstrom, starring Charlize Theron.
A doctor at an orphanage teaches one of the boys everything he knows. When the boy grows up, he leaves with an abortion patient and her boyfriend and ends up working at an apple farm. The boyfriend gets called away to war and the orphan becomes romantically involved with the ex-patient. The doctor wants the boy to take his place at the orphanage and even gos to the trouble of falsifying documents.
The style and production value of this film were great. I personally didn't like the plot or characters, but would say that they are not bad. My main issue with the plot is that the namesake rules of the cider house are only discussed briefly and are not a focal point. There was a lot of sentimentality, but it wasn't a "chick flick". I'm rating this adequate.
An adventure directed by Renny Harlin, starring Geena Davis.
A female pirate captain leads her crew on a quest for treasure. The military and other pirates oppose them in this venture.
This is a pirate movie. Swashes are buckled and the poop deck gets a thorough swabbing. It looks like they did all of the stunts in slow motion so they could cheat somehow, but that doesn't matter. The plot and characters were good and I like pirate movies, so I'm rating it good.
A thriller directed by Andrew Davis, starring Keanu Reeves and Morgan Freeman.
Scientists working on a water driven power source have their experiment sabotaged and it blows up a neighborhood in Chicago. Now a wanted criminal, the main scientist runs from the law while trying to figure out what's going on.
This lacked a good plot, convincing characters and any resemblance of style. The pace was quick, but with all of these things working against it, that meant nothing. I tried to watch it because I had seen Reeves and Freeman in other films where they did a good job. In this film, that was not allowed. I'm rating this shit because it's just totally worthless.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
An adventure directed by Frank Marshall, starring Tim Curry and Bruce Campbell.
A group of people go to the jungles of Africa in search of many things. 2 men want to return a gorilla to the wild, a woman wants to find a friend and some diamonds and a man wants to find a lost city.
The plot and characters were decent and the style and pacing were alright. The production value was probably the only thing that was really good because of when this was released. It seemed "mass produced" in most ways, which cheapened the experience. Most people think this movie is quite good, but I'm rating it o.k. because it wasn't unique. Yeah, I can still be a hard-ass.
A biography directed by Richard Attenborough, starring Robert Downey Jr. and Dan Aykroyd.
The life of the actor, Charlie Chaplin is shown with clips from his films.
This is just under 2 hours and unbelievably boring. The worst part is that Charlie Chaplin didn't really have a mustache! The production quality is pretty good, but it doesn't do much when the plot is trying to put me to sleep. I'm rating this poor.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
A comedy directed by John Turteltaub, starring John Candy and Doug E. Doug, produced by the Disney corporation.
A Jamaican sprinter sprinter loses the qualifying event for the Olympics because a man falls in front of him. He finds out that his father was asked to be a bobsledder by a white man in Jamaica and he seeks out this man. Together with his best friend (a pushcart racer) and the other men who fell in the sprinting event, they start the first Jamaican bobsled team.
Despite this being produced by the evil, freemasonic Disney corporation, I actually liked watching it for the entertainment value. Doug E. Doug from the Cosby show may have had something to do with this, as any man who can be funny WITH Bill Cosby is a great comedian. The plot and characters are good, but everyone knows that these guys should have won the event to make a REALLY happy ending. Disney is the cause of this, as to them, black guys being "treated as equals" is the black version of victory. We are all cosmic consciousness having an experience. It doesn't matter what color the container of this consciousness is. These guys shouldn't be considered Rastafari by the longest stretch of the word, as they are never depicted smoking cannabis out of a wooden bong. I'm rating this adequate, but it would have gotten a better rating if it wasn't Disney and they met my Rastafari requirements.
A mystery directed by John Hough.
A family with 2 daughters moves into an old house. When supernatural things begin to happen, the girls have to find out why.
This was clearly intended to be a classic '80s flick, but the actors they used were horrible. The best example was the older girl screaming at an older man to help her. The general quality was just bad overall. I'm rating this bad.
Monday, May 16, 2011
A fantasy starring Fairuza Balk and Tim Curry
An inept witch at a witchcraft school turns out to be a better witch than she seems.
This is a film that my sister used to watch all the time. The plot and characters are uber-cheesy, as per '80s regulations and the style is good (also per regulations). Tim Curry plays a fitting role and Fairuza Balk goes on to star in The Craft, how fitting! I'm rating this good because it's '80s cheese that's so bad it's good.
A black comedy directed by Brian De Palma, starring Tom Hanks, Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman.
A reporter follows the story of a rich man whose mistress hit a poor, black man with his car when they were being robbed after missing a freeway exit. The reporter publishes a book about this story and becomes rich.
When I say "black comedy", I mean that it may have been intended to be funny, but was not. Real comedies usually involve more absurd situations and are clearly meant to be funny, but I don't get the jokes because comedy isn't my deal. All of the film elements (plot, characters, pacing, setting and style) were extremely mediocre. Hence, I'm rating this o.k.
A drama directed by Martin Scorsese, starring Nicolas Cage and John Goodman.
An ambulance driver sees ghosts of the people who have died while he was on the job.
The style was the main attraction here. The characters were decent, as was the plot. I'm rating this good for style reasons. Watch it yourself to find out why.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
A drama directed by Mark Herman.
A group of coal miners also have a brass band. One of the miners begins a relationship with a woman who works for the company that is evaluating the mine (which is about to be closed down), The miners are in dire financial straits and the conductor of the band begins coughing up coal dust.
What a happy flick! (This is called "sarcasm" where I come from) It was very British, with euro-slang like "bloody", "bollocks" and "bugger" replacing most of what we know as foul language. There was a lot of brass band music. Some of my favorites were the first number where the flugelhorn player joins the group and the William Tell Overture. The characters and plot were good. I'm rating it adequate.
