American comedies directed by Harold Ramis, Amy Heckerling and Jeremiah S. Chechik, starring Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo.
Mr. Griswold tries to show his family a good time on hollidays, but things never go as planned.
Another set! I have to take these back-logged movies down as efficiently as possible. This set, like Indiana Jones, peaked in the middle. I like European Vacation most because it was still funny and fresh at that point, but without Aunt Edna. I think Edna really crapped on the middle of the first film. My favorite scene from European was shopping for Italian clothes. The French waiter mocking the Griswolds was funny and, holding a personal grudge against a douche-hound myself, seeing one jump off the Eiffel Tower was cool. Chevy Chase is an alright actor, but I liked him more in Caddyshack (1980). He seems a little too goofy in Lampoon's Vacations, but has Beverly D'Angelo to play the "straight man" for his funny man act. What really bothers me about this set is switching actors for the children in every film. They seem to be teenagers in European and it almost works, but are back to small children in Christmas. I have not included the newer films because I just plain don't like them and won't watch them (yet). I rate this set o.k. and would recommend European over the others.
An American comedy directed by Stan Dragoti, starring Michael Keaton and Teri Garr.
A man loses his job and his wife gets a new one, so he has to stay home and take care of their kids.
I would describe this as a very "low impact" film. It's really easy to just watch through and laugh about a few jokes. The vacuum cleaner, washing machine and the boy's blanket are funny to me. The humor in this film is the opposite of Clerks and Jay and Silent Bob. That was crude and this is benign. The humor springs from mundane situations which are widely recognizable through common experience of many viewers. A man who has never faced a washing machine with no clue of how to run it is not a man. I can totally understand the husband wearing the same clothes all the time and growing a beard. I do the same thing. I may have trouble getting really into daytime TV soap operas though. I liked how militant and authoritarian the people at an elementary school were about driveway direction. I've seen those people in real life. I rate this good because it's realistic, easy to watch and has some good "clean" humor.
An Italian Giallo horror directed by Lamberto Bava.
A musician is working on a film score for a horror film. People start disappearing around his rental house and seem to have been murdered.
Really trashy. The plot failed to hold my attention and I didn't care what happened next or to the characters. One point that was not explained was the reason for all the nudie magazines. Video was alright, but the English dubbing was cited as "some of the worst to be inflicted upon any giallo" (Howarth 2015). It sounded worse than some 1930s films. The soundtrack was pretty creepy and sounded good. It reminded me of the Phenomena (1985) theme, but obviously not as good or long. This film illustrayed many of the reasons why I tend to dislike Italian cinema. I rate it bad. Don't watch it.
An American action adventure series directed by Hal Needham and Dick Lowry, starring Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Mike Henry, Paul Williams and Pat McCormick.
A father and son team set a challenge for a truck and racecar driver team to travel a certain distance within a time limit. A Texas sheriff and his son chase them.
I know I already reviewed this long ago, but I watched the whole series and it seems right that it should have a new review. The first film was great. It had a very clear plot and developed characters that the viewer would care about. The shot compositions were also great. It was followed by 2 lackluster sequels which did not live up to the first film's standards. There were a few repeated scenes, scenarios and jokes that I feel should be mentioned when discussing this as a series. The idea of escaping from lawmen obviously appeals to me. If you refer to my review of Gone in 60 Seconds (1974), you will see how much I enjoy the destruction of automobiles. The soundtrack style developed in the first film continues through the series, but on a downhill trend toward the last film. Another point to note is HAM radio communications with entertaining handles for each radio operator. The last point is the family name of the men who arrange the race. Although the subtitles refer to them as "Enos" through the whole series, the 3rd film has a logo with their name on it spelled "Enis". Having characters named Big Enis and Little Enis amused me quite a bit. I would still rate the first film good and recommend it for any audience. However, the sequels would only be rated adequate.
An Italian American fantasy directed by Luigi Cozzi, starring Lou Ferrigno, Brad Harris and Sybil Danning.
Hercules must defeat Minos and save Cassiopea.
