An American musical drama by Jim Henson, starring Frank Oz and Dave Goelz.
A young otter and his mother are poor. The boy does odd repair jobs and the mother works in textiles (sewing, knitting, laundry). In preparation for a talent show, they both steal the other's main tools to complete their acts.
Gift of the Magi with puppets and a happy ending. I watched a version which combined the 2 televised versions into a single video, which I was glad to find out when it was explained at the end. Among "folks who can do no wrong", Jim Henson is high on the list. The puppetry and production may seem quaint and antiquated by today's CG standards, but I like them more. The River Bottom Nightmare Band even played proto-metal at the talent show. I don't want to type any more about this because I rate it awesome and you should watch it.
A Swedish Australian musical drama directed by Lasse Hallström.
A Radio host follows an ABBA tour, trying to get an interview with the band. There are also ABBA performances and music videos.
I had honestly not heard this music before watching the film. From a technical view, the audio and video were great. It was filmed in Panavision, so the colors and contrast all looked right. The audio was recorded very well. The radio DJ has such trouble finding a way to interview the band and his segments were filmed and edited wonderfully as well. I just don't like ABBA. Their music and image seem engineered and manufactured to me. Like someone said "wear these costumes and play major chords. You can't lose.". The white guitar (image) is pretty cool though. I rate this o.k. because it was made so excellently about music I don't like.
An American action adventure series directed by Hal Needham and Dick Lowry, starring Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Mike Henry, Paul Williams and Pat McCormick.
A father and son team set a challenge for a truck and racecar driver team to travel a certain distance within a time limit. A Texas sheriff and his son chase them.
I know I already reviewed this long ago, but I watched the whole series and it seems right that it should have a new review. The first film was great. It had a very clear plot and developed characters that the viewer would care about. The shot compositions were also great. It was followed by 2 lackluster sequels which did not live up to the first film's standards. There were a few repeated scenes, scenarios and jokes that I feel should be mentioned when discussing this as a series. The idea of escaping from lawmen obviously appeals to me. If you refer to my review of Gone in 60 Seconds (1974), you will see how much I enjoy the destruction of automobiles. The soundtrack style developed in the first film continues through the series, but on a downhill trend toward the last film. Another point to note is HAM radio communications with entertaining handles for each radio operator. The last point is the family name of the men who arrange the race. Although the subtitles refer to them as "Enos" through the whole series, the 3rd film has a logo with their name on it spelled "Enis". Having characters named Big Enis and Little Enis amused me quite a bit. I would still rate the first film good and recommend it for any audience. However, the sequels would only be rated adequate.
An American erotic musical comedy directed by Michael Pataki and produced by Charles Band.
An altered re-telling of the Cinderella story.
I found this to be lewdly funny. Some of my favorite alterations were the fairy godmother being a black man and the prince looking for the girl whose pussy fit correctly. The fairy godmother's magic wand is something that must be seen in action to be appreciated. The video style looked very much like Charles Banmd's later work with Subspecies and Puppet Master. The acting and singing seemed second rate, with the main focus being on nudity and prurient jokes. I'm not writing about this because I have much to say, but because of the strange combination of genres. I rate it adequate.
A French Spanish romance directed by Luis Bunuel, starring Fernando Rey, Carole Bouquet and Angela Molina.
An older man tells the story of his relationship with a younger woman to passengers on a train. The woman has lead him on, only to turn him away multiple times.
Slightly odd and inconclusive, but interesting. The plot held my attention mostly because Conchita treated the main character so poorly. He was also always getting robbed by her male friends. I did care about what happened to the characters, but I can't decide whether I liked Conchita or not. There were some very funny lines of dialogue that were spoken by the butler. He was a master of Stephen Chow style deadpan delivery humor. Seeing that it was a story told in flashbacks, some narration would have been cool. Some people hate narration, but I tend to like it. The costumes and sets were pretty mundane, except the back room dance show (image and female anatomy points). Camera-work and editing were very smooth and stable. I think the style that Bunuel was going for was seamless and it worked correctly. Most of the audio was in French and I found English subtitles that worked when adjusted correctly. There was also some Spanish spoken with no subtitles or subtitles in Spanish. IMDb lists a rating of 8/10, AllMovie lists 4/5 AllMovie Rating with 4.5/5 User Ratings and Rotten Tomatoes lists 100% Tomatometer with 90% Audience Score for an average of 88%. I think that's a little high, but internet consensus indicates that if I think a film is mundane, most people will like it. I rate this o.k. because there are much better things to watch, but it held my interest.
