A British crime thriller directed by Alfred Hitchcock, starring Charles Laughton and Maureen O'Hara.
A young woman goes to stay with her aunt, but finds there are criminals there, working for a rich man who lives nearby.
Michael Medved put this in his "The Fifty Worst Films of All Time" book, and for good reason. The video was all underexposed and the audio was full of loud background noise that chopped off abruptly for indoor scenes. This was to the point that it physically hurt to watch. I got a headache from it. The plot could not hold my attention and was not clearly presented. There were too many characters with not enough screen time to identify them. All of the rich guy's servants and all of the criminals were just a mess. The rich guy also had old guests who just sat at the table for a single scene. Dialogue was a major problem because of wave sounds. There was no whisper acting, but sometimes even shouting would not cut through the waves. There was also fast talking and in British dialect, making it nearly incoherent to this American. Point is, I don't think there was anything that was not a problem in this. When I go looking for images of 16:9 films, I get 4:3 chopdowns, so obviously I found tons of 16:9 chopdowns of this 4:3 movie. I rate it shit because it actually did hurt to watch. DO NOT WATCH!
A British war documentary by Alexander Korda.
The British response to Nazi Germany's actions in World War II is shown.
HORRIBLE! I lost interest around 15 minutes into this. The plot was simplistic and there were no actual characters. The black and white video was unstimulating to say the least. Even the close-ups of bullet making machines rubbed me the wrong way. The honky, midrange-biased audio was extremely annoying. In fact, there was nothing to like about this. I turned it off after half-watching, totally distracted around the 50 minute mark. I rate this shit and it IS shit. DO NOT WATCH!!!
A British war film directed by Zoltan Korda.
A British soldier assigned to India resigns, but feels like a coward for doing so. His army buddies send him white feathers to signify this "coward status" and he sets out to prove them wrong.
This was not so great. The plot barely held my attention. The three main characters were developed fully though. We've already been over how I like oversaturated technicolor video and the audio was similar to The Drum (1938). It was cranked to distortion levels and again ended in blown-out gunfire. There was a running joke with an old man telling a repeated story at the dinner table and using food to represent people (picture). Overall, not so hot. I rate this poor. You might not want to watch it.
An American western musical directed by Sam Newfield, starring Tex Fletcher.
A cowboy turned football player returns to his hometown to find that his lawman father is missing and a gang of outlaws now run the town.
This is very representative of the old western genre. It had a charismatic lead male singing cowboy, ridiculous comic refief sidekick, outlaws, editing mistakes, audio and video artifacts, loud dead-air hiss and spotty camera exposure. If you pay careful attention, you'll notice that Fletcher plays guitar left-handed (even though he mimes this activity in the film).
Wikipedia has a little info that I really like about Fletcher:
"He drove from town to town with his own 16mm print of "Six Gun Rhythm,"
custom made Martin D-42 guitar and his cowboy outfits in the back seat.
He would perform a few songs, show the picture, sign autographs and then
move on to the next town. This action is what many believe to be the
reason the B-Western has enjoyed such a long shelf life and has been
held in such high esteem among collectors, as it would have otherwise
been virtually unknown."
For being such a prime example of the genre, I rate it adequate and the Wikipedia quote made me decide to keep it. If you've been watching or reading about these '30s and '40s westerns, this would definitely be one to watch.
An American musical western directed by Joseph Kane, starring Roy Rogers.
A group of border patrol cowboy/soldiers detain a woman who is supposed to cross the Mexican border to marry a man who owns a mine there.
This just seemed very old to me. The plot was a little vague or murky in some areas, but the main characters were clearly identifiable and easy to keep track of. The audio and video were very old and not the best, but not bad. There was one scene where I noticed good directing. The male lead duo were getting on their horses in unison and I thought it looked cool. The songs were good, with the exception of the intro "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" which I found annoying. Overall, pretty standard and blends into the crowd of old westerns I've been watching. I rate it tolerable.
An American western musical directed by Joseph Kane, starring Roy Rogers.
