Pirates of the Caribbean series (2003 - 2017)

American swashbuckling films directed by Gor Verbinsky, Rob Marshall, Espen Sandberg and Joachim Rønning, starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley and Kevin McNally.
Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is a pirate who gets involved in many adventures, His trusted first mate is Gibbs, his competitor is Barbossa and they become entangled with a romantic couple of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann. There is always some magical item being searched for, disputes over ships and supernatural enemies to contend with.
In typical Disney and Hollywood fashion, the first film was immensely successful. It was followed up with others which became stale and predictable very quickly. The plots were always interesting and Johnny Depp's performances always met my approval. I liked that there were many places, people and special effects. However, the moving set pieces got really old. I'm talking after Jack/Johnny and Will/Orlando first meet, seesaw floors should not have been repeated. It got to the point of Jack/Johnny being in a spinning guillotine. Some CG and compositing is nice, but having main characters based upon it is too much for a live action film (Davy Jones). Like Indiana Jones, I got a little tired of last minute escapes. I hope you like the theme music from the first film because all the others have it as well. If I were to pick a favorite scene, it would bo Jack/Johnny alone on The Pearl in Davy Jones' Locker. Regardless of how predictable and repetitive, folks say that the plots are too convoluted and I have found that watching these at least 2x all the way through makes them clearer. It also makes what was stale the first time even staler. I rate them adequate because they are relatively entertaining, the acting is good and the effects work.

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

A German American crime action sequel directed by John Singleton, starring James Remar.
A racecar driver is now working with the cops and together with an old friend, they make a deal to deliver money to a crime boss. The cops are in on the plan and want to catch everyone.
Oh yeah, car racing is absolutely the most interesting thing to watch. He's driving faster, now the other guy drives faster. Clearly, the plot did not hold my attention. I thought the characters were shallow too. The video had lots of quick editing, but some creative shots like going through the back of the car into the bag of money. There was also more correct exposure than I expected. The audio had crappy music, but dialogue was all clear. It was at least mixed well. What we've got here is "just another American car chase" like I said about "just another Japanese gun fight" before. I rate it bad because it's not worth watching and should never have been made, but at least it didn't hurt to watch. Don't watch it.

11:14 (2003)

A Canadian American black comedy drama directed by Greg Marcks, starring Rachel Leigh Cook, Ben Foster, Clark Gregg and Barbara Hershey.
Separate series of events involving different groups of people all converge at 11:14PM in a car accident. 5 parts are shown.
This was about plot. Each of the people was shown in their own segment and with each passing segment, more of the pieces of the puzzle fit together to show what happened. Characters were kind of temporary and shallow because there were so many of them. I didn't really notice cinematography or editing and the audio seemed fine. There were also good subtitles on the version I found. Most folks seem to like this, but Time Out seemed to find it boring. I liked it because it held my attention. I rate it good and you should probably watch it.
On a side note, I have switched movie lists of what to watch next. I found this list of "every film ever made" https://alphabetizer.flap.tv/lists/list-of-every-movie-ever-made.php and figured I could just start at the beginning and watch whatever I found. It sure beats watching a list of the worst movies, if only for the element of chance involved. My old list was so long that I might as well try a list claiming to be every movie. I've also figured out how to make images start out at the top and centered.

In the Cut (2003)

A British Australian American mystery thriller directed by Jane Campion, starring Meg Ryan, Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Jason Leigh.
A teacher gets involved with a detective after he thinks she might be a witness to a murder. She thinks that he might be the murderer because of a tattoo on his wrist.
This was not so great. The plot was really muddy and not clearly presented, but what was there was not very interesting. The characters were a little shallow, but the detective showed more depth than I thought he would as the plot progressed. There was a variety of camera-work going on as well as editing. My favorite was a dream sequence involving the main character's parents ice skating. There was far too much whisper acting going on. The sister was using "eigh" vowel replacements constantly and most of her dialogue was slurred gibberish. It wasn't really bad, but it sure wasn't good. I rate this poor. You probably should not watch it.