An Italian exploitation directed by Joe D'Amato, starring Donald O'Brien.
A journalist is covering a psych ward to get a story when a girl with a bad case of cannibalism comes in. The journalist befriends an archaeologist who knows about South American cannibals and they go to find the flesh eaters.
Mostly soft-core porn. The plot seemed disjointed, desultory and secondary to sex scenes. Character development? Playboys and sluts. Oh, and cannibals (intentionally an afterthought). The acting didn't seem too bad. Folks knew their lines, but what they said was basic, plot-driven and flat like Stephen Chow deadpan delivery jokes flat. My favorite line was Emanuelle saying "I have a plan and I think it will work." Oh good. I didn't want to hear about a plan that you don't think will work. The city looked like a city, but the jungle looked a little northern. I know one of these cannibal flicks was shot in a park in England and it might be this one. Of course, I appreciated some lack of costumes (female anatomy points). The camera-work looked like the same first year film student or TROMA employee shot it that shot Contamination (1980). There was also clearly second-hand alligator/crocodile footage that looked totally different from the rest of the movie. The special effect that stood out was a dude getting cut in half. When the camera showed his upper torso hanging, his arms are still posed like he's standing (image). The audio was a little gritty, a little clippy and the music was too loud. I was unsurprised by this. IMDb lists a rating of 5.3/10 and Rotten Tomatoes lists a 25% Audience Score for an average of 39%. That seems about right. Sometimes consensus is correct. I rate this bad. DO NOT WATCH!
A Chinese kung fu directed by Lau Kar-leung, starring Chen Kuan-tai, Wong Yue, Lo Lieh and Gordon Liu.
The legendary Pai Mei destroys Shaolin temple and sends the monks fleeing. One of the monks who specializes in tiger claw meets a woman who specializes in crane style. They have a son and the father goes off to get revenge on Pai Mei while the son learns crane style from his mother. Eventually, the father stops returning from his battles and the son finds an incomplete book of tiger style to learn from before facing Pai Mei himself.
Lots of fighting and styles to talk about. The plot initially seemed to get bogged down in the wedding section, but picked up into... Nobody would ever guess... Revenge! The son was an interesting character because his mother dressed him as a female and there was a comic relief character in the beginning who got lost around the middle. Everyone else was exactly as expected. The English subtitled dialogue did not hold my interest much, but there was tons of discussion on who is the better fighter and which animal style they used. Pai Mei was acted just like in Kill Bill and all of the other kung fu films I've seen. He didn't flip his beard though. The fighting is what to watch this for. I would seriously recommend skipping the first half for this reason. The training for rematches reminded me of Kung Pow! Enter the Fist (2002). We also had Pai Mei and tiger-crane style, clearly referenced in Kill Bill. One of the main plot points in Pai Mei's fights was that he would grab the opponent's foot with his dick. The sets looked expensive and there were lots of locations like boats, towns, temples, forests, the family's home... I noticed the son's costume most because he was dressed like a girl. Camera-work followed the old kung fu standard, but was not bad. I can see everything that's happening in these old Chinese flicks, unlike some more modern films. There weren't special effects like flying or energy blasts, just standard editing cuts during some sections of the fights that would be physically impossible otherwise. The audio was not bad, but in Chinese and seemed to follow the early kung fu trend of not having enough music. IMDb has a 7.1/10 rating listed, AllMovie has 2.5/5 AllMovie rating with 3.5/5 user ratings and Rotten Tomatoes lists 68% audience score for an average of 64.75%. I think an F grade is a little bit low and again, it's because AllMovie rated extremely low. This is actually better than Fist of Fury, but not good enough to get a green rating. I rate it adequate and would recommend it for hardcore kung fu fans.