This was cheesy like only Luigi Cozzi can do. Knowing Greek mythology, some of the plot made no sense and it seemed like characters and quests were thrown in a hat to be chosen at random. Dedalos was a woman and the labyrinth held no minotaur. That was a Theseus story anyway. Circe actually helped Hercules, unlike what she did to Ulysses and his sailors. The acting was not terrible, but could have used some work. I liked how I could tell how every special effect was done. They would be easy in Premiere Pro, but with actual film, things would have been difficult. I would only recommend this if you like even cheesier movies than I do. I rate it tolerable because it sucked, but there were some laughs along the way.
A Chinese wuxia directed by Ching Siu-tung.
A group from Japan arrives in China. They arrange a duel between their swordsman and a Chinese swordsman, but other people are trying to influence the outcome of the duel.
There were some good special effects, but the rest was unimpressive. The convoluted plot contained too many characters (surprised?). I think the story of the duel and the characters of the two swordsmen got neglected in favor of minor plot elements like the romantic interest that doesn't work out. The acting seemed professional and very wuxia, not cheezy like kung fu. The subtitles came with this one and worked. I thought the translated dialogue was dull and lifeless. Even the momentary appearance of a comic relief character seemed like dead pan delivery of plot outline writing. Sets and costumes looked authentic, but seemed to be community property with every other Chinese film of the kung fu and wuxia genres. All of the camera-work was very dynamic, to use a positive word. Quick takes, lots of camera movement and quick editing. It wasn't as fast as Chinese Ghost Story, but pretty quick. The actual fights were just special effects scenes with flying people and objects. There was also some prolific stage blood, dismemberment and decapitation. I'm not spoiling anything by telling that the decapitated head explodes. Some of the "flying character" shots were obviously done by a person jumping and grabbing a tree. It looked absurd. The audio was not so great, but not kung fu bad. Someone in the process seemed to be paying attention to sound levels most of the time. The style reminded me of 5 Element Ninjas mixed with Legend of Liquid Sword and Killer of Snakes Fox of Shaolin. IMDB has a listed rating of 7.3/10 and Rotten Tomatoes lists 83% audience score for an average of 78%. I agree completely. It's a regular C+ wuxia because the plot got buried under a load of junk, but the special effects were entertaining. I rate it adequate.
A Canadian slasher directed by Richard Ciupka, starring John Vernon and Samantha Eggar.
An actress intentionally gets admitted to a mental hospital to do research in order to play the part of a crazy woman. The director does not have her released as agreed and invites other women to be cast for the part. Someone starts killing people, as always.
Another crappy movie... An hour and 26 minutes seemed like a long time. I don't think the plot was clearly communicated. There were dreams, imagination sequences and missing time, none of which were clearly identified. Characters were pitiful, except the female lead and she was just barely 3 dimensional. The dialogue was not written all that well and the acting was not bad, but not good either. Sets and costumes were pitiful too. "We got this ugly mask, let's write a plot around it!" Camera-work and editing were actually not too shabby. I liked the scene when the woman gets out of the car to examine a doll in the road. Good framing and composition were seen in various areas. The ice skating scene also looked good. There was some special effect blood, as with most slasher flicks. Audio was mixed decently. I would have raised the dialogue just a tiny bit. The soundtrack piece for the ice skating scene was very much of the time. This has 5.8/10 on IMDB and 60% tomatometer, 39% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. 52.3% average is just slightly low. I rate it poor, mostly because it failed to hold my attention.
A British American drama directed by Nicolas Roeg, starring Gene Hackman, Mickey Rourke and Joe Pesci.
A gold miner makes a discovery and becomes rich in 1925. Years later, he fears that his daughter and her boyfriend are trying to get his money. There are also mobsters who actually are out to get his money.
What was that? I have very little idea of what I watched. The plot was not communicated clearly. Scenes would happen and seem to have apparent meaning, but what came after would make it seem like it was a dream or someone telling a story. Far from feeling like I knew the characters personally, frequent costume and acting changes kept me guessing who the characters were. The video was done quite well, once we discount the story-telling aspect. The scenes that looked best were set in 1925 when the man was surrounded by wolves or walking through the cave full of gold. The audio was passable. I could hear everything and it was mixed properly. Overall, this failed to meet one of the primary objectives of film in general: to tell a story. Subsequently, I have to rate it poor.
A British drama written and directed by Mike Leigh, starring Tim Roth and Gary Oldman.
