The Element of Crime (1984)

A Danish crime film noir directed by Lars von Trier, starring Michael Elphick.
A detective is hypnotized and tells a story to the therapist. He was trying to solve a series of murders by following his mentor's advice and following the path of the killer.
All red video is difficult to rate with a different colored review. The plot and characters would have been more interesting if the visual aspect had not hurt my eyes so badly. The camera-work would have looked good in any other color scheme. Wikipedia says that it was shot in sodium lights. This won lots of awards, but I don't see why (pun). I rate it the most frequent color on screen: a red, bad rating. There are much better (not horrible) Lars von Trier films to watch instead of this.

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982)

An American comedy film noir directed by Carl Reiner, starring Steve Martin.
A detective investigates the case of a woman whose father has been killed.
What makes this film unique is the use of clips from old detective movies. It was all done in that 1940s style and the old clips fit seamlessly in among the new footage. Some of the humor was funny. I think my favorite joke was the detective making coffee. There was also a running gag of him getting shot in the same location. The only other thing to note is Steve Martin with black hair. Other than what I mentioned, it was pretty mediocre. I rate this o.k.
Yes, I'm back to short reviews because writing about every film element for every movie was extremely boring for me and probably for the reader as well. Also, I'm only writing about films that I actually have something to say about.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

An American action noir film directed by Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller, starring Mickey Rourke, Jessica Alba, Josh Brolin, Bruce Willis and Christopher Lloyd.
Various characters from the original Sin City film have continued story lines that branch out. They gamble, drink, have sex and kill each other.
Compared with the original, this was a steaming pile of waste. The filmmakers must have been like: "Sin City was really cool. What if we removed all the style, flavor and magic? Would we be able to sell another one?" No is the answer. The 30 million dollar loss shows that quite clearly. The plot was more desultory than the first, rendering it inconsequential, irrelevant and incoherent. The characters were forgettable extras and the story was constantly switching between them, not letting the viewer settle into a section. The video looked like the original in many ways, but upon comparison, one may notice subtle differences. These would mostly be in shot composition, lighting, sets, physical effects, the stuff that really makes a difference. The CG in this version is cranked up to 11, but it does fuck all to make it a better movie. Sure, it looks like the comic book, but that doesn't make it good. The audio is similar to the other aspects. Similar to the original, but lacking that undefinable flair for the debonair. Overall, a total disappointment. I rate this bad. Watch the original again if you are ever tempted to view this.

The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)

A British American film noir drama directed by Joel and Ethan Coen, starring Billy Bob Thornton.
A barber whose wife is cheating on him blackmails the man she is having an affair with in order to invest in a dry cleaning business. He kills the man his wife is sleeping with in self defense and the wife gets blamed.
This was pretty cool. It would be best to watch right before or after Bad Santa (2003) to see Billy Bob in opposite roles. The plot was complex and made me care what happened to the characters. The pacing was slow and black and white video added to the style. Billy Bob's heavy narration was also a positive point. Overall, exactly hitting the mark for being good without going much beyond it. I rate it good.

The Cotton Club (1984)

An American film noir directed by Francis Ford Coppola, starring Richard Gere, Diane Lane, Bob Hoskins, James Remar and Nicolas Cage.
The social drama of a group of people from night clubs in Harlem is shown. A low level Irish criminal gets a job to babysit the mob boss's wife and they fall in love.
Another boring FFC flick. I should just delete the whole batch. This one had song and dance numbers and seemed like a mostly white cast version of Idlewild (2006). The plot barely held any of my interest and I didn't care what happened to the characters. The female lead was good looking, but failed to earn anatomy points. The characters were generally acted fine and the film was well-made, had good production value and made sense. There were some scenes where I noticed good camera-work, but it bored me to distraction. Overall, I'm thinking that Coppola is not for folks who like Tarantino and Jodorowsky. I rate this poor.

Cool World (1992)

An American live action and animated comedy noir directed by Ralph Bakshi.
A World War II veteran gets into a motorcycle accident and is transported to a cartoon world. Years later, the creator of the cartoon is transported there as well. Problems arise when the issue of "doodles" (cartoon folks) and "Noids" (real folks) start crossing back and forth between the worlds.
After reading Wikipedia's description, I can see why this is literally Bakshi's worst film. His story got thrown out. That being said, there was plenty of compositing and special effects. Most of the time, this was live actors in front of a green screen with cartoons composited in behind and in front of them. The plot and characters sucked. The animation style had a slight Bakshi flavor, but it wasn't his stuff. Overall, I rate this poor. I was expecting much better.

The World Gone Mad A.K.A. The Public Be Hanged (1933)

An American crime film noir directed by Christy Cabanne, starring Pat O'Brien and Neil Hamilton.
A shady businessman is paid to start some trouble. Everyone else has meetings about it.
This was so boring that it hurt to watch. I believe I coined a term about talking movies a while ago, but don't remember the exact wording. I turned it off after 32 minutes of blah blah blah and a quick shootout. Rated shit, don't watch, let's move on.

The Sleeping Tiger (1954)

A British crime film noir directed by Joseph Losey, starring Alexis Smith and Dirk Bogarde.
A psychologist is attacked by a criminal on the street. Instead of turning him in to the police, he offers a home and help. As the psychologist tries to address the causative issues of the criminal's past, his wife falls in love with the criminal and they have an affair.
I really liked the plot and characters. The stuck up rich woman, tired of her boring old husband, goes for the bad boy. I thought it was technically sound with decent camera-work and passable sound. The editing made sense with the story and there were no mistakes or confusing cuts to unrelated scenes. What we've got here defines my adequate rating. It does it's job quite well, but does not make me sing it's praises. This would be one to watch if you're looking for decent public domain films.