House of the Dead (2003)

A German Canadian American action horror directed by Uwe Boll, starring Clint Howard and Jürgen Prochnow.
Young people go to an island where a party was happening, but it has been disrupted by zombies. The outlaws who gave them a boat ride there and the cops chasing the outlaws are also drawn into the events.
I never want to see another slow motion bullet or fight move with the camera circling around what is depicted. Sadly, I will see these things again. I will also again regret watching a film based on a video game. This seemed like a 1980s campy horror flick done with 2000s technology. That is a very bad thing. At least in the '80s it seemed genuine. By 2003, characters should know to avoid blue smoke and fog at any cost. We also all know that jumping while shooting makes the bullets do more damage. I am so tired of writing about crappy movies when nobody reads it. I rate this bad. Really, don't watch it.
On a lighter note, I found an alphabetical list claiming to be every film ever made with title and year. Since I had been working on making a "movies to watch" list for so long and it has gone in so many directions that I no longer care what is on it, that is what I shall be using.

From Justin to Kelly (2003)

An American musical romance directed by Robert Iscove.
Teenagers on spring break are trying to find love, or at least quick sex. A boy is attracted to a gairl, but her friend is intercepting text messages and preventing them from meeting.
What a pile of crap. Critics all seem to agree on this as well as Stinkers Bad Movie Awards and Golden Raspberry. Remember how I said the Russian film, Guardians (2017) seemed less forced and contrived than American superhero flicks? This is the opposite of that. It all seemed forced and contrived. Insincere. What happened was that Kelly Clarkson was contractually bound by American Idol to be in a movie and unfortunately, this is what she was offered. The plot and characters were shallow and vapid. Why is this dork vacationing with the party guys? At least it could have been explained, like he had a car and gave them a ride. Fitting that little scrap of information in would not have been difficult. The songs came out of nowhere and the characters just went back to acting afterward. It wasn't like a normal musical in which the songs are acknowleged by the plot and characters, these were ignored. I also have a problem with white people singing like they are black. I've lightened up on the racist comments since remaining in communications with my Jamaican friend (totally unexpected, hippie guy has a black Jamaican friend). He has informed me a little about racism and made me realize that I was doing some and it may be wrong to label "moulignon movies", but other people do much worse. What iriitates me is when someone acts outside of their ethnicity. White folks singing black, black folks acting Japanese, Asian folks singing black... Seriously, look in a mirror. Alright, so everything was terrible except audio and video. It looked and sounded fine like polishing a turd. I rate this shit because it should never have been made and nobody should ever watch it.

Gigli (2003)

An American romantic comedy directed by Martin Brest, starring Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Christopher Walken and Al Pacino.
A mobster is assigned to abduct the retarded brother of a politician in order to extort money. A woman is also assigned to this task (without his knowledge) and the 3 of them form a bond.
Above all else, this was inconsistent. That seems to be the consensus after a quick read of what other critics thought. They said that it was too disorganized, but not as bad as more popular romantic comedies of the time. I didn't know whether to call it crime, romance or comedy and I think it was trying to be all of them, stretching too thin over the 2 hour duration. There were some funny parts that really made me laugh, but there were "wise guy" mob business scenes, sappy romance parts, a shooting, etc... Just trying to be too much. Rainman (1988) already did the bad boy/retard buddy flick and did it well. What I'm saying is that this should have selected romance or crime and eliminated the other element. Justin Bartha played "deet dee dee" pretty well for such a pretty boy/heartthrob actor. I haven't seen his other films though. Ben Affleck did a great job as the bad boy mobster and Christopher Walken fit his short scene as the cop the viewer hates because I really do hate him. A plot point which confused me was that Brian asked Larry to read to him, so he reads food and toilet paper labels. Then Larry goes into the other room and Ricki has a book, but he says nothing about it. Video looked pretty good and I could hear most of the dialogue well. I rate this adequate because it was worth watching once for the comedy scenes.

