An American action series directed by Mark di Salle, David Worth, Albert Pyun, Rick King and Kristine Peterson, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme.
A man's brother is injured in a Thai boxing match and he trains with an old man to get revenge. Then it all goes down the toilet.
This series had a great start, faltered in #2, came back with drama/comedy in #3 and then died. I can't believe someone re-booted it (2016, 2018, 2020) after what a disaster #5 was. The first one is a classic. It has style, the viewer cares about the characters and there are extended training scenes. The second was annoying at best, but there was a kid with a King Diamond shirt (image) in the beginning. The third resurrected the series. There was a large sub-plot about kidnapped girls, but the main plot was about the hero, the old man and 2 kids. Sasha Mitchell did a great job in his role as David Sloane. He was expressive and charismatic. He was not so great in #2 and #4. Speaking of #4, it was one of the worst films I've ever seen. The main plot of the tournament would have been fine, but there was this added thing with an abducted wife, a ninja and an EXTREMELY graphic sex scene. If it were not following such crap, #5 would have been terrible. I thought it was really boring. The moral of the story here is to watch #1 & #3, but not the rest. I'm rating the whole series o.k. because of the wildly variable quality.
An American science fiction directed by Terry Gilliam, starring Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt and Christopher Plummer.
A man from the future is sent back into the past to gather information about a disease which kills many people. He meets a psychiatrist there who tries to help him.
I don't know whether I really like or hate this movie, but it's nowhere in between. The plot holds my attention (I've seen it a few times before) and the characters are developed some. Video looks good, with excellent shot variety and uncommon angles. The audio on the version I just watched was a little low, but nothing major. It's not an identifiable film element which makes me question whether I hate it. All of that is done really well. It may be that I watched it in a bad situation of some kind the first time. Brad Pitt's acting in this made me want to see a late 1990s film with him and Johnny Depp. Just one of those strange thoughts. I give this a weird pink rating because I can't decide whether it's best or worst. You should probably read some other reviews if you're deciding whether to watch it.
An American action directed by Andrew Sipes, starring William Baldwin and Christopher McDonald.
A lawyer is being hunted by Russian hackers and a cop is trying to protect her. The hackers want to steal money from a bank by accessing it through a computer.
This seemed like it was written by a pubescent boy. It was actually written by Paula Gosling (female) and was already made into a film in Cobra (1986). Wikipedia says that it performed badly at the box office and with critics, but does not site individual insults. That's o.k., I have my own. Anything that was not chases, explosions, gunfights or implied sex was filled with poorly written jokes. Like I said, written by a boy who is still amused by violence, but has become aware of the female body and has yet to learn what a cliche is. I blame almost everything on bad writing, but this is among the 5 worst written films i've seen. The dialogue made me question whether an adult thought this was good enough to film. Wikipedia says that the director stopped talking to anyone at some point. I can only imagine that this was when he gave up on the project. Totally off topic, check out this dude's facial hair (image) Just sideburns, nothing else. This is another thing that makes me think "an adult thought this was o.k.?" I rate this shit because I can't think of anything good to say about it. DO NOT WATCH!
A Chinese drama directed by Wong Kar-wai, starring Leon Lai, Takeshi Kaneshiro and Karen Mok.
Four people rattle around Hong Kong. One man lives with his father and works at closed stores at night. The other man is an assassin. One woman shakes and may have some relationship with the assassin. The other woman likes rain and wants a relationship with the assassin.
I guess this is the Chinese version of Mike Leigh's British slice of life dramas. I like the camera-work more, but the plots less. There were so many good shots with dutch angles, reflections and blurs. The motorcycle through the tunnel was absolutely beautiful (image). If all you want is the video and don't care about any other aspect, I would recommend this. Not so much for any other reason. I rate it o.k.
An American western directed by Jim Jarmusch, starring Johnny Depp, Lance Henriksen, Crispin Glover, Iggy Pop, Billy Bob Thornton, Jared Harris, Gabriel Byrne, John Hurt, Alfred Molina and Robert Mitchum.
An urban man goes to a rural town where he was promised a job, only to be denied. He spends the night with a woman whose husband comes home in the morning. A gunfight ensues and they are all shot. The urban man then steals a horse and wanders around the wilderness with a Native American called Nobody. The husband's father has meanwhile sent bounty hunters and ordered wanted posters to be posted.
This was my second time watching this and the ending left me wondering about when the main character dies. The video was all in black and white and the only thing that puzzled me slightly was the main character's POV without glasses was still in sharp focus. The plot was a little sparse, but even the minor characters were memorable. I don't write here to drag this out into forced over-analysis. I rate it adequate. You should really watch other Jim Jarmusch films.