A drama directed by Kimberly Peirce.
A lesbian dresses as a male and joins a new group of friends in search of a girlfriend. When her real gender is found out, bad things happen.
Now stop me if I'm wrong, but don't rednecks generally agree that lesbian women are good and gay men are bad? This girl has it reversed just to make a tragic movie! That being said, the plot was not believable and the characters were horrible. The style reminded me of an old friend who I'm glad I don't see anymore. I'm rating this shit. Shame on you, Kimberly.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
A science fiction drama directed by Chris Columbus, starring Robin Williams and Sam Neill.
A family buys a robot and by some accident, he has human emotions. The family encourages him to learn new things and to be more human and eventually the father grants the robot freedom. He goes to search for any robots like him, but finds none. What he does find is a robot modification expert who upgrades him to be more human. He then resumes contact with the descendents of the family who originally bought him.
This is a surprising turn for Robin Williams, in that he is not working for the Disney corporation on this film. It is, however, what I like to call "new movie perfect" and very sentimental. The term "new movie perfect" describes that attribute of newer films that is so emotional and seemingly epic that it must be fake. The characters and plot are too good and the style and pacing are immaculate. This film was made this way for a reason! That reason is to indoctrinate! When the father gets into his car, it greets him and tells him weather conditions. The family is super-rich, but the father is what? A clock maker? It doesn't make sense. Time is the one thing that we are supposed to believe to be static, but people have been screwing around with it for ages. Roman emperors created months to glorify their names for Christ's sake (the church effed around with the calendar too). Robots become human and humans become robotic (the judge has a robotic liver). Look up transhumanism for examples of this. These are signs of the coming new world order! This is what we call predictive programming. You see these movies all the time with subtle hints at Orwellian concepts and dismiss it as fiction. After enough hinting in fiction, when it really happens, nobody is surprised and nobody reacts. The Illuminati LOVE this! When they want to kill 95% of us, we'll all say "oh, I saw that in a movie. It's o.k.". WAKE UP! IT'S FUCKING REAL! Back to the movie, I'm rating it adequate because the entertainment value is good, but the implications of the ideas within are evil.
A science fiction action film directed by Michael Miller, starring Chuck Norris.
A cop fights a crazy man who has been brought back to life my a team of scientists.
This was uber-cheesy. The characters, plot and style were lame. I'm rating it poor for being bullshit.
Friday, May 13, 2011
A drama directed by Sidney Lumet, starring Faye Dunaway.
A news anchor goes crazy and starts telling the truth on TV. Meanwhile, his best friend is having an affair with a woman who works at the same television station.
"I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!". This film is a good example of the new world order and how it functions is explained when Howard gets in trouble with a big boss and has the way things work explained to him. To boil it down to a sentence, the world is a business and the goal is to make money. I feel that this is fairly accurate. My question is whay was this film allowed to broadcast the real way that things work? The only conceivable answer is that "It's just a movie." and most people won't see the reality that lies within. I'm rating this awesome because of the ideas involved.
A mockumentary directed by Arthur Hiller, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Jackie Chan, Sylvester Stallone and Coolio.
A director gets his first directing job and the film is mishandled without his consent. It turns out bad, so he steals it to keep his name from being associated with it.
Wikipedia bills this as the worst film ever, but it's actually ABOUT the worst film ever. When the characters are introduced, the screen pauses and character profile lists come up, detailing the person. Some of the attributes are funny. I also thought the 3 celebrities chosen for the film within the film make a funny team. I'm rating this o.k.
A biography directed by Julian Schnabel, starring David Bowie, Courtney Love, Christopher Walken and Willem Dafoe.
The life and career of artist, Jean-Michel Basquiat is shown.
I don't know where to begin. I wish that I could make this review as cool as the film, but it is impossible to capture such things in words. Jean-Michel Basquiat is a beautifully ugly character, just like his art. It's going to be hard to watch anything else after this masterpiece. Obviously, I'm rating it best.
A mockumentary directed by Michael Dowse.
A pair of friends move north in Canada in search of jobs laying oil piping. They meet their friend there and gets jobs and one of them falls in love with the local slut, who everyone has had one night stands with.
This was very much like the first FUBAR film. There were funny parts and some sentimentality. The happy ending of this one was a lot more conclusive than the first film. I'm rating it good.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
An action film directed by Richard Donner, starring Sylvester Stallone and Antonio Banderas.
After killing a co-worker 15 years ago, an assassin finds that he has competition when he gets sent on jobs. The 2 competing assassins get sent on the same mission to get a disk and the one who killed the co-worker ends up befriending the woman with the disk.
I usually like Stallone films, but this was too "new action flick" for me. I think what puts me off is the overly excessive use of guns and the lack of style in the film as a whole. The plot was alright (I guess), but the pacing was just too quick. I'm rating this poor for being a new action flick.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
A thriller directed by Ron Howard, starring Tom Hanks and Kevin Bacon.
The astronauts aboard a space mission to the moon have problems when they are almost there and have to come back.
Many people have accused NASA of faking moon landing footage (theory), citing a plethora of reasons why the proof given would be biased. All of those involved in the landings in question are or were involved in high level secret societies (fact) and have every reason in the world to trick the general public in any way they can (fact). I've even heard something about mankind not even being able to leave the earth because of the conditions in space (theory) or some type of mystic barrier that keeps us earthbound (theory). Another fact is that Wikipedia continuously cites a television show (MythBusters) as absolute proof that the landings were real and we all know that TV lies to brainwash us (fact). Considering the facts, it would not surprise me if the theories were true.
Oh yeah, the movie! The style was good and the plot kept me interested. I'm rating it adequate.