Camp Lazlo (2005 - 2008)

An American animated comedy series created by Joe Murray, directed by Sue Mondi and Brian Sheesley.
Anthropomorphic animals are at summer camp. Lazlo the monkey stars with his friends Raj the elephant and Clam the rhinoceros. The scoutmaster is Lumpus the moose. They are always involved in some type of absurd situation.
American animated series of this time period were noticably poor in terms of plot and writing, but this is the exception to that trend. It didn't seem like "stupid kids' stuff", but more universal humor dealing with exaggeration and hyperbole. Some of the elements which entertained me most were the dung beetles (my favorite characters voiced by Steve Little), Lougie Llama and Lazlo's arms making impossible shapes. The animation style is very traditional and cartoony. Creator Jo Murray also made Rocko's Modern Life, an earlier cartoon which I like as well. Carlos Alazraqui voiced Rocko and Lazlo, Tom Kenny voiced Heffer on Rocko's Modern Life, Spongebob on Spongebob Squarepants, Eduardo on Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Scoutmaster Lumpus and Slinkman on Camp Lazlo. Mr. Lawrence voiced Filburt on Rocko's Modern Life, Plankton on Spongebob Squarepants, Edward, Dave, Ping-pong and Nurse Leslie on Camp Lazlo. Jodi Benson voiced Ariel in The Little Mermaid (1989), Tula in Pirates of Dark Water, Patsy, Jane Doe and Almondine in Camp Lazlo. The series was produced in 16:9 aspect ratio and originally aired in 4:3. I watched a 4:3 version and it makes me wonder what got cut out or modified to change the frame shape. I rate this good.

Karas series A.K.A. 鴉－KARAS－, Karasu (2005 - 2007)

A Japanese science fiction fantasy anime directed by Keiichi Sato.
Deomons, spirits, kappas and city guardians duke it out in Shinjuku. A police detective is trying to figure out what is going on and there is a young woman wandering around.
Most of this was not so great. The plot was vague and muddy, so I didn't really know what was going on. There were a few fights and good scenes here and there. Then the ending happened. It made it all worthwhile. I'll just say that there is a long fight. The animation style mixed traditional anime with digital editing and really looked cool. I was watching the last 2 episodes, wondering what to write about this and that's all I got. I rate this adequate. You might want to just watch the last 3 episodes.

Robots (2005)

An American Animated comedy adventure directed by Chris Wedge, starring Ewan McGregor, Halle Berry, Greg Kinnear, Mel Brooks and Robin Williams.
A robot from a small town goes to the big city, hoping to get a job working for a company he has seen on TV. He gets there to find that the company has been taken over by the villain.
I'm pretty sure this is some vapid entertainment. It is entertaining and animated well. Robin Williams was always a great addition to comedy. I think Roger Ebert correctly stated ""Robots delights on a visual level, but the story feels like it came off an assembly line." Tom Waits did the villain's mother's "Underground" song. IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes have scores around 50-60%. I guess I liked it at some point because it's been sitting on my computer for years. I rate it adequate and really wish there was some hidden meaning or symbolism to type about.

8mm 2 (2005)

A Hungarian American mystery thriller directed by J. S. Cardone, starring Johnathon Schaech.
A man and his rich fiancee are on vacation and have a threesome with a woman they meet at the hotel. He then receives photos of them from someone wanting money.
Really terrible. 8mm (1999) was bad enough, but a "sequel" like this is too much. It only borrowed the part of the plot involving someone having sex videos and had a different name in production. Characters and dialogue seemed like a cut and paste job from every other low budget thriller ever made. When Wikipedia says a film is "direct-to-video", that is always a very bad sign. It may not always turn out to be this horrible, but most are. There are only so many ways to say that a movie is bad. The only positive thing I can say is that there was plenty of nudity. If that's all you're looking for, go watch porn instead. I rate this shit because it is. Do not watch!

12 and Holding (2005)

An American drama directed by Michael Cuesta.
A group of children have problems. 1 boy's brother died in a treehouse fire. He visits 1 of the boys responsible in prison. 1 fat boy fell out of said treehouse during the fire and lost his sense of taste. The gym teacher wants him on the football team, so he eats healthy and exercises. A girl has a crush on a construction worker and sneaks into his apartment.
Most of this was terrible, but there were some good parts. The plot had interesting material in it, but moved far too slowly. Many of the characters developed over the duration. This is more than I can say for most films. The kids tried to fix their problems and some of the parents came to realize they had problems. The video looked alright. The camera placement was all really obvious and standard. Also, some of the less eventful shots lasted too long. Slow pacing. Audio was a nightmare. The copy I got had been compressed, normalized or had the volume raised to the point that everything was clipping like an old kung fu movie. The waveform would look like a series of boxes. I rate this tolerable because some of it was really good. The problem is that most of it was really bad. You might not want to watch it.