A Romanian American science fiction series directed by Ernest Farino, Frank Arnold and Mark Manos.
A boy gets into the middle of an argument between 2 scientists from the future over a world-changing device. He then visits various times and places as the scientists continue their duel.
So cheesy. At least it was cohesively so, unlike Trancers. The plots and characters were a joke and the pacing left much to be desired. What should have been quick was slow and what should have been slow was quick. There were clear fabrications of action scenes, as evidenced by the fact that no human is stupid enough to make the mistakes which caused them. The props and sets were pitiful. It all looked vacant, like there was not enough money to furnish anything appropriately. The boy goes crazy over finding a girls' bike in the second film. Did I mention that the writing, dialogue and acting were terrible? If there were any reason to watch this, it was to see how far special effects have come since 1996. To really get down to the root of the problem, I think this was grossly under-funded. I rate it poor because I watched it all and have seen much worse.
A British documentary directed by Martin Scorsese and Michael Henry Wilson.
The famous film director, Martin Scorsese narrates his perspective on the history of American films.
This seemed very professional and cohesive. I just wish he had included the period of his career and his contemporaries in the timeline. Clocking in somewhere between 3 and 4 hours, it's engineered for those with a deep interest in movies and filmmaking.The information density was just about right. He spoke on each topic and showed clips for enough time that the viewer could digest the information without getting tired of it. There was the main interview with Scorsese himself and this was supplemented by possibly second hand footage of interviews with other directors who further illustrate the points that Scorsese is making. The whole "documentaries about movies" genre interests me a great deal. The interviewees on this type of film are talking about their job, but there's a meta level at which they are speaking about what is happening right then and what they are currently a part of, like standing between 2 mirrors or like Russian dolls. The camera-work for the main interview was as dull as it gets. He was always in the center of the frame, looking at the unmoving camera on a tripod. There was some zoom or cropping used, but that was all. Showing clips from the films that he spoke of was the best part. It illustrated his point while adding interest. I thought the audio all sounded right. Even switching between the main interview, secondary interviews and film clips, there were not noticeable volume differences. IMDb has an 8.6/10 rating listed and Rotten Tomatoes lists 100% Tomatometer with 96% Audience Score for an average of 94%. That's one of the best scores I've seen on any consensus average. I thought it was a fine documentary and very professionally made, but a solid A grade seems a little high to me. I rate this adequate. I'll be keeping it with the rest of my "films about films" and would recommend it to anyone who is interested enough in the subject to watch something over 3 hours long.
A Chinese wuxia directed by Jeffrey Lau, starring Stephen Chow, Ng Man-tat, Karen Mok and Law Kar-ying.
The monkey King has upset Buddha by trying to eat Longevity Monk and is disguised as a man named Joker. He leads a band of robbers who are attacked by immortal sisters. A time travel box is found and Joker must prevent one of the sisters from committing suicide, but when he does, he goes 500 years back in time. His marriage to the immortal sister is taking place at Bull King's home, but people's bodies get switched. Joker puts on the crown and becomes Monkey King again to fight Bull King.
Stephen Chow as the Monkey King in a 1995 wuxia is the answer to my heart's desires. It was 3 hours of fast paced action comedy in classic Chow dead-pan delivery. The plot reads like the mess that flies across the screen on Hong Kong wire. Characters? Forget trying to keep track of them. As long as you know who Stephen Chow is at the moment and which sister is which, you're set. The guy from India and the pig man appear at some point... It seems to me that there is more than what is apparent lost in translation between Chinese and English. Anything involving phrasing is immediately gone, among countless other things. Do you know comedic Chinese speech inflections? I don't. What survived of the comedy was mostly physical: crotch-stomping, smashed by rocks, pig man with woman's voice type humor. Alright, that is pretty funny. The sets looked like they took years to build. We had giant set pieces for less than a minute of some special effects. The heart set looked like Jim Henson made it while in an altered state of mind and the big pole set was way over the top for how little it was used. The smashed by a rock door set even had a hidden trick up its sleeve. Camera-work looked a little inferior, but that was mostly because of the extremely low video quality. There were also some shakes, jumps and blurs besides pixellation. It did conform to wuxia imagery standards. There was lots of contrast and strong lighting, back-lighting and overly color corrected scenes. As stated above, the special effects were one of the main focal points. They were mostly done in-camera with set pieces, but there were some digital size manipulations and compositing scenes as well. In Chinese audio situations, dialogue volume is not my top priority. The music and sound effects worked. I got mostly good subtitles that I didn't try switching because I didn't want to lose what little functionality there was. Style was like mixing Bride with White Hair, Legend of Liquid Sword and Jim Henson's The Storyteller (crazy, cheesy and good!). Part 1 got 7.9/10 on IMDb and part 2 got 8.1/10. Rotten Tomatoes gives the whole deal 87% audience score. 82.3% average sounds pretty high for a general population/mainstream website grade. I rate this awesome! If you like Stephen Chow, Hong Kong wire flying, comedy, fantasy and special effects to the point that it becomes absurd, you will agree.
