A Spanish American acid western comedy directed by Alex Cox, starring Ed Harris, Richard Masur and Peter Boyle.
A military leader who is totally detached from reality and nearly impervious to bullets leads a mission to bring civilization and democracy to Nicaragua.
Very strange. The humor was almost Stephen Chow style, with deadpan delivery of absurd lines. There were many anachronisms, including modern magazines, a computer and a helicopter. I was unsure whether it was a comedy until this guy was reading Newsweek (image). It was also a violent bloodbath. The plot was not so great, but I think that it was intended to point out America's tyrannical military ventures. The characters were saying that they were bringing democracy to this undeveloped country and then it turned into a massacre. Speaking of characters, the main character was the only one who really counted for anything. His financeer was also important and was cast and acted well. The video looked fine, but I didn't see much outside of standard Hollywood filmmaking style. Audio was in English and Spanish with subtitles which also included the sign language sections. 1987 does it again. I rate this good and it's going in my Acid Western folder. You should probably watch it.
A French Spanish adventure directed by Ridley Scott, starring Gérard Depardieu, Sigourney Weaver and Armand Assante.
Christopher Columbus wants to sail west from Europe, seeking a trade route to Asia, but finds America. Then the problems really start.
Boring. The plot just failed to hold my attention. The characters were alright and I liked that Sigourney Weaver played the queen. Production was very much of the time. Video looked good and had a variety of shot compositions and lengths. Audio was good as well. I could hear everything and there were even leopard/jaguar screams for the American warriors attacking the Spanish conquistadores. I guess it was just too stale a story and too predictable. The viewer doesn't have any chance of wondering what will happen next. The scene with the giant bell was absurd. Christopher was standing in the center, pulling a rope like he was the only one working (image), borrowed Severus Snape's horse and suddenly everything worked. Ridley Scott really took a dive by directing this after Alien (1979), Legend (1985) and Thelma & Louise (1991). As far as I can tell, he came back to glory with Matchstick Men (2003) and that was it for him. I rate this poor because it was not even interesting.
A Danish French Italian Netherlands Spanish Swedish comedy drama directed by Lars von Trier, starring Nikolaj Lie Kaas, Dogme #2 and second film in Lars von Trier's Golden Heart Trilogy.
A group of people pretend to be mentally disabled until one of them freaks out for real and another is taken away by a family member.
Amazing! I was laughing through the whole first hour. I know it's currently not politically correct to make fun of retards. In this film, everyone there would have been in on the plan though, so it became more of a situation making fun of people making fun of retards, which makes it o.k., right? There was nudity, sex and foul language. Being Dogme #2, it was saturated in Dogma 95 style. Seeing as this style is documented better elsewhere, I don't feel the need to explain it. The plot began hilariously. I realized the joke at 0:5:00, began laughing at around 0:7:30 and didn't stop until 1:15:47. The characters fit very well because the "leader" was kind of an egomaniac with an assorted group around him. If we can call Karen the main character, she fit her role very well too. I can't wait to watch Dancer in the Dark (2000) and may recommend these films as a series to those who don't mind reading subtitles to see better movies. I rate this best. Watch it!
A French Spanish romance directed by Luis Bunuel, starring Fernando Rey, Carole Bouquet and Angela Molina.
An older man tells the story of his relationship with a younger woman to passengers on a train. The woman has lead him on, only to turn him away multiple times.
Slightly odd and inconclusive, but interesting. The plot held my attention mostly because Conchita treated the main character so poorly. He was also always getting robbed by her male friends. I did care about what happened to the characters, but I can't decide whether I liked Conchita or not. There were some very funny lines of dialogue that were spoken by the butler. He was a master of Stephen Chow style deadpan delivery humor. Seeing that it was a story told in flashbacks, some narration would have been cool. Some people hate narration, but I tend to like it. The costumes and sets were pretty mundane, except the back room dance show (image and female anatomy points). Camera-work and editing were very smooth and stable. I think the style that Bunuel was going for was seamless and it worked correctly. Most of the audio was in French and I found English subtitles that worked when adjusted correctly. There was also some Spanish spoken with no subtitles or subtitles in Spanish. IMDb lists a rating of 8/10, AllMovie lists 4/5 AllMovie Rating with 4.5/5 User Ratings and Rotten Tomatoes lists 100% Tomatometer with 90% Audience Score for an average of 88%. I think that's a little high, but internet consensus indicates that if I think a film is mundane, most people will like it. I rate this o.k. because there are much better things to watch, but it held my interest.