A young man lives with his parents and older brother. The brother is a little bit controlling and none of them have worked in a long time. The main character is romantically interested in a woman whom he sees at the pub and laundry-mat. He visits her apartment with his skinhead friend. He is asked by his aunt to help her paint inside her house, but the controlling brother arrives and talks him out of it.
This is one of Leigh's most famous films and it fits his style very well. Never one for clearly defined plots, Leigh made sure that it seemed like the viewer was following some Brits around for no real reason. Characters were what this was about and their personalities and interactions were expanded upon to a deep and meaningful level. The video was basic and standard of the time. The brothers sitting together for a cathartic conversation at the end reminded me of Life is Sweet (1990) with sisters doing the same thing. I'm sure that there are other similarities between the two films, but don't really feel like doing that research right now. The audio featured a piano piece that was repeated in multiple scenes and some very British punk rock. Some of the dialogue was unclear because of heavy accents and cockney slang. Fortunately for me, the version I got came with Spanish subtitles, so I got the general idea of what was being said. As an interesting side note, this film featured both of the lead actors from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (1990). On first watching, this film seems like all of Mike Leigh's other work: what just happened (if anything)? I am sure, though, that upon further viewing, it's secret beauty will be revealed like other Mike Leigh films. I have to give it a weird pink rating because my opinion of it will change with time.
An American comedy directed by John Landis, starring Dan Aykroyd, Eddie Murphy, Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche.
The two owners of a stock trading company set up a scam to have one of their employees reduced to a hobo and have a hobo put in his place. They bet a dollar on it, but the misplaced hobo and stock trader find out and have to set up another scam on the company owners.
This wasn't all that great. Most of the humor just was not funny. I thought that they over-expanded the plot from too simple a premise and the characters lacked depth and were not developed in any way. The pacing was my main issue. It seemed to take almost forever for anything to happen. Technical aspects of audio and video were fine, but I think it was just badly written. Overall, a well made, but mediocre film. I rate it poor because I won't tolerate mediocrity here.
An American crime drama directed by Francis Ford Coppola, starring Matt Dillon, Mickey Rourke, Nicolas Cage and Dennis Hopper.
A violent gang leader has a crazy brother who returns to town after a long absence and an alcoholic father.
This was alright, I guess. It was all in black and white except the Japanese fighting fish from the pet store. The plot seemed to go nowhere and the characters were static as fuck. The camera-work was AMAZING! They got some really good shots that were artsy and illustrated the scenes very well. Overall, a really good looking nothing. Hey, it was cool to watch, but lacked substance. I rate it adequate.
An American animated fantasy adventure by Ralph Bakshi and Frank Frazetta.
Due to a North/South war between regular folks in the south and ice magicians in the north, a southern princess is captured, rescued, recaptured and re-rescued as southern warriors fight off northern warriors on their way to battle the ice wizards.
Ralph Bakshi is amazing and Frank Frazetta's artwork is awesome. They must have been thinking "If we work together and rotoscope the animation, that would be brilliant!", right? Nope. Mediocre was the outcome. It's like mixing bright yellow and purple paint: each part is great, but they make muddy brown when they get together. Enough talking shit about my favorite artists. What was good? I liked the pencil drawings in the intro and female anatomy points were not at a shortage. Teegra's rotoscoped boobs moved very naturally. There were some monsters like a giant lizard and wild dogs/wolves that I couldn't tell if they were composited and rotoscoped or just plain animated. The music/soundtrack was kind of epic. Don't get me wrong, there were some good elements to this film. However, as a whole, it was sub-par and standard. I rate it o.k. Watch it, but don't expect any magic.
An Italian adventure directed by Enzo Doria and Luigi Russo.
Adam and Eve are in the garden of Eden and eat the forbidden apple. Suddenly, things aren't so great anymore and they face countless difficulties.
This was not so great. The plot and characters were presented clearly, but I did not like them. The pacing was kind of jumpy, with slow sections between action sequences. The style reminded me of spaghetti westerns. My favorite part was the poorly made "running from the boulder" scene. I'm rating it o.k. because had it's lo-fi charm, but was not good.
An American western adventure directed by Tom McGowan, starring Maurice Grandmaison.
Religious pioneers travel, take many wives and settle land.