An Australian mystery thriller directed by Peter Weir, starring Richard Chamberlain.
A lawyer takes on the case of some aboriginal men accused of murder and finds that his dreams have something to do with their beliefs.
This was alright. The hour and 39 minute duration seemed sparsely populated because the content happened at a relatively slow pace. The plot was almost interesting, but fell just short of really holding my attention. I thought the characters seemed a little bit shallow or poorly written. The dialogue and acting seemed just short of being good too. The main character had a habit of reaching out and touching people he was talking to. costumes and locations seemed to fit and I liked the final set (not spoiling). Most of the special effects were "dream" editing like stuff appearing and disappearing, but the black rain looked a little fake. It seemed to only be raining black on the main character's car windshield. As with most audio, the music was too loud and the dialogue too quiet. I think that the style of this set the stage for films like The Omen (1976), Stigmata (1999) and The Ninth Gate (1999). It's not a bad genre, just not really what interests me. I rate this adequate.
An Italian horror adventure directed by Ruggero Deodato.
Oil prospectors land a plane in South America to find the team who are supposed to meet them have been killed. One of them is captured by a native tribe and escapes with a woman.
I can see the roots of Cannibal Holocaust forming in this film. The hour and 26 minutes went by quickly with lots of action and quick editing pace. There were some areas of the plot that were vague or important information in "blink and you miss it" sections. The B-roll also got out of control a few times. The characters were not deeply developed and did not have extensive back-stories, but that is not what this film was made for. The sparse dialogue seemed fine to me and the acting was done well. I think that the acting of fear and pain came through realistically. The sets or location looked like a real jungle with caves to my eyes and there was a definite lack of costumes. Most folks were naked. Visually, the film resides between Cannibal Ferox and Cannibal Holocaust. Ferox was lo-fi and Holocaust was HD, with this somewhere in the middle. What some may see as special effects in this turned out to be real. Yes, those are actual animals being mutilated. The audio was all extremely loud. Animal sounds and pre-Cannibal Holocaust Umbaldo Continello (not Riz Ortolani) music will let you know for sure what Ruggero made 3 years later. Stylistically, I would lump this in with Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox in the "good cannibal films" group just for shock value alone. IMDB has this rated at 6.2/10, AllMovie has 1/5 AllMovie rating with 3.5/5 user ratings and Rotten Tomatoes has a 52% audience score for a 51% average. Apparently, not everyone sees the merit of shock value. I rate this good because I do see that merit.
A Chinese kung fu directed by Jeong Chang-hwa, starring Angela Mao, Michael Chan Wai-man, Dean Shek and Sammo Hung.
A woman gives birth to a daughter in prison after being raped by a government official. Her husband had been killed by a gang of kung fu masters and she tells her story to a fellow inmate before dying. The daughter is brought to an abbey, learns kung fu and gets kicked out for being too violent. She then goes to live with the woman who brought her out of jail and revenge her mother's husband's death.
Bellicosity? To start with, the title was incorrect. No oaths were broken. A better title would be "Scorpion Girl Revenge". The hour and a half duration was pretty standard, as are most aspects of this film. I thought that the plot was very clearly presented, the only major element that separates it from the crowd of other kung fu films. The main character had a signature move, using a cloth to put scorpions on people. Everyone else was extras. The abbess used the word "bellicosity" to describe the main character, meaning that she was violent. Why such an obscure word? Sets and costumes looked like authentic ancient China (standard). The camera-work and editing on this were just enough above standard to make me notice that it looked decent. Special effects were used to make items fly, but not people. There was also a man who could breathe fire. The audio featured a very major sounding, almost jubilant theme song at the beginning and end that did not fit the serious tone of the film in between. I could hear the dialogue well enough, but the subtitles that I got were just slightly off-time. This has a 7/10 on IMDB. I would agree with the C- grade because it was mostly very standard. I rate it o.k.
An American blaxploitation directed by Cliff Roquemore, starring Rudy Ray Moore.