A singing cowboy is accused of wrongdoing that he did not do and is imprisoned in the basement of a wealthy landowner. The landowner is about to let him out to hear his story when the landowner is shot. Thinking that the cowboy is now a murderer, the landowner's son chases him as harriers seek a golden orb.
The plot was extremely vague and not communicated clearly. The main characters were identifiable, but everyone else got lost in the shuffle. The musical numbers were dispersed tastefully throughout the film and other characters sang with the cowboy. The style was very much of the times, video had some underexposures and the audio was a little scratchy in places. I rate it poor.
An American western directed by Joseph Kane, starring Roy Rogers.
A train is held up by the infamous outlaw, but he lets an old man and young woman get away with their money. The old man puts his large sum of money in a bank, which is subsequently robbed. The old man gets excited and goes out to look for the thieves.
The plot was rather vague and murky in most sections and I had trouble distinguishing between the many cowboys. There was a single musical number, which was repeated. I thought this was pretty stereotypical of westerns from that time. I rate it tolerable.
An American animated fantasy comedy directed by Dave Fleischer.
The prince of one kingdom and the princess of another are about to get married. Unable to decide upon a song for the wedding, the kings declare war. A giant man is found on the beach of the princess' kingdom and he help to solve the problem.
The animation style is very primitive and very American. This is most evident in character design. It is also the element of the film that I found most annoying. The voice acting was also annoying to me. The plot was basic with only a few main characters. I know it's the first non-Disney American animated full length film. I am unimpressed. Poor rating. Only watch it if you're really into the historical value.
An American comedy horror directed by Allan Dwan, starring Bela Lugosi, The Ritz Brothers and Patsy Kelly.
A murderer called "The Gorilla" announces that he is going to kill a rich man who lives in a mansion. A team of 3 detectives is called in to solve the case. Unfortunately, there is also a real gorilla in the house as well.
This was really bad. The plot was very stock and the audio/video quality was quite low. There were some alright characters in Bela Lugosi, the stupid detectives and the maid. That loudmouth maid was the only good part of the film to me. I think Patsy Kelly was all kinds of ooh la la. I found the physical humor to be very lowbrow. Since one attractive character can't make a crappy movie good, I rate this bad. The picture is Patsy Kelly so you don't have to watch the movie to see who I'm talking about.
An American drama directed by George Cukor, starring Joan Crawford.
A woman in New York has friends at a clothing store and a husband. She learns from her friends that her husband is cheating on her. She gets a divorce and moves to a lesbian farm in Reno for a little while. When she moves back to New York, she hears juicy gossip about the homewrecker who married her husband.
This was pretty boring, except for the ending. Using an entirely female cast with a plot that involves marriage and affairs was a unique idea. The line that describes the film best is spoken at 2 hours and 12 minutes: "There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society... ...outside of a kennel". I was watching the whole time thinking that this should have been called The Bitches and here comes a character in the film to put my thought into the perfect words. The women stab backs and gossip through 2 hours in black and white video. In the middle, there is a color scene of an interminable fashion show. My biggest disappointment about this film was no female anatomy points! Overall, you're better off just reading the line of dialogue and skipping the movie. I rate it poor.
An American romance directed by Edward H. Griffith, starring Fred MacMurray.
A woman who runs a department store has her future told by a fortune teller and it comes true.
Momma don't want no peas no rice no coconut oil. The child in the film shouts this phrase repeatedly and I found it to be most annoying. The hour and 40 minute duration was also annoyingly long. I don't like romance films and the early date of this one didn't help matters any. The harsh and treble-biased audio was also terrible. I rate this bad. Do not watch!
An American comedy directed by A. Edward Sutherland, starring Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy.
A man tries to get a woman to marry him. When she declines the offer, he brings his friend to a river to drown themselves. A policeman sees this and convinces them to join the foreign legion.
The physical comedy wasn't very funny, but it wasn't a bad film. The plot and characters were clear and I could see and hear everything just fine. The style reminded me of Abbott and Costello for obvious reasons. There was a joke that I did get in which Laurel plays the strings of a cot as if it were a harp. I'm rating this adequate and would recommend it if you don't really care what you're watching.
An American romantic drama film directed by Tay Garnett.