If it weren't for the blatant mormonist propaganda, this would have been a really good movie. The video all looked really good with nice, clean shots showing exactly what was going on. The audio was a little rough, but not too shabby. The plot and characters were VERY clearly communicated. I watched this in about 3-4 chunks between doing other things and STILL the plot popped for me! I was interested in what was happenning all the way through. For me to be that distracted and still keep track of the movie, it has to be very well made. I'm rating this adequate and it's a keeper. The detracting factor is the obvious religious overtones.
A Canadian animated science fiction musical directed by Clive A. Smith.
A band that is just starting out lets their female vocalist sing. She is heard by a rock star mad scientist magician who is planning to summon a horrible beast using the power of the girl's voice. He captures her and her band has to save her from him.
This could have been really cool. The sexuality and drug references are Bakshiesque, but everything else is lacking that certain something that puts Ralph's films over the top. The plot lacked continuity and was vague in some parts. The characters were just thrown at the viewer as if they had already been developed in another film. Since they fit so nicely into archetypes known from everything else, the development had actually occurred. I really liked the character design and the backgrounds looked cool too. The animation was a little bit uneven. Some scenes were great and others seemed lazily thrown together. Same with the pacing. At points when drawing things out would help, they rushed and when rushing was necessary, it slowed down. I thought the soundtrack sounded way more '70s than the '83 release date would indicate. The scope of the film felt small. For example, when you watch a Bakshi film like Fritz The Cat, you can imagine what might be going on off-screen. The details that you can see would allow you to fill in the blanks. Fritz smoking pot with the crow woman and all you can see is the junkyard? You know what they're doing and what it would look like. What about in that apartment over there? You know it's full of animals doing '60s stuff, right? In this film, that doesn't happen. Wizards felt big like there was a whole world full of crazy stuff off-screen and you were seeing that individual story happenning in that world. This was just what you see. Nothing else. I rate this o.k. because of inconsistency and feeling small.
An animated fantasy directed by John Korty and Charles Swenson.
A pair of unlikely heroes get caught up in an adventure involving time manipulation and dreams while they're taking out the garbage. First they get tricked into stealing a spring from a clock that controls all time. While time is stopped, the makers of good dreams are kidnapped and the vultures that bring bad dreams place nightmare bombs in the real world. The villain constructs a button to detonate these bombs and sends out his best vulture to put the spring back into the clock so that he can detonate the nightmare bombs once time starts again.
The animation style was definitely unique, apparently involving pieces of colored plastic that were moved on a light table as well as (seemingly) standard cartoon style and live action. The plot and characters were pretty standard, but not bad. I really liked the humor that was used because it was so straight forward and lightly peppered with foul language. I'm rating this awesome.
I know I've been reviewing a few good movies recently, but I promise to add some horrible shite soon. All this good reviewing is building up a windup punch for the next bad one.
A comedy adventure directed by Mel Damski, starring Cheech and Chong.An infamous pirate escapes from jail to regain his buried treasure. He enlists his son and some of his son's friends to help him.The humor was very dry and British. I didn't get it. The plot and characters were murky and the style and production value were less than acceptable. I'm rating this poor because it's not all that great.
A horror directed by Steven Spielberg, Jeannot Szwarc, Joe Alves and Joseph Sargent, starring Richard Dreyfuss, Roy Scheider, Dennis Quaid and Lorraine Gary.
A big shark shows up and starts killing people.
The first 2 films were alright, but after that, it got boring. The plot got stale and the style stayed the same throughout the series. Apparently, there's only so much a film maker can do with shark attacks. This review isn't short because I'm lazy. It's short because the films were so simple. I'm rating the series o.k.
A science fiction directed by Anthony M. Dawson.A man travels around a primitive land, saving people he meets by using violence. He then brings 2 of his friends with him to a feared island where a futuristic civilization is run by a fascist leader.This has got to be some of the worst '80s cheese ever created. I kept having to remind myself it's "Yor", not "you're" the hunter from the future. All of the other characters had equally ludicrous names. The style and production value were terrible, but the plot was alright. I'm rating this poor for low quality.
A fantasy directed by Jack Clayton, produced by the Disney corporation.A carnival comes to a town of unhappy people and pretends to grant them their fondest wishes.There were some decent special effects in this. They didn't go for anything too advanced for the time period in which it was made, which meant that it stayed tasteful. The plot was a little lacking and the characters were stereotypical, but what do you expect from disney? I have to rate it o.k.