Wolf's Rain series A.K.A. ウルフズレイン, Urufuzu Rein (2003 - 2004)

A Japanese anime directed by Tensai Okamura.
A group of reverse-werewolves (wolves which can become human at will) are looking for paradise and are convinced that a woman made from a flower will lead them to it. Unfortunately, a technological military group called Nobles are trying to keep the woman for their own purposes and an old man is on a wolf-hunting revenge quest.
The premise seems great and the first few episodes (maybe first season?) went really well. That was where it broke down. Episodes 15-18 were a recap of episodes 1-14 and then the ending was all messy. The plot became convoluted and muddy and the ending was inconclusive. Like Chrono Crusade, it would have been better to just have the 4 wolf guys run around dealing with problems on an individual episode basis. This was worse than that because it was so serious. So serious, in fact, that the animation style was in low contrast and low color saturation. The credits theme songs were terrible and it didn't seem to matter where the opening credits ended up in the episode. opening credits 5 minutes in? Sure! Why not? I found the whole set to be boring and it did not hold my attention. I rate it o.k.

Chrono Crusade series A.K.A. Chrno Crusade, クロノ クルセイド, Kurono Kuruseido (2003 - 2004)

A Japanese anime directed by Yu Ko.
A young religious woman has made a contract with a devil. Together, they fight demonic monsters and search for her lost brother. They are soon joined by a girl vocalist and a rich woman who is a jewel summoner.
This was a little bit mixed. There was supernatural violence, blood, female anatomy emphasis, humor and heartstring-tugging emotional material. As far as variety goes, it had that. However, I would have preferred it to be 24 stand-alone episodes of Rosette and Chrono battling supernatural monsters punctuated by bouncing tits and the lecherous old scientist giving them new toys to play with. It started out fun and light, but got emotional and heavy at the end. Just to be clear, this is not associated with Chrono Cross or Chrono Trigger. I really see no need to write overly much about a 24 episode anime series. I rate it adequate. Anime fans would enjoy it more than I did.

Easy Riders, Raging Bulls (2003)

An American documentary directed by Kenneth Bowser.
The stars of Hollywood talk about the '60s, '70s and '80s.
Oh boy, I really needed to see this shit about mainstream flicks! 2 hours was too much, but the pacing was moderately quick. The plot seriously went nowhere. Usually, documentaries about movies are supposed to make you want to watch the films they're about, but this did the opposite! I don't want to have watched those movies! Information density was pretty sparse. It seemed like people spoke on a single talking point for far too long. Selection of interviewees was top notch. These were the people involved in the subject matter and could not have been chosen better. I think that the subject matter itself is what repulsed me so much. These are the most popular films leading into the era of the blockbuster and I like the most obscure films most. The camera-work on interviews was textbook, but terrible. Every one of them was on the left with tons of headroom (image). Some variety would have been nice. There were endless kinestasises of still photos as well. Clips from the films were as sparse as the information density. Audio worked. I could hear dialogue, sound effects and music. I would call the style uncreative at best. IMDb lists a rating of 7.5/10 and Rotten Tomatoes 100% tomatometer with 81% audience score for an average of 85.3%. It is easy to believe that this got 100% on something because it's a mediocre documentary about mediocre films that were enormously popular for their mediocrity. Obviously, I disagree with so high an average grade. I rate this poor because it sucked a fat one, but wasn't painful.