An overly developed child is born to poor, black parents. After being picked on as a child, he trains with a kung fu master, but chooses to pursue a career as a comedian instead of martial artist. A rival comedy act who owe him money try to waylay the grand opening of his new show, eventually shooting him. He then makes a deal with Lucifer to marry the devil's daughter and father a grandson for old scratch. He is given a magic cane and attempts to fool Lucifer and get out of marrying the daughter.
Not too bad for '70s blaxploitation. The plot was a little desultory, but held my interest. The characters were funny to me and I got most of the humor that was used. There were some good video effects used. The shooting scene went backwards, there were plenty of jump-cut magical transformations and video speed changes added some comedic effect. The scene that I didn't understand was Petey making money fall from the sky, with unnecessary jump cuts for no reason. The audio featured mostly '70s funk by Nat Dove and Mary Love and mostly audible dialogue. Overall, a rare flick that was worth watching. I rate it adequate.
An American mystery comedy directed by Sam Raimi, starring Bruce Campbell and Ted Raimi.
A detective goes to investigate a murder and finds that the dead man's will is disputed. The man's brother is crazy and wants to prevent the real will from being found. The son is sane and trying to find the real will.
It was blatantly obvious that this was Raimi's first film. It reminded me of TROMA flicks because it was so bad as to be funny. The characters were not developed very well and most of the acting was terrible. The crazy brother and detective were not too bad. The plot was simplistic and the humor was hokey. Being shot on a super 8, the video was some of the worst I've ever seen. Correct exposure was a foreign concept. I did like the sequences with altered speed though. The audio was atrocious. It was poorly mixed, distorted, had sudden stops and starts and I could hear them punching in for missed lines of dialogue. Overall, amateurish. I rate this poor.
An American comedy directed by John Landis, starring Donald Sutherland.
Various comedy skits are shown as if one were watching television and everything went bonkers.
This was funny. It is so rare that I see a comedy and get the humor. Although most of the material is dated and would seem absurd to today's audiences, I remember growing up when this was not a "vintage" film. The movie theater that only charges one dollar for popcorn is a stand-out moment of being dated. Isn't that shit like $15 these days? Anyway, I liked the joke commercials, news broadcasts and movie trailers. There was even a poster for Schlock at the theater. My favorite part was "Catholic High School Girls in Trouble"(picture) Female Anatomy Points! This is a film to not think about or analyze. Just watch and maybe laugh. I rate it adequate.
A British fantasy adventure directed by Sam Wanamaker, starring Jane Seymour with special effects by Ray Harryhausen.
A prince who is designated to be the next caliph is turned into a baboon by his step-mother. Sinbad and his crew go on an adventure to find a wise man and restore the prince.
This was decent. The plot was long. There were a few main characters and an army of extras. The video was as expected. What impresses me is how the human actors interact with the stop motion miniatures on screen. The audio was alright. I could hear all of the dialogue and the music was similar to the other Sinbad films I've seen. Overall, not bad. I rate this adequate. I am very tired of writing movie reviews.
A Canadian American horror directed by David Cronenberg, starring Marilyn Chambers, Patricia Gage and Susan Roman.
After a motorcycle accident, a woman has experimental skin grafts to heal her wounds. She develops a mutation and starts a zombie epidemic in Canada.
This was not so great a movie, but first a word about the stars. Marilyn Chambers was repeatedly arrested in the '80s while she was an exotic dancer. The arrests were for sexual acts in public that was viewed by police as prostitution. Susan Roman's fame comes from her voice acting in children's cartoons like Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake and Sailor Moon. So we've obviously got female anatomy points for the lead role. There were topless scenes as well as a "wet T-shirt writhing on the bathroom floor" scene. The plot was simplistic and generally uninteresting, which allowed me to become distracted by details. In the beginning, there's a man wearing a sports jumpsuit with a shirt that reads "Jogging Kills" on the front. The surgery scene is VERY graphic and almost hurt to watch. When time is elapsing at the hospital, there is a beautiful sunset shot with wonderful reflections in the building's windows. There was also an interesting scene in which zombies at a construction site use a jackhammer to kill the driver of a car without opening the door. If I were to rate for funny details, this would get awesome, but I'm rating the whole film. I have to give it a weird pink rating for being a piece of shit full of awesome little details.