The Headsman A.K.A. Shadow of the Sword, Henker (2005)

A British Austrian Swiss Luxembourg Hungarian German romance drama directed by Simon Aeby, starring Nikolaj Coster.
During a time when the church is acting crazy, a pair of boys are split when they are young. One goes into the clergy and the other marries the executioner's daughter, becoming an executioner.
Mediocre crap. I found this while searching for Shadowless Sword (2005) and figured I would just get it anyway because it had English audio. I can see the production meeting: "This movie sucks. What can we do to get asses in seats?" "Let's make it look like Lord of the Rings!" The plot was rambling and uninteresting. The characters were shallow and the dialogue was poor. Audio was terrible too. People were either shouting or whispering. The ending was so cheesy that even if I spoiled it, nobody would care. It consisted of flashbacks and a ride into the sunset. But it all looked really modern and professional. I'm thinking there is some kind of digital setting or filter used to make films look this way (image). The era of proprietary cameras is over and digital footage is infinitely malleable. It should be easy to get the Peter Jackson look. Maybe a lighting setup? I rate this bad for being mediocre and boring. Don't watch it.

Dirty Love (2005)

An American romantic comedy directed by John Mallory Asher, written by and starring Jenny McCarthy, also starring Carmen Electra and Victor Webster.
A woman breaks up with her boyfriend and he destroys her belongings. She tries to find a new boyfriend, but has trouble doing so.
Trashy. Hokey and cheesy are too good for this scum. I could tell it was written by a woman whose career started with Playboy photos. Vapid is another good word for it. The plot was simplistic and the characters were some of the shallowest I've seen in any film. I get that love and relationships are an important part of life in this world and that life would not exist without them, but so many crappy movies are made about the subject. There are many people who think they absolutely need to be in a romantic relationship, as if their survival depends upon it. Animals can work and reproduce. Humans need to do a little more to differentiate themselves from dumb beasts. This movie did not help that cause. I guess if I want views, Jenny McCarthy needs to be like this (image). She's not even that pretty. Sure, she has tits, but I think she's a "butter-face". I rate this bad. Don't watch it.

Chaos (2005/2006)

A British Canadian American crime action directed by Tony Giglio, starring Jason Statham and Wesley Snipes.
There is a bank robbery and a cop who was fired is asked for by the robbers. He gets a new partner and they try to find the bank robbers who escaped after an explosion during the robbery.
Bad audio, probably the worst mixing I've ever heard. There was whispered and mumbled dialogue alternating with loud music, explosions, motorcycles (need those) and guns. Which brings me to my next point: motorcycle chases. Every crappy action flick I've been watching recently has a motorcycle chase scene. It's possible that folks were trying to ride coattails on The Matrix trilogy (1999 - 2003) and Kill Bill (2003 - 2004) because all of these crappy flicks with motorcycle chases were made around that time and those were popular and good films with motorcycle chases. Is there some deep meaning hidden within the motorcycle chase that I'm missing? Most of them slide their bikes to a halt. While stopping, the wheels slide out from under them and the body scrapes across the pavement, creating sparks. I usually like Jason Statham's acting, but his dialogue must have been under my hearing threshold in this. That's all there was to that movie. I couldn't understand much of what anyone was saying because the audio was so bad. I rate it bad. Really, don't watch it.

SPL: Sha Po Lang A.K.A. Kill Zone, 殺破狼, 杀破狼 (2005)

A Chinese crime drama directed by Wilson Yip, starring Donnie Yen, Sammo Hung and Simon Yam.
A group of police detectives are in conflict with a crime boss. One of the cops was in a car accident 3 years before and the only survivors were him and a young relative. He then finds out that he has a brain tumor.
This was like 1970s American crime films with a "loose cannon cop", but everyone was Asian. The version I watched had an English dubbed audio track and the voices were way off. The voice acting was terrible and I don't think there were any Asian voice actors used. The plot was just total trash and the characters were unevenly developed. Thing that didn't matter were emphasized, but anything pertinent to the plot was not developed at all. For example, who is this guy? (image) He appears multiple times and kills lots of people, but he doesn't even have a name. The cinematography and camerawork looked alright, but there was too much slow motion that was too obvious. I really think this film took itself too seriously. If it had been meant to mock 1970s detective flicks, it would have been great. I rate it poor and would really advise against watching it.