A Certain Kind of Death (2003)

An American documentary directed by Grover Babcock and Blue Hadaegh.
This film examines what happens when someone with no living relatives dies.
This was disgusting, but very detailed. The film follows the entire process that happens after the death of one man, but includes other corpses as well.  What they get right is following the whole process. Each person who handles this man's case is interviewed and explains their job. The interviews aren't very interesting on their own, but must be taken together to make sense. The camera-work was a little dull, but you wouldn't want to see crazy angles and interesting pans or tilts in this type of subject matter. The audio was a little low and ending with the song, "Scarborough Fair" seemed a little odd to me. Don't watch this if seeing really disgusting stuff grosses you out. The workers in this image are dumping cremation boxes into a mass grave. Nothing like breathing in some dead people! I rate it o.k. because I look for a little more excitement in films that get my higher ratings.

A Tale of Two Sisters A.K.A. Janghwa, Hongryeon (2003)

A South Korean drama thriller directed by Kim Jee-woon.
A girl is released from a mental institution into the care of her stepmother. Her sister also lives there and there are haunting style events in the house.
This didn't make any sense. The plot failed to hold my attention. The characters were shallow and even mysterious. The video was excellently done. There was a variety of creative shots and transitions. The audio was in Korean with English subtitles and the dialogue and music seemed to be mixed correctly. Overall, I couldn't pay attention and when I could, failed to figure out what was going on. I rate this poor. You probably shouldn't watch it.

The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara (2003)

An American documentary directed by Errol Morris.
Robert S. McNamara speaks about his life in business, politics and war.
Let's get this out of the way first: McNamara was in Skull and Bones and the Trilateral Commission, so yes, he is Illuminati and a Freemason. Given the fact that nobody without a full list of secret society memberships could ever be president of the World Bank. I found the subject matter to be very boring because I have no interest in business, economics, politics or war. The interview footage was actually really good. A device called an Interrotron was used so that the interviewee appears to be speaking directly to the viewer, instead of looking at the interviewer or elsewhere. My video professor at school would disagree, but I think it worked fine. She would also criticize the jump cuts in the interview footage. The B-roll was all very professional looking. One type of scene that I liked most was of a busy street recorded twice. The recordings were layered, with one going very fast and the other very slow. An artsy touch. There were also, obviously, stock videos from television used. The audio was all very good because it was mostly just one man speaking in a room. Overall, the interesting video production made a long and dry interview slightly interesting. I rate this poor because I just didn't like it.

The American Hobo (2003)

An American documentary directed by Bobb Hopkins, starring Merle Haggard and Ernest Borgnine.
A history of train riding hobos is presented, with interviews from old and new hobos.
This shit is classic! The plot follows a rough timeline and subject matter presentation that really makes sense. The interviews are short, sweet and revealing. It seems like the clips were taken from much longer, in depth interviews to get this quality of material. Voice-over narration is done by Ernest Borgnine and his voice is perfect for the job. The video was in full screen and looked like it came from the 1980s, but I won't hold that against it when the content is this good. The audio was impeccable. Dialogue, voice-overs, music and train sound foley were all perfectly mixed. Basically, the production was PHENOMENAL! Overall, just gritty and raw enough to satisfy rougher audiences, but presented with style and class to suit finer tastes. My only complaint is that 87 minutes is just not long enough and I wanted more. I rate this awesome. WATCH IT!!!

Capturing the Friedmans (2003)

An American documentary directed by Andrew Jarecki.
The story of a father and son accused of sexually abusing young boys is told. They were hosting computer classes at their house in the 1980s when the father was caught mailing a child pornography magazine.
This was certainly good enough to watch twice. The interviews were all excellent and there was home movie footage from the accused family. The plot was a little inconclusive because the audience is never told for sure whether the two main characters were actually guilty. The video was extremely varied in style and quality because of the multiple sources of footage. It was, however, all edited and handled very well. The audio was very good. I could hear everything and there were no annoying sounds. Overall, the subject matter may not be for everyone, but it is a very well made film that tells a compelling story. I rate this good. Watch it!

