An American crime film directed by Martin Scorsese, starring Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Ray Liotta and Paul Sorvino.
A young man grows up working for the Italian mob. He marries a Jewish woman and they try to have a family while he is involved in gangster stuff.
This is a pretty classic and well known crime film. I hardly think anything that I could say about it would add to what has already been written. What I liked most were the heavy narration and juxtaposition of family normalcy with violent crimes. It makes for good contrasts when scenes switch. Name a film element and it was done well. If you haven't seen it, you must. I rate it awesome.
American comedies directed by Chris Columbus, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Candy, John Heard and Catherine O'Hara.
A boy's family leaves for Christmas vacation in France, but forget to bring him. While they are away, burglars try to break into the house. Then he gets on the wrong plane and ends up in New York City while his family are in Florida. The same burglars show up.
When I began taking college video production classes, I realized how cool the original Home Alone was. Everything is done straight up, by the book. Every shot is identifiable and everything is planned for clear communication. Casting did a great job. On an interesting note, Catherine O'Hara (Mrs. McCallister) voiced Malicious in Witch's Night Out (1978) and played Delia Deetz in Beetlejuice (1988). The second film was not as good as the first and buggered belief even more. I rate the original best and the sequel adequate.
An American science fiction horror directed by J.S. Cardone, starring Louise Fletcher, James Hong and Miguel A. Nunez Jr.
A NASA captain is sent to a laboratory to examine a sleep experiment because one of the patients has died. A monster from another dimension gets loose in the facility and starts killing people.
More one-off Full Moon trash. Pick a film element... it sucked. I really don't feel the need to explain everything that was bad when it was almost everything. The sets were better for this than most trashy science fiction horrors. The building looked industrial and the gadgets looked scientific. There was female nudity (image), but also full frontal male nudity (no image). I rate this bad because it was a waste of time.
An American TROMA fantasy directed by Brett Piper.
A young woman in a post-apocalyptic world is fought over by men around her who kill one another or are eaten by dinosaurs.
I think "basic" describes this best. It was so simple, yet a total failure at its modest goals. It seemed like such a good idea and an easy win, but something went wrong. Almost bad to the point of being funny, but not quite. The writing, casting, acting, camera-work, special effects and editing sucked. There is really no information available about this besides name, date, cast and crew. I imagine that the dinosaurs were a mix of puppets and stop motion. They looked worse than The Lost World (1925). The female lead was on the "Itty Bitty Tittie Committee" and there was so little dialogue that the plot became obscured by lack of speech. I rate this bad and would not recommend it to anyone. You really should not watch it.
A Chinese romance directed by Wong Kar-wai, starring Leslie Cheung, Andy Lau, Maggie Cheung, Carina Lau and Jacky Cheung.
3 men have relationship problems with 3 women. One of the men is adopted, dislikes his adopted mother and wants to find his real parents.
Muddy plot. I watched an hour of it, then read the plot on Wikipedia and turned it off. It just doesn't make sense to me. If my understanding of the plot is correct, it's a whole lot of nothing, so why even bother making the movie? Everyone else online seems to think it's great though. Something is wrong here. I rate this shit in accordance with my turn off policy. Do not watch! ...or listen to everyone else and watch it. I don't care.
An American adventure directed by Bob Rafelson, starring Iain Glen.
Two men go to Africa in search of the source of the Nile. One of them thinks that he found it, but has no proof. Upon returning to England, they have a misunderstanding and disagreement.
What a long pile of bullshit. 2 hours and 10 minutes is too long for an inconclusive story. The adventures of the team in Africa when they meet various tribes and villages were alright. There were fights, lack of supplies, sickness and various other perils to brave. If that had been all it was, it would have been really cool. About an hour was African adventures, but then there was all of this drama crap in England at the beginning and end. I understand the need for exposition and conclusion, but those should have been shorter. If a movie is this long, it should be better than this and more worth the time. I rate this tolerable. If you have nothing else to do or watch and want to waste 2 hours, this would be for that situation.
A Chinese wuxia horror comedy directed by Ching Sui-tung, starring Leslie Cheung, Joey Wong and Jacky Cheung.
An innocent man is imprisoned because of mistaken identity, but his cellmate helps him to escape. Upon reaching freedom, he accidentally steals the horse of a Taoist magician. The 2 meet later at an abandoned temple that turns out to be haunted by a demon. Political rebels also show up and are trying to free the father of 2 sisters, 1 of which looks like the main character's lost love, Sui Sin. The main character, romantic interest, comic relief, rebels and demon all clash at the temple.