A Spanish American fantasy drama directed by J. A. Bayona, starring Sigourney Weaver, Toby Kebbell and Liam Neeson.
A boy's mother is dying from cancer, he is being bullied at school and doesn't want to go live with his grandmother. A giant tree monster that may be real, a dream, imagination or hallucination visits him to tell stories.
Besides the monster, this was sappy, lame and boring. The hour 40 duration seemed much longer because the scenes without the monster moved very slowly. The plots of the monster's short stories were much better than the "real world" plot of the whole film. The characters were actually not that bad. All of the dialogue was well written and the actors played their roles appropriately. My favorite set was the cemetery with the sinkhole from the boy's nightmare. Everything else was pretty mundane. The camera-work was professionally done and the editing was seamless. I can't say that I noticed any really good shots that stood out though. The special effects for the tree monster were what kept me from turning this off. It may be CG, but it was good CG. The animations for the monster's stories were also done quite well. Although CG as well, they had a bold style that I appreciated. The audio was all mixed well, but I think that the monster sounded too much like an Ent from Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings. I liked that the style was a little on the dark and gloomy side for the whole film. This won 23/50 awards that it was nominated for, made a gain of about 4 million dollars, has a 7.5/10 on IMDB and 86% on Rotten Tomatoes. I think that it got too much credit. I rate it tolerable because the monster and gloominess were the only positive aspects that I could see.
An Argentine Spanish crime mystery directed by Juan Jose Campanella, starring Ricardo Darin and Guillermo Francella.
A retired detective is writing a book about a murder case that he was assigned to. He meets with a female co-worker and the victim's husband to discuss his book.
This reminded me of All the President's Men (1976). The 2 hour duration really felt that way because the pacing was generally slow. The plot skipped backwards and forwards in time. It showed the old, retired detective writing his book as well as the original investigation. The limited number of characters worked well, but they were all mean to each other all the time. The acting was done very serious and poker faced. I got a version with really bad subtitles and my rudimentary Spanish skills came in handy to decode what was going on. The sets and costumes were very boring. I liked the gigantic police building set the most. In camera-work, there was a follow shot at the soccer game and a shot in which the camera circled around the main character's desk that I liked quite a bit. The whole thing had that classic police detective vibe going on. Other critics give this around a B+ grade, but I don't agree. I think it was too slow and boring. I rate this o.k.
A West German Spanish slasher directed by Jesus Franco.
A scientist doctor is ostracized for his research and kills himself. His wife takes revenge on the co-workers who condemned him.
I feel like I've seen this before. The plot was pretty stale, even for Franco. What separates this from the other film with the same plot is that the wife stabs guys' dicks off with scissors. The characters completely lacked development. The video was artsy enough to hold my attention a little bit. Some female nudity helped there too. The audio was in German and I found good English subtitles. The music was even staler than the plot. I could swear it was recycled from another Franco flick. Overall, very tired, mediocre and lackluster. I rate this tolerable.
A Spanish French thriller directed by Jesus Franco, starring Howard Vernon and Paul Muller.
A young woman goes to visit her crazy family for the reading of her father's will.
I have a feeling that Jesus Franco either did not want to make good movies or had a vastly different definition of "good" from mine. The little plot there was in this mostly didn't make sense. I could positively identify two characters. Maybe more if I really tried. The pacing dragged sluggishly through even the shortest scenes. Video was artsy, but not in a good way. It seemed very much a product of the time, a '70s film to only be viewed in the '70s. The audio was in English. Soundtrack music fit Jesus Franco's style, being similar to some Russ Meyer flicks and Cannibal Holocaust. The scene depicted above was a tease. That means no, she did not use this item for it's intended purpose. Overall, just like every other Jesus Franco film I've seen. I rate this poor.
A West German Spanish sexploitation directed by Jesus Franco, starring Soledad Miranda, Dennis Price and Paul Muller.
A woman dreams of being seduced by a female vampire.
This would have been great as a short porn flick, but it doesn't have the plot necessary for a feature film. The characters were cast well and there were artsy camera shots, but otherwise, it was worthless. Naked lesbian vampires was a cool idea, but it didn't end up working out. There were these shots of a moth in a net, a scorpion on pavement, a kite in the sky and a boat at sunset that seemed to have been randomly thrown in. Other reviewers have called this "effortlessly dream-like" and praised the soundtrack. it could have been saved by adding a plot or making it into a more graphic lesbian porn. I rate this bad. Don't bother watching it.