A Danish American science fiction action directed by Albert Pyun, starring Sue Price.
A genetic mutant's mother flees the future with her baby and travels back in time to 1980s Africa. The mother is killed, but the daughter is raised by an African tribe to be a warrior. A monster/cyborg from the future finds the mutant woman. Conflict ensues.
This was pretty crappy. The plot made almost no sense at all and was not communicated very clearly. Only the main character had a name. I think this illustrates how little character development there was. Sue Price had not reached the level of bodybuilding in which we see her in Nemesis 4, so she still looked female and not like He-Man. The video looked so bad that it was almost TROMA-esque and the audio was no better. The special effects were poorly done, but they included a ripple effect around the antagonist and a magic knife. The subtitles that I got were crap and this made a working knowledge of African language necessary to understand the first third of the film. Overall, you would really be better off watching something else. I rate this poor.
An American propaganda film directed by Rob Reiner, starring Michael Douglas, Martin Sheen, David Paymer and Michael J. Fox.
The president has a romantic relationship with an environmental lobbyist while trying to pass a bill about guns or crime.
This was so unrealistic that I almost called it a fantasy film. Although technically well-made, the plot and characters were absurd to the point of comedy. Happy and innocent-looking Michael J. Fox cast as a heartless reptilian Rothschild? HAHAHAHAHA! All of the people working at the White House acted like voting mattered and nothing was predetermined. The president made decisions about his speeches. NO TELEPROMPTERS! That one blew me away! Everything was an example of what the American people have been duped into believing was the case in politics. I just read Wikipedia and found out why this film is the way it is. Aaron Sorkin, the writer, was high on crack. So much for the war on drugs! Overall, this gave me something to write about and is funny if you know what's actually going on in the world. I rate it o.k. because I would never watch it again.
An American fantasy directed by Frank Oz, starring Richard Jenkins, Steve Coogan and David Keith.
A boy receives an antique cupboard and a toy Indian for his birthday. When he puts the Indian into the cupboard, closes and re-opens the door, the Indian is alive.
Standard, classic kids' flick. The simple premise of the plot was expanded a little bit by the interactions of the child, Indian and other characters. The characters themselves did not develop very much. The boy supposedly learned respect and responsibility by the misuse of his magic cupboard. The video had good special effects. It looked like forced perspective and compositing combined with creative framing and editing to me. I was unable to easily find an explanation of how the small and large characters were combined. The audio was not so great. I could hear all of the dialogue, but the soundtrack music was way over the top. The gigantic symphonic piece that plays when the Indian first comes to life was too early for such "magical" music to be used. This theme continued throughout the duration. The pacing was way too fast, with hardly any setup time before the cupboard is opened on a living toy character. It almost left nowhere to go. They built it up too quickly and made the rest of the film seem inconsequential. I know it was based on the book and that's how the story was written. The theme that disturbed me most was theft. This kid is a kleptomaniac, stealing anything and everything to give to his little friend. Overall, a little too hokey and lacking in plot development. I rate it tolerable.
An American disaster thriller directed by Wolfgang Petersen, starring Dustin Hoffman, Morgan Freeman, Cuba Gooding Jr., Donald Sutherland and Kevin Spacey.
A military medical research team goes to Africa to investigate a new disease. It turns out that a monkey carrying the disease has been illegally shipped to America and has infected people. The disease mutates to spread more rapidly and tensions rise.
This is pretty standard of the disaster thriller genre. I would say even exemplary! The plot follows the rising action, showing people getting sick and military leaders freaking out about the disaster. Dustin Hoffman plays his psychotherapist role. Amidst the chaos, he is the rock of reason with Cuba Gooding Jr. as his sidekick. Even though Hoffman's character's own life is in the middle of a messy divorce, he remains steady. The video was very active. There was lots of camera movement and lots of quick editing cuts between simultaneous scenes and even angles within a scene. The audio was basically good. I could hear all of the dialogue and the music didn't get in the way. Overall, not bad. I rate it adequate. It would get a better rating if I liked disaster thriller flicks.