Superior Firepower: The Making of "Aliens" (2003)

An American documentary directed by Charles de Lauzirika.
Interviews about making the movie, Aliens.
Do you remember The Beast Within? this is basically the same film. Some of the interviews were even shot for both films at the same time. When the interviewee is in the same location, wearing the same clothes, with the same camera placement, it kind of gives that away. This version included lots more about special effects, puppeteering and making miniatures. They used in-camera physical effects because digital effects were so costly and time consuming at that time. We get to see lots of alien models and costumes because there were more aliens in this film. There were 2 interviews that rubbed me the wrong way. One was the brothers who worked on models. Only one of them spoke and the other just sat there uselessly. The other was the composer who complained about tight deadlines for over half an hour. Overall, better than The Beast Within and yes, it made me want to watch Aliens. I rate this good.

The Beast Within: The Making of "Alien" (2003)

An American documentary directed by Charles de Lauzirika.
Exactly as the title states: how the movie Alien was made.
Continuing the theme of movies about movies, this was interesting to watch, but much of it was obvious and needed little explanation. The interviews were on-topic and people said some good stuff. There was information included that fans of the series will find interesting. People from the cast and crew go into great detail about who had worked with whom before and selecting who would be working on this film. Technically speaking, the audio and video were great. I guess the real question of it's quality would be making the viewer want to watch Alien. I do, so it seems successful to me. Overall, great for those who like Alien lots and know little about how films are made. I rate this adequate.

Alex & Emma (2003)

An American romantic comedy directed by Rob Reiner, starring Kate Hudson and Luke Wilson.
A writer has borrowed money from the Cuban mafia and they will kill him if he does not finish his book and pay them in a month. He hires a woman stenographer to help him write faster and falls in love with her. The main character in the book is torn between the love for two women. When the stenographer finds that this is also the case in real life, her feelings for the writer change.
This started out badly and got worse as it went. The plot was typical of modern romantic comedies, but utilized a slightly different time-frame, with most of the events at the beginning and end. The characters were terrible. The main character was annoying and his acting sucked. The romantic interest was only slightly better. The video was the only good aspect. As the writer dictates his book and discusses it with the stenographer, the viewer sees what they are talking about, complete with changing cast and other video tricks. The audio was pretty standard. I could hear the dialogue and the soundtrack music was correctly mixed. Overall, standard American romantic comedy with some cool video effects. I rate it poor because I hate the genre.

Leprechaun 6: Back 2 tha Hood (2003)

An American horror comedy written and directed by Steven Ayromlooi, starring Warwick Davis.
A group of ghetto-ass hood-rat niggers find the leprechaun's gold and spend it on foolish purchases. He comes after them to get his gold back.
This is the second worst leprechaun film, following the one without Warwick Davis. The plot was threadbare and absurd. There was too much darkie drama and not enough leprechaun. The stereotypical characters hurt the film in this case. I watched the "hood" leprechaun films right in a row like tearing off a band-aid or drinking Robitussin, just to get them over with. I'm glad that's done. There was a good special effect when the leprechaun tore off the cop's leg. Yes, the leprechaun smokes a bong (picture). Overall, a piece of crap. I rate this bad. DO NOT WATCH!

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. A.K.A. Gojira Mosura Mekagojira Tōkyō Esu Ō Esu (2003)

A Japanese daikaiju science fiction directed by Masaaki Tezuka.
This is a sequel to Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla from the previous year. It continues the adventures of Godzilla, his mechanized skeleton and adds Mothra, bringing this specific plot to a conclusion.
It's good to see a sequel Godzilla movie AFTER the first one. It happened totally by chance. It's also cool that they even made a continuation, as most of these films are stand-alone entries with occasional references to previous episodes. This was very similar to Against Mecha, but I thought the camera-work and scene staging was a little less impressive. It lacked the "OH WOW!" shots like Mecha's head crashing through an office. This picture doesn't look like a screen-shot and I'll probably get in trouble for it. If it's yours', let me know and I will change it. Overall, a decent entry on the list. I rate it adequate.