A Liechtenstein West German Spanish Italian British erotic adventure directed by Jesus Franco, starring Maria Schell, Mercedes McCambridge, Luciana Paluzzi and Herbert Lom.
Women are kept in a prison where the warden and governor abuse them. A man from a male prison on the same island contacts one of the women and organizes an escape attempt.
Sex on sex. Prison sex, jungle sex, etc... The plot was interesting and held my attention around the sex scenes. The characters were a little shallow, but easily identifiable. The sex was graphic, showing closeups of penetration. It involved heterosexual intercourse as well as lesbian scenes. The video was done quite well. There was a good mix of straight forward storytelling and artsy shots, even if some of these were prurient. The audio of the version that I watched was French, but the English subtitles were correct and on time. There was a variety of soundtrack music from classical to psychedelic rock. Overall, a decent flick if you like closeups of copulation. I rate it o.k.
A Spanish West German American spy adventure directed by Jesus Franco, starring Shirley Eaton, George Sanders and Walter Rilla.
A militant feminist runs a city with an exclusively female population. She abducts wealthy men and takes their money to fund her nation-building scheme.
Not bad, but not good. Not unique enough to be memorable, but a fine example of the time and genre. The plot was a little murky in sections. It seemed kind of haphazard, as if it were not planned very well. It was also not believable. A city of only women won't continue to exist for long. The setting was also unclear. Is this '60s Brazil or a science fiction future? The characters were not developed at all. At the end, I barely even knew who they were, let alone felt like I knew them personally. They were identifiable though and not easily confused with one another. Costumes were actually done very well. I liked the femina city military uniform most. The video looked very '60s. That gritty oversaturation is difficult to fake. Camera-work did a lot of selective focus, which turned out looking good. The audio was pretty standard of the time. Dialogue was audible and it featured a Russ Meyer/Jesus Franco groovy soundtrack. There were some annoying "science machine" sounds. Overall, easily forgotten. I rate this o.k.
A Spanish French horror directed by Jesus Franco.
The daughter of a mad scientist uses a dancer to take revenge of the men who she believes killed her father.
Antiquated and lo-fi. The plot did not hold my attention very well. There were too many characters that were not identifiable enough. Between the scientists/doctors, police/detectives, the women of the Zimmer house and those they murdered, it was just too many people. The video was not bad. The picture is from near the end, when men were fighting on a spiral staircase. The audio was alright except for the science machine sound effects. That got annoying really quickly. Overall, most old horror flicks all blend together to me. I rate this tolerable.
A Spanish West German sexploitation directed by Jesus Franco.
A teenage girl spends a weekend at the island house of her father's mistress. There she is drugged, raped and beaten.
For the shock level of the subject matter, the schlock level rose to meet it. The plot was overly simplistic to a crude and boorish level. The characters were shallow and undeveloped. The video was barely decent, with some artsy shots among the straight forward narrative style. The audio featured music of the time mixed louder than the dialogue. What it did have was nudity. If you're looking for boobs, I would recommend Russ Meyer though. Overall, crudely prurient schlock. I rate this poor. It's not that I don't appreciate the female nudity, there are just better things to watch for that.
A Spanish Italian German comedy spy adventure directed by Jesus Franco.
A charismatic spy is hired by bankers to find a counterfeiting operation.
This is live action Lupin the Third. The plot involved the main character spy/detective hunting down large scale criminals while being debonair with women and daring in conflicts. He collects a buddy along the way to act as his Daisuke Jigen, with a box full of spy tricks and gadgets. Having seen Castle of Cagliostro and some of the anime TV series, I could easily see Lucky and Lupin switching places without anyone noticing. The video was mega-grainy and super-blurry because of the age and the 512x288 format that I found it in. The audio featured an extremely repetitive soundtrack, but I could hear all of the dialogue. Overall, this is for folks who can't get enough Lupin from the anime. I rate it adequate.
A British Spanish crime film directed by Jonathan Glazer, starring Ray Winstone, Ben Kingsley, Ian McShane and James Fox.
A retired mobster is contacted by an aggressive ex-co-worker who wants him to be part of a new plan and won't take no for an answer. The retired man has to figure out how to deal with this guy and the job.