Raiders Series: Tokyo, Seoul & Europe (2000, 2005, 2018)

A Chinese kung fu spy comedies directed by Jingle Ma, starring Tony Leung Chiu-wai.
Spies and government agents work against and with one another to uncover secrets and obtain stolen items or people.
The first two films were entertaining and had their own style. It was like Jackie Chan mixed with James bond or "what if Austin Powers were Chinese and done relatively well?" The third film was trash: just new Hollywood "how big can we make it?" I should have expected something when the intro was a person skiing down a mountain in a light suit. What was really missing in Europe Raiders was humor. For example, the series had established that after the first fight, Tony says "I don't mind fighting, but don't mess up my hair" and Europe did not have it. All of the films had too much camera movement and the editing was too fast. That is the style of the times and I don't like it, but can live with it if there are other things going on that are good. My favorite scene of the series was in Seoul when Lam has Owen tied up and plays a sushi prank on him as torture because the truth serum won't work on him. Europe was also missing the truth serum! Everything that the first two films worked so hard to establish and that worked so well in them was missing from the third. I'm rating the first two adequate and the third bad. The strategy for watching them should be obvious.

Dear Wendy (2005)

A British Danish French German crime drama directed by Thomas Vinterberg, written by Lars von Trier, starring Bill Pullman.
A group of young people take an interest in guns and marksmanship which gives them confidence that they were lacking. A new member is added, who has had a long and unspoken rivalry with the main character. The new member had been in trouble with the law involving guns and his grandmother was a maid for the main character's parents. Because the old woman is afraid of gangs and hesitates to visit a neighbor, the group escort her on the proposed 2 minute walk.
I haven't mentioned style in a long time, but this has it. when good writing, acting, shooting and editing come together, good style is the results in a product which equals more than the sum of its parts. The plot held my attention and I would say the main characters were dynamic. Pacing felt right (why not bring back another term?). Lots of the camera-work was Dogme 95 style, with lots of handheld long takes. The costumes of the main characters are a point to mention. If these were worn in a Harry Potter style film, they would have been a hokey joke. In a film by such accomplished and independent filmmakers as von Trier and Vinterberg, the outlandish costumes fit and make sense without seeming contrived. Audio was not so great, but I could hear most of it. Diegetic dialogue was obviously going to be low. The narrator's voice was about twice as loud as that and the music was twice as loud as the narration. It's easy to see how layered audio levels like this can get out of hand. I really liked this movie and rate it good. You should probably watch it.

Broken Flowers (2005)

A French American drama directed by Jim Jarmusch, starring Bill Murray, Jeffrey Wright, Sharon Stone, Frances Conroy, Tilda Swinton, Julie Deply, Mark Webber, Chloe Sevigny and Christian McDonald.
A man receives a letter with no return address which says that his son is looking for him. His neighbor decides that the mystery must be solved and sends the man on a quest to visit the women he had relationships with.
This follows what I think of as Jarmusch's style by being a series of vignettes. I'm just saying this because of Night on Earth (1991) and Coffee and Cigarettes (2003). I have seen more of his work than that (Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) Mystery Train (1989)) and will be watching more. His style doesn't jump out and grab you, it invites you in. This seemed a little more tragic than his other works, but the pacing was dead on. The video looked good, but the audio was a little low. I really liked the daughter at the first house, but won't spoil it. I'm rating this good for being by a good director, having an all-star cast, presented as vignettes and the slow pacing. You should watch it.

Neo Ned (2005)

An American crime romance directed by Van Fischer, starring Jeremy Renner, Gabrielle Union, Sally Kirkland, Cary Elwes and Ethan Suplee.
A neo nazi skinhead is in a mental institution and falls in love with a black woman who says that she is Hitler.
This was a mix of good and bad. Let's go with bad first. I think that the dialogue needed to be mixed quieter because I could almost hear some of it and the music needed to be mixed louder because my speakers did not blow out. Shitty audio production aside, I really liked the plot and characters. The plot started almost at the end and then developed its own back-story as the film went on. The characters followed this, revealing their past. The combination of 2 unlikely main characters was the best part. If I'm so focused on the plot and characters that I don't notice cinematography, camera-work, composition, framing or editing, that is seamless and very very good. Cary Elwes was in a very short section, but Ethan Suplee played a larger role. I remember him from American History X (1998), Blow and Evolution (both 2001) and Art School Confidential (2006). I'm rating this good, but it would have gotten awesome with better audio.

Munich (2005)

A Canadian American drama directed by Steven Spielberg, starring Ciaran Hinds, Matthieu Kassovitz, Hanns Zischler and Geoffrey Rush.
A team of assassins try to kill a list of men for political reasons.
Political intrigue is less interesting to me than watching paint dry. I didn't care about the characters or the plot. Neither was able to hold my interest at all. I only made it to an hour and 46 minutes of the 2 hour 43 minute duration because I let it play while I was writing music theory notes. The only thing that I found remotely interesting were the contraptions made by one of the team members. One of them was a pressure sensor to go in a man's bed and activate a bomb when he was laying on it. In accordance with my turn off policy, I rate this shit. Do not watch!