A woman leaves her husband because she thinks that he is being unfaithful. A mutual friend invites both of them on a vacation together with their new spouses.
The simple plot would have taken much less time to tell the story of without so much filler. The characters were difficult to differentiate because of similar clothing and hair styles. The style was typical of the time that this was made and the pacing was overly slow. The audio was crackly and distorted, but the soundtrack was actually good. One of the themes reminded me of a theme from Final Fantasy VII as the characters are first leaving Midgar. The video was obviously in black and white and a tad on the grainy and blurry side. I'm rating it bad because I don't like romantic films and thought it was mostly filler. I would advise against watching it unless you really like old romance movies.
An American action war film directed by Howard Bretherton.
A young man in the air force doesn't want to be there, but is forced to stay and even forced to cheat on his flying test. He then becomes involved in a mission regarding an unidentified plane and some stolen goods.
Being from 1939, the presentation was not the clearest, mostly because the audio and video sucked so badly. It was possible to identify some characters and follow some of the plot. The style was absolutely prehistoric, including the antiquated phraseology. I won't trounce it just for being old, but it definitely is dated and I'm rating it poor for this reason. Just watch something else.
An American romance by Leo McCarey.Two engaged people meet on a boat and fall in love.The plot and characters were so simple that a 3 year old could have put this together. The style was very basic and the production value was prehistoric. I can't say anything good about it, but it didn't piss me off, so I rate it bad.
An American drama directed by Walter Lang, starring Shirley Temple.A girl's father leaves her at a boarding school while he goes to fight in a war. The girl is given first class treatment because her father has money. When news that the father has died comes through, the girl is made into a maid. She repeatedly checks the army hospital for signs of her father, whom she believes to be alive.Shirley Temple was probably an MK Ultra mind control slave who was given a photographic memory by means of trauma based mind control programming. How else would a child of her age learn so many songs, dances and acting sequences (lines, postures)? Google results say that this could be a definite possibility, as when I typed in "Shirley Temple mind control" I got what I was looking for. This film, like others, features her as an abandoned child who makes friends with older men. This is similar to what her activities outside of acting would be (sexually pleasuring rich old men). Notice the masonic fleur de-lis atop Shirley's crown in this picture. It ain't there by accident. I actually liked the movie for some odd reason. It must have held my attention with it's pedophile mind control triggers. I'm rating it good, mostly because it gave me something to write about.
An American drama directed by John Cromwell.The police are trying to get a wanted man who is hiding in an old and nasty part of the city.The plot was extremely boring and not much happened. Otherwise, it was just another crappy old movie. I'm rating it bad because it is.
A romance directed by Victor Fleming.I'm breaking the mold here to give a warning. When Wikipedia lists "the best films ever" or some such shite, they don't mean it. I've watched a few of these things and NEVER have they EVER gotten a "green" review. Also, where's "Holy Mountain"? Where's "Fritz the Cat"? They aren't on that list because the list is based on popular opinion. So, it's not the BEST films, it's the MOST POPULAR films.Anyway, "Gone with the Wind" is 3 hours and 52 minutes long. After 30 minutes, it was looking to seem like 6 hours. Things looked pretty bleak as southern belles arranged their skirts and slaves served their "massas", so I turned it off. By the way, the picture is of the first few minutes of the movie. really grabs your attention, doesn't it?I'm hereby instituting a 45 minute rule. If a film does not capture my interest in 45 minutes AND there is more than an hour left AND I want to turn it off, I will. I will, however state why in my review so that you might know better and avoid disappointing flop-flicks.
A drama written and directed by Jean Renoir.A group of french socialites spend their time stealing, sneaking behind eachother's backs and trying to steal eachother's spouses and lovers.The audio was in french and subtitles were provided. the video was in black and white and full screen.check out: The "negress" music box. Racial slurs were o.k. in this time period, but men and women sharing a bed was not. The world is a strange place.Have you seen a 1995 film called "Kids"? Imagine that, only before world war 2 and with people in their 20s and 30s instead of teens. Obviously, the content is a little tamer, but the idea is the same. The same level of permiscuity, theft and violent confrontations is still present. If you liked "Kids", then you need to see this. Just for culture shock.