This was much slower than the first film in the series. The plot was also far more complex. An hour and 37 minutes is too short for something this cool, but there's still #3 left to watch. Even though there were too many characters with intertwining plot motives, I was actually able to keep track of them relatively well. I can't say much for translated dialogue, but there was a joke about the main character wanting to write on the hands of the sisters and them thinking he wanted to have sex with both of them. The sets were very similar to the first in the series. There was lots of darkness with colored lighting, mostly blue. The decrepit, old temple looked like it was actually old and falling apart instead of being designed to fall apart. Camera-work was very similar to #1 as well, but with much slower editing pace. The demon is not a spoiler. He happens pretty soon and was created quite well. His claws and fangs were obviously the most important part. We also had flying people and weapons and a stone stairway that split apart. There were also magic fire and freeze spells. The audio was easier this time because they slowed it down to a pace that I could read subtitles at. Style was similar to #1 of course. This has a 7/10 on IMDB, 3/5 on AllMovie and 64% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. 65% average is still a failing grade, which I disagree with. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I liked this and see it as a valuable part of the series. I rate it adequate and can't wait to watch #3.
A Chinese American directed by Sandra Weintaub, starring Sammo Hung, Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao and Cynthia Rothrock.
Basic information on martial arts is given, followed by examples of different elements involved in the films.
If you want to watch some fight scenes, this movie is for you. If you want information, titles and years, watch Films of Fury. The hour 26 duration seemed to go on forever because it was all just fighting. It had pitifully low information density and only a few people were interviewed. These people also showed up in all of the fight scenes. They were Sammo Hung, Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao and Cynthia Rothrock. John Saxon's narration was unenthusiastic and dry, the opposite of the narrator from Films of Fury. Most of the clips looked and sounded alright, but some were so underexposed that the fighting was nearly invisible in a sea of black. This has a 7.3/10 on IMDB. I think that the score should be lower because documentaries are supposed to be relatively informative. I'm not talking a master class in kung fu flicks, but titles and years for the clips would have helped. I rate this poor for low information density. The only thing that saves it from "bad" is in depth interviews with Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung.
A Chinese comedy directed by Jeffrey Lau and Corey Yuen, starring Stephen Chow, Ng Man-tat, Sharla Cheung and Sandra Ng.
A young man with supernatural powers goes to stay with his gambler uncle. The uncle finds out that his nephew can see through solid items and uses him to win at gambling.
This was actually funny. The hour 40 duration went by quickly as I was laughing at Stephen Chow's jokes. The simplistic premise had a romantic sub-plot, but didn't really seem to matter much to me. It was more of a framework to hang humor on than a real story. The characters were a little shallow, but the nephew-uncle team made me laugh a few times. I can't say much for dialogue because of the language barrier, but the acting was great. I thought the funniest acting joke was when the uncle shows his nephew a movie about a gambler and there is a slow motion scene of the gambler entering a room. The nephew then does his own slow motion effect by walking slowly when he goes to meet a mob boss gambler. Sets and costumes were pretty standard for the area and time, nothing really worth mentioning. The armpit scene was not funny. Camera-work was standard as well. Not bad, I could see everything clearly, but nothing caught my eye as being above average. The dialogue on the version that I watched was dubbed into Thai. So it was a Chinese film, Thai dubbing with English subtitles. The soundtrack was everything cheesy that I like about late '80s early '90s film score music. Very dated and hokey, but in a good way for a comedy flick. This has a 6.9/10 on IMDB, 78% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes and was nominated for 2 awards. That seems about right to me. I rate it adequate for being a mediocre movie with some funny humor.
An American documentary produced by Gaby Monet, starring Beth Thomas.
A violent 6 year old girl is interviewed by her therapist. She tells of how her biological father abused her and how she now abuses her family. It then goes on to show her new living conditions and how she has changed.
This started off amazing, but went downhill quickly at the end. The interview footage was very raw and filmed from the therapist's perspective. Beth, her adopted mother and the reform home owner were interviewed. I think that this was all about content in the beginning and switched gears at around 20 minutes of the 27 minute duration. Up until that point, we saw a girl devoid of mercy, remorse, sympathy, etc. Subject covered in this time frame include sticking pins in people and animals, killing baby birds and stealing knives in the hopes of using them as murder weapons. After that 20 minute mark, she goes to church, takes care of animals and cries. I think they broke her. Production was a little low-budget, but I could hear and see everything fine. There were still photos mixed in with the video interviews. This has a 7.4/10 on IMDB, but I think it deserves better. I rate this awesome because you haven't lived until you've heard a 6 year old girl talk about wanting to murder her family.