Wolf Creek (2005)

An Australian American horror directed by Greg McLean, starring John Jarratt.
A trio of young people are abducted and tortured by a man in the Australian outback.
This had its pros and cons. The plot was revealed as soon as the protagonists got in their car and drove into a rural area. I knew they would be abducted and tortured and that one of them would escape. The only character that I thought was cast well and did a good job of acting was the psycho killer. He was also the only one with any back-story. The video was mostly dark, but correct lighting was used and there were no significant cases of underexposure. The audio was too dynamic. The whispered dialogue was too quiet and the screams were too loud. Overall, exactly what I expected. I rate this o.k.

Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis (2005)

An American made for TV horror directed by William Butler and Aaron Strongoni, starring Cory Hardrict and Peter Coyote.
A group of high school students follow rumors of an injured friend being abducted by a chemical company. When they get to the factory, a zombie outbreak occurs.
This is where they lost the magic of the original. I didn't care about any of the stereotypical characters who barely had any back-story. The poorly constructed and underdeveloped plot did not hold my interest. The video looked made for TV and syfy channel all the way. Same with the audio that featured popular hard rock music of the time. Technically speaking, the audio and video were fine, but they were handled badly. The camera-work focused on fast editing cuts that are all too cliche of modern action films. Now that I've seen the whole series, I wish I hadn't. Only the first three films are worth watching. I rate this poor.

Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave (2005)

An American horror directed by Ellroy Elkayem, starring Peter Coyote.
Interpol agents are looking for barrels of trioxin and the man who has some is killed when they test to see if it is real. His nephew is a college student who finds the other barrels that belonged to his uncle and brings them to a friend to find out what they are. The friend makes pills out of the substance and sells them to the local drug dealer. College students begin taking the pills and are on their way to a big Halloween party.
This was indeed not as good as the first few films. The plot was far more stereotypical and predictable. The characters were shallow, but this was a direct sequel to #4, which I could not get, so they may have been developed in that film. The video was generically stereotypical of crappy, new horror films as well. There was a strobe light scene at the end which typified this. The audio was also of inferior quality. I could hear the dialogue, but the soundtrack included terrible nu metal like Powerman 5000 and worse. Overall, you might as well skip watching this. I rate it poor.

Rumor Has It A.K.A. Rumor Has It..., Rumour Has It (2005)

An American romantic comedy directed by Rob Reiner, starring Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Costner, Shirley MacLaine, Mark Ruffalo and Richard Jenkins.
An engaged woman finds out the The Graduate was written about her mother and grandmother. She meets with the author and has an affair with him, like her mother and grandmother did before her.
Stupid. I don't like romantic comedy, I don't like Jennifer Aniston and I don't like Rob Reiner. My last post about Reiner's films was pretty derogatory, but I have to make this worse. I knew every move the characters would make before they made it. I saw everything coming a mile away. Jennifer Aniston's bad acting befouled my screen for an hour and a half, with the only respite being Shirley Maclaine as the drunken and jaded grandmother. Beau Burroughs' sexual conquest of the family seemed to be a metaphor for the film as a whole. Reiner was guaranteed success due to celebrity status and just let it happen. Other critics have not had many positive things to say about this either. Overall, crappy. I rate this bad. DO NOT WATCH!!!

Revolver (2005)

A British French crime thriller directed by Guy Ritchie, starring Jason Statham, Ray Liotta and Andre Benjamin.
A con-man gets out of jail and there is conflict over a card game. He goes to work for loan sharks who use him to play a casino owner off against a drug dealer.
Not too shabby. The plot held my attention because it contained non-linear sections and made the viewer question the reality of what was happening. The characters were acted well. I liked the range of characters and how they all fit into their roles. The video was very dark in most places, but not underexposed or unclear. That's a pretty nifty trick to pull off and I've seen it fouled up plenty of times. The special effects were limited to some creative editing, but it worked well. The audio was actually very good. I could hear all of the dialogue and the music was mixed at a correct level. Overall, it checks all my criteria boxes. I rate this good.

The Bad News Bears (1976 + 2005)

American comedy films directed by Michael Ritchie and Richard Linklater, starring Walter Matthau and Billy Bob Thornton.
A baseball coach who had a small amount of fame long ago is now an alcoholic and coaches an underdog kids team.
I haven't done a comparison review in a while. As always, the original is better. Walter Matthau faced tougher odds because the parents funding his team told him to shut it down. That was the main plot difference. The characters were relatively similar, except for Amanda. She was older in the remake and had a clothing shop instead of selling maps to the homes of stars. There was a gigantic difference in production. The remake blew the original away in this department just by camera technology alone. What separates good movies from alright movies is clearly demonstrated if you watch these in a row. It's that undefinable thing that I call style. Some people call it spark. It's a combination of all the film elements that is just right. The original had that. The remake was an overdramatized, vulgar and stupid imitation. It had most of the same ingredients, but the chef burned it. Overall, I say the original gets a good rating and the remake a poor rating.