An American western adventure directed by Tom McGowan, starring Maurice Grandmaison.
Religious pioneers travel, take many wives and settle land.
If it weren't for the blatant mormonist propaganda, this would have been a really good movie. The video all looked really good with nice, clean shots showing exactly what was going on. The audio was a little rough, but not too shabby. The plot and characters were VERY clearly communicated. I watched this in about 3-4 chunks between doing other things and STILL the plot popped for me! I was interested in what was happenning all the way through. For me to be that distracted and still keep track of the movie, it has to be very well made. I'm rating this adequate and it's a keeper. The detracting factor is the obvious religious overtones.
An American Israeli western directed by Joseph Manduke, starring Lee Van Cleef and Leif Garrett.
A gang of outlaws attack a family. They kill the parents, but the daughter is hiding in their wagon and the son is wandering in the desert. The son returns to find his mother being raped (before being killed) and hides nearby, eluding the outlaws. Another, less skilled group of bandits try to hold up a black miner at a bank, but end up shooting one of their own team and being held up by the miner. Eventually, the paths of the miner and son cross and they team up to defeat the outlaw gang.
The late '70s was a good time for westerns. The slightly gritty video lends itself to deserts and cowboys. The plot of this film was a little more complex and there were more characters than the average cowboy revenge flick. These added complexities were clearly communicated and all of the characters were memorable. The camera-work was relatively straight forward, but done quite well. The pacing really slowed down and let you enjoy the scene without dragging. There were some creative executions performed while the kid was alone, stalking and killing outlaws. The "less skilled" outlaw gang served as comic relief and contained some entertaining characters. Overall, there is nothing wrong with an augmented cowboy revenge flick from this time period. This one even did enough things well to earn my respect. I'm rating it good. This would be one to watch.
An American horror directed by Joseph Mazzuca.
A girl is killed at an initiation ritual involving a game of Russian Roulette. Seven years later, the other members of the group are invited to a mansion where the father of the dead girl is waiting for them.
I liked the ending, but I won't spoil it. Unfortunately, the ending was the best part of a not-so-great film. The other highlight was a tarantula crawling on one of the women. Besides those scenes, it was pretty standard and pointless. The video was mostly overexposed, blowing out the light areas. That's when it wasn't underexposed, covering much of the screen in a black blur. That's my main beef with this flick is that they couldn't operate the camera correctly. So, two good scenes in a very standard movie with bad video? I rate it poor. You should probably skip this one.
An American slasher horror by Stu Segall.
A series of murders occurs at a movie theater. All of the victims are couples and they are all killed with swords. When the police investigate, they find that multiple men working at the theater used to be sword swallowers.
Standard '70s slasher. If you like the teenagers to get chopped up, they do. Otherwise, not really worth it. The video was blurry, grainy and underexposed in that '70s way that makes it look dirty and maybe a little sleazy. The plot was easy to follow and the characters were identifiable, but the ending was inconclusive. I liked when the guy with the white car said that he has tools to do his own rim-jobs, but not when the guy in the warehouse was yelling "little girl" repeatedly. It's not a complex film and does not need a complex review. There is gore, death and a police investigation. If that's what you're looking for, this has it. I rate it o.k.
An American adventure thriller directed by Earl E. Smith.
A dying civil war general tells a soldier of buried treasure. The soldier recruits a tracker and a teacher to help him find and identify the treasure. They meet a woman along the way who joins them. As the group nears the location of the treasure, they find that they are being followed by someone or something.
The real mystery is the plot. Everything was going along fine until the end when the film basically just stops. There was some sleazy '70s style that reminded me of Jeremiah Johnson (1972), meaning the audio and video were to my liking. Some creative camera angles and good framing made things look good and the folky song set things off correctly by being played during the battle scene. The characters are developed some, relatively memorable and identifiable. I think the cover art is really cool (picture). Overall, I thought it was a fine film until the abrupt and inconclusive ending. I rate it adequate.