A British American horror directed by Dirk Campbell.
A guy buys a motorcycle that is possessed. It wants to hurt people.
This was desultory magic. It was like they turned the movie magic on for every scene, but couldn't put them in a coherent order. The plot was a mess. The characters were developed exponentially in some areas, but were cardboard cutouts in others. The video was definitely of the era. Same with audio. I could hear everything and it sounded like the late '80s. I liked the dismemberment scenes. The poop dream was also cool, but didn't make sense. Just like the rest of the movie. Incoherent magic. I'm giving this a weird, pink rating and keeping it.
An American horror directed by Tom Savini, starring Tony Todd.
A brother and sister go to the graveyard to see their mother's grave. Dead people become zombies.
Evaluating a remake of a classic movie happens sometimes. I think the casting was done well and everything was just played by the book. Let's set this as medium ok.
An American fantasy adventure by Steve Barkett.
A man saves his child from an evil cult, but his wife is left behind. Years later, the evil cult returns with ninjas, magicians and a demon. He must fight them with the help of his son.
They really tried to make a good movie, but it was just beyond their price range and abilities. What we get is something less than good that is easy to mock by non-filmmakers. The plot is simplistic and the characters are poorly acted. I think that some bad writing went into this. The man not recognizing his son who looks just like him was not very convincing. There were definitely video problems. I saw a continuity issue/prop malfunction with a broken bridge repairing itself. The special effects were cheesy and the action scenes just did not stack up as I think they were intended to. The audio was not bad, with the soundtrack music actually being good. Overall, a budget flick trying to be more than it was capable of. I give them 100% for effort, but the end product is definitely lacking in a few categories. I rate this tolerable.
An Italian American horror directed by Claudio Fragasso, starring Michael Stephenson.
A family goes on a vacation to a rural community. The son finds out that the locals are all vegetarian goblins and must prevent his family from eating anything, lest they become plants and food for the goblins.
This is obviously not the worst movie ever made. Ben Hur, Some Kind of Monster, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie and Blues Brothers 2000 were all far worse than this. Sure, it was total crap, but it didn't cause me physical pain to watch. This was poorly written, acted even worse, the editing was atrocious and they screwed up the sound in many sections. In all honesty, it looked like a first year film student made it. Trust me, I've seen much worse. What makes me so sure of this position? The audio was neither treble-bias screechy, mid-bias honky or bass-bias muffled. I could hear and understand most of the dialogue. The image quality was actually pretty good (just speaking of technical specifications). It was cast amazingly well. The poorly acted characters do indeed fit their roles and I found the female antagonist to be quite attractive (picture). The content did not make me cringe like my childhood idols and supposed metal gods behaving like crybabies (Some Kind of Monster). It was not overly long, with vast expanses of underutilized screen time (Ben Hur). It was not a musical with bad music (The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, Blues Brothers 2000). Overall, the "best worst movie" is more cheesy, hokey and amateurish than anything else. I rate it poor.
An American drama written and directed by Barry Levinson.
A Jewish family lives in America. One of the men is a salesman who opens a store with his partner. The family has issues with when to cut the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner.
What did I just watch? It was a very long film about almost nothing. Barry stretched that threadbare plot out over two hours just because he could. It was very well made and the production was top quality. It's just that the content was so dull and mundane! The only real action was when the boys made "cliffhangers" by igniting a stream of glue to their model airplanes. And JEWISH! Barry Levinson is as Jewish as Spike Lee is black. I think stereotypes are funny once in a while, but these guys make a career out of them! Overall, two hours of well produced Hebrews just going about their day to day lives. I rate it tolerable.
An American drama directed by Barry Levinson, starring Adrien Brody and Joe Mantegna.
A Jewish boy has a father who is a gangster. The boy's friend becomes obsessed with a girl he meets at a Halloween party and the father runs afoul of a black drug dealer. The boy himself falls in love with a back girl in his class at school.