This was not so great. The plot was non-linear and included dreams/hallucinations. The characters were not extremely well developed, besides the main two. The video was actually pretty cool. They had a lot of different shots and used creative camera angles well. The audio was terrible. Whispered audio and blasting music were beyond Russ Meyer un-levels. I would say they learned to mix audio by watching Dario Argento flicks. Overall, not really what I like to watch. I'm rating this poor for audio and because I just did not like it.
An Italian Spanish German action film directed by Sergio Leone, starring Steve Reeves and Fernando Rey.
A thief helps the military to expose a violent gang who pose as Christians.
This was not so great.The convoluted plot was made even more complicated by having too many characters that were difficult to differentiate. The bright, colorful visual style was good and I could hear all of the dialogue. The soundtrack was appropriate. Overall, I was just not interested and it did not hold my attention. I rate it poor because Sergio Leone is capable of much better.
A British Spanish science fiction adventure directed by Cy Endfield with special effects by Ray Harryhausen.
A group of men crash their balloon on an island with giant animals. They find shipwrecked women there and make a life for themselves until pirates show up. They have a mysterious and hidden friend there who reveals himself after the pirate attack.
The plot was awesome. Lots of stuff happened and secrets were revealed. The characters were really bad though. They were all very generic. The video special effects were on par with the Flying Saucers flick that I reviewed recently. Lazy and half-assed, but still Harryhausen. The best one was the guy riding the stop motion giant bird. The audio was a little on the annoying side. I don't know if it was the inappropriate soundtrack or the honky sounding audio in general. The editing was very fast all the way through, lending an extreme sense of tension. Overall not something that I would recommend to anyone for any reason. I rate this poor.
An Italian American Spanish spaghetti western directed by Sergio Leone, starring Henry Fonda, Jason Robards, Charles Bronson and Gabriele Ferzetti.
A woman is on her way from New Orleans to a rural area to meet her new husband, but bandits kill him and his family before she gets there. There is a railroad baron leading the bandits and the dead family have purchased land that will soon have a railroad in it. A stranger playing a harmonica shows up to oppose the bandits.
Too long! The simple plot unfolded over almost three hours. The characters were typical of a standard western We had the lone wolf stranger, fancy lady, gentlemanly super-villain and his bandits. The audio was not up to par for Ennio this time. His music was extremely sparse and simple. There was also an Alejandro Jodorowsky style high pitched squeaking noise like in El Topo in the intro that bugged the hell out of me. The video was similar. The eye-line matching close-ups weren't as close and the pulling out crane shots were so predictable. Overall, not really worth the three hours. I rate this o.k. because it wasn't up to par for this team, but not bad enough to talk shit about.
An Italian Spanish West German spaghetti western directed by Sergio Leone, starring Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Gian Maria Volonte and Klaus Kinski.
A pair of bounty hunters form a partnership to defeat a gang of bandits who rob a bank.
This was somewhat less than wonderful. The plot did not hold my attention. I thought most of it was filler that buried the real story. The characters were fine, but not exactly original. I've seen Clint Eastwood play that same role in that same costume too many times. The video was very Leone, featuring eye line matching on extreme close-ups and pull-back crane shots. The soundtrack was probably my favorite part. Ennio Morricone always does a great job in a predictable style. Overall, just another spaghetti western. I rate this adequate. It was decent, but nothing special.
An Italian West German Spanish spaghetti western directed by Sergio Leone, starring Clint Eastwood and Gian Maria Volonte.
A lone cowboy enters a town controlled by two rival gangs. By working for both of them, he plays them against one another to their ultimate destruction.
This is Yojimbo (1961) with cowboys instead of samurais. The greatest appreciation of this can be gained by watching both films. Same goes for Seven Samurai (1954) and The Magnificent Seven (1960). They are all so good and the mirror images across the world are so similar that I can't decide if I like cowboys or samurais. The plot was good enough for a famous director to steal and get sued for, so it's good enough for me. The characters were stereotypical and undeveloped, except the main character. He was undeveloped, but showed more depth and was less stereotypical than the others. There was mystery surrounding him and his motives for his actions. The visual style featured extreme close-ups and long crane shots, which is common for Leone. The soundtrack for this is very memorable, like most of the spaghetti western genre. Being written by Ennio Morricone obviously played a large role in this. Overall, we've got a quality western with lots to type about. I rate it good.