Shoot to Kill (1947)

An American noir crime mystery film directed by William Berke.
After a car crash, a woman is rescued and relates the story that lead up to crashing the car. The story involves a district attorney, gangsters and corruption.
When not making the movie would have been a better decision than deciding to make it, that's bad. This was extremely dry and boring. The characters were not memorable, the plot was muddier than a swamp and the style was very utilitarian (not a compliment). The only part that caught my attention was the black piano player. They showed close shots of him playing and I think he may have actually been playing the music that you hear in that scene. If so, it's the only thing they did right in the whole film. They made a horrid movie and I hate it, but I watched the whole hour and three minutes. I rate it bad.

Port of New York (1949)

An American film noir crime drama propaganda directed by Laszlo Benedek, starring Yul Brynner.
The narrator says that top government agents must stop the influx of drugs to our country by finding the men responsible for a stolen shipment of opium.
It says in the beginning that the aforementioned drugs were being shipped in for research legally. It then goes on about how harmful the drugs are and how no good can come of them. Then why research them? Then these top level (and probably top paid) dudes spend tons of time tracking down the guys who stole the fun stuff so more money can be spent by keeping them in jail for an even longer time. All on your tax dollars. I thought that the film was propaganda with a thin plot and some forgettable characters. The style wasn't very good and the thing of having some parts narrated and some parts not was not the best idea. I rate it poor because it didn't cause discomfort and it gave me something to write about.

Captain Scarface (1953)

An American film noir thriller directed by Paul Guilfoyle.
A hotel in South America is the scene of multiple shootings as one man tries to get paid for illegal business, a man on the run from a landlord after sleeping with the landlord's wife shows up shot and a nuclear scientist meets his daughter. The remaining characters board a ship for the United States, only to find that it has a bomb on it.
The plot was complex, yet coherent. A little bit of espionage and hidden identities went on, but still the characters were good and were provided with back-stories. The only thing missing was some style. I would have liked to see some creative use of the camera to really make it great. Special effects were obviously not a plausible option in the era in which this film was made. The video and audio showed their age, but when a film is interesting, those types of things can easily be overlooked. This is another very watchable old public domain film. I'm rating it adequate. Who cares that the director's name sounds like oil used on a grandmother... (Metalocalypse) whatever.

Bank Alarm (1937)

An American film noir directed by Louis J. Gasnier.
A group of gangsters, tired of the same old crime, decide to start robbing banks. A pair of these gangsters intentionally get picked up for vagrancy and spend a night in a jail that is also a post office in order to steal some money. A detective, clumsy photographer and their lady friends try to catch the gangsters.
I think that this was very well made. The production, editing and acting fit the time period, but looked pretty alright. The plot was a little thin and didn't keep me very interested though. The photographer seemed to be used as comic relief, but in a film noir this seems out of place. For doing an alright job making a mediocre film, I rate this o.k.

Last Man Standing (1996)

An American film noir western by Walter Hill, starring Bruce Willis and Christopher Walken.
The plot of Yojimbo is played out on the Mexican border. A man comes into town and finds two gangs in conflict. He takes employment with both of them and increases the conflict until they destroy each other.
I liked the original more and I rated that o.k., so how does this one rate? Bruce Willis and Christopher Walken are obviously not my favorite actors. The film was remade into something weird and not so great. The main character is obviously not a gunslinger because it takes him like 8 shots to kill a man. He even has 2 guns! He has obviously forgotten the face of his father. All points against it. I'm rating it bad because I can be a hard-ass like that when the mood strikes me.

Sin City (2005)

A film noir directed by Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller and Quentin Tarantino, starring Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Jessica Alba, Benicio Del Toro and Elijah Wood.
A detective seeks to protect the girl who he saved when she was a child. A thug has a one night stand with a hooker and wakes up to find her dead.
With a team of directors like this, the movie is as good as it should be. The style of the film is great and the scarce use of color is great for the film noir feeling. The characters are extreme stereotypes, but good anyway and the plot keeps my interest every time I watch it. I'm rating it best.
Excuse the short reviews today. I've got this giant stack of DVDs that I've seen a few hundred times each and I'm just cranking out reviews as quick as I can.

Angel Heart (1987)

A mystery film noir directed by Alan Parker, starring Mickey Rourke and Robert DeNiro.
A private detective is sent to find a certain man, but when blues musicians and voodoo practitioners get involved, things get complicated.
This film's plot was very good. I really liked how things developed and changed. The characters were o.k., but they didn't play as big a role in the film as the plot. There were some musical scenes like the boy tap-dancing and the water dripping and turning to blood during the sex scene that were really well done. This film confirms my wild assumptions about the golden age of modern cinema and the general good quality of movies from 1987. I'm going to have to rate it good, just because it was.

The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

A film noir directed by Jonathan Lynn.
A contract killer moves in next door to a dentist who is unhappy with his wife. The wife persuades the man to turn the contract killer into the mob and the plot twists and turns uncontrollably.
The main character is supposed to be funny, but comes off as a moron. What's really funny is the lack of reaction to this by the other characters. I'm feeling lenient tonight, so I'm rating it blue. I enjoyed watching this, but it sure didn't go that extra mile to get green.

brick (2005)

a mystery directed by rian johnson
ever seen a film noir? imagine that, only modern with high school kids. a girl is murdered, bad drug deals are made, drug dealer is searched out by the "detective". it's a pretty standard plot from the 1920s.
video was excellent, but they overdid the whisper-blast technique. I had to turn up the sound to hear dialogue, only to be blown away by sound effects and music. maybe I should get a compressor for my computer.
I'm giving this a bad review because high school is not the place for a murder-mystery. I don't want to hear modern kids calling the cops "bulls" and use other film noir elements in a 2005 high school setting. unless you're a high school student who likes film noir, DON'T WATCH IT!