That story took two hours to tell? The plot was a shambles. Totally jumping around between people and going off on side-tracks every few minutes. There was no real focus. The characters were likeable and made themselves known to the viewer very quickly. I attribute this to good writing and acting. I didn't notice any visually powerful scenes. The audio stayed in the background, except at appropriate times. Multi-racial record listening, the James Brown concert and the burlesque theater scenes accentuated the music in a good way. Overall, It left me wondering what was going on, but was pleasant to watch. I rate it o.k.
An American comedy directed by Bob Logan, starring Linda Blair, Ned Beatty and Leslie Nielsen.
The girl from The Exorcist has grown up and has a family. Satan's spirit comes out of the TV and she is "repossessed". A parody of the duo of priests who exorcised her the first time is called in for a rematch.
This is one of the films that I grew up watching with my sister. The jokes are dated, but funny. I think that it typifies early '90s comedy. I liked the doctor getting actual cases, like boxes, of the flu at the hospital. There were so many jokes at the gym that I can't list them all. As with most American comedies, this features prolific use of sex jokes. It's really cool that they got the actress who played Regan MacNeil from the original Exorcist film to play the female lead. Leslie Nielsen is one of my favorite comic actors from this time period. Overall, dated, but high quality. I rate this awesome, mostly for sentimental value.
An American musical drama written, directed and produced by Spike Lee, starring Denzel Washington, Wesley Snipes, Giancarlo Esposito and John Turturro.
A young man in New York City grows up to be a famous trumpet player. He has problems with his manager, women and band members until someone smacks him in the face with his own trumpet. With his musical career ended, he settles down with one woman and starts a family.
I'll call this a melanzana movie. The plot was typical of Spike Lee's films. Same with characters. The video was good, but a little on the dark side. The soundtrack featured mostly jazz and I even identified "Goodbye, Pork Pie Hat". The part that I really liked were the bookend intro and outro scenes being similar. I didn't understand the scene where the main character was laying on the floor (picture). Although previously absolved of all crimes of cinema, that doesn't stop me from giving an honest review. You seriously need dark skin to fully appreciate this film. I rate this tolerable.
A British comedy drama written and directed by Mike Leigh, starring Jim Broadbent and Timothy Spall.
A family has their two adult daughters living at home with them. The father buys a trailer snack shop that is in poor condition. One daughter fucks her boyfriend during the day and wallows in bulimia at night. A friend of the family opens a restaurant. He gets drunk, as does the father (separately) and the next day, the father falls at work, breaking his leg.
Ah, more "slice of life" from Mike Leigh. The plot was minimalistic, but the characters were entertaining when they weren't crying or puking. I was shocked to find that the daughters were both daughters and adult. One looks like a boy and the other looks like she's about 11 or 12 years old. I was wondering "who lets these little kids smoke and drink?". Video looked really good. I saw lots of correct exposure with the shots clearly showing what was going on. The audio was decent. I seriously can't get enough of those British accents and slang terms like "taking the piss" and "innit?". Overall, not too shabby, but I like more to happen in a movie. Sorry for all the spoilers, but it's not like there's much there to spoil! I rate this adequate. It's worth watching if you have nothing else to do.
A Chinese wuxia directed by King Hu, Ching Siu-tung, Ann Hui, Andrew Kam and Tsui Hark, starring Cecilia Yip and Sharla Cheung.
An important manuscript scroll has been stolen from a government administration building. The leader finds the house of the man who took it and posts guards, preparing to kill the thief. The thief also has guards, but inside the house with him. As the standoff tension rises, a pair of messengers burst in and accidentally cause the house to explode. They flee the scene with one of the other participants and stow away on a boat, where they meet this man's friend. The two old men perform a song and after the ship is destroyed in an attack, escape with the messengers. The old men are mortally wounded and pass their instruments and song to the messengers. The search for the missing scroll continues with plots of intrigue, lies and deception.
Pretty nice. The plot was a little too much for me, but that's pretty standard in most wuxia films. Obviously, we've got tons of characters too and I was unable to keep track of who was on what side and who was lying. The video looked VERY early '90s wuxia (that's a good thing). This included lots of fast paced editing in fight scenes and blue-lit night scenes. All of the lighting was excellent. It seemed correct for the scenes and I could see everything that was happening. There were lots of special effects. This was mostly flying characters, projectile weapons of exaggerated power and break-away sets. The soundtrack was good and I liked the plot song, but knew that the actors were not actually playing their instruments. Overall, I liked the flying fights, but would have liked a simpler plot. I rate this adequate. This is only for the most hardcore wuxia fans.