A Swiss Austrian American romance directed by Richard Linklater, starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.
A young man meets a young woman on a train across Europe. They become interested in each other and at the man's stop, he asks the woman to wander through the city with him all night before he leaves on a plane and she leaves on the train. She agrees and they fall in love.
Pretty well made. For such a simple plot, it held my attention quite well. This is one of those films where two people talking can be interesting. The two main characters reminded me of Wesley and Buttercup from The Princess Bride (1987), but more modern. The video was planned and executed flawlessly. It all seemed to be one long conversation as the pair walk through scene after scene. The audio featured audible dialogue and a soundtrack that I didn't even notice was there. The music was so appropriate that it just blended into the plot and video seamlessly. Now that I'm through singing it's technical praises, there are only two points on which I disagree. Romance is not my favorite genre and the woman was begging for sex beginning around 1:14 without receiving any positive feedback until around 1:20. It started with a "let's see if the glass slipper fits" remark atop a stone stairway and was not resolved until 2 or 3 scenes later in the park. As a side-note, this couple was featured in Waking Life (2001) in bed, having a conversation about dreams. Overall, a technical masterpiece that was fun to watch, but not my favorite genre. I'm rating it good for these exact reasons.
A Japanese daikaiju science fiction directed by Takao Okawara.
Use of nuclear technology has awakened prehistoric monsters that mutate. Godzilla is going through a nuclear meltdown as he fights the largest of these monsters.
This was not so hot. The monsters were really cool, but the film was so poorly made that it's almost not worth watching. The horrible plot was made worse by terrible acting. Seriously, you would be better off just looking at a picture of Destoroyah. Overall, no good. I rate this poor.
An American horror comedy directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith, starring Warwick Davis and Caroline Williams.
The leprechaun is sold to a pawn shop in Las Vegas. A wayward teen who is in love with a magician's assistant accidentally finds one of his gold shillings that gets passed around frequently among people at the casino where she works.
This is my favorite Leprechaun movie! This one features the most limericks and best special effects. My favorite limerick is "Ahhh... lovely golden palaces completely full of riches. I'll rip 'em off and rob 'em blind, those dirty sons of bitches". My favorite special effect is the aging woman who has wished herself beautiful being perverted by the leprechaun. This is one of those films that I watched as a kid and has sentimental value. I rate it awesome. Watch it!
An American drama directed by Ang Lee, starring Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Kate Winslet and Hugh Grant.
A rich man dies, leaving everything to his son. The son does not spread the wealth among his sisters. One of his nieces falls in love with a man. But seriously, nothing happens.
BORING! The plot was nearly non-existent and there were so many characters that it was impossible to keep track of them. The video looked good, but the actors all whispered their lines. Except the country couple. They were boisterous, rowdy and jubilant. I liked them. That was the only thing that I liked about this massive mountain of crap. If nothing is going to happen, at least have it directed by Mike Leigh and starring Timothy Spall! I can dig their "slice of life" style of nihilism, but Ang Lee directed Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, for fuck's sake! Overall, entirely disappointing. I rate this shit because I turned it off at 1:33/2:16
An American crime film directed by Spike Lee, starring Harvey Keitel, John Turturro, Delroy Lindo and Keith David.
A drug dealer murders another man on his boss' orders and the dealer's brother is framed for the murder.
This was alright. The plot was complex and held my attention. The characters were mostly stereotypical. I think the main character was a little unbelievable. A real drug dealer would have been very different from this role. The technical aspects were fine. I noticed some high viewpoint shots of "The Benches" that showed when the cops arrived. There was also a good moving close-up of the dealer's chocolate milk as he walked across the scene. I know that the Gangsta video game the boy plays is fiction and a video made just for this film, but the portable system that he uses eludes my research. Was there a Sega Genesis that was worn on the body and had glasses as a display? Overall, a decent flick. I rate it o.k.
An American thriller directed by Clive Barker.
An evil magician is bound by his protege and buried. The protege then fakes his own death. A police investigator is put on the case to deal with damages.
This was cheesy, but not horrible. The main attraction here was special effects. Plot and characters were like a B movie. Pacing and style were typical of '90s horror and thriller flicks. Special effects began with screws on a metal mask turning themselves into the evil magician's face. There were a few fake monsters and fire effects and the ending was mostly video trickery. Another interesting point to note is the evil magician's pet mandrill in the beginning. I thought that was a nice touch. Overall, a cheesy flick with some interesting things to see. I rate it adequate.
An American horror comedy directed by Wes Craven, starring Eddie Murphy and Angela Bassett.
A vampire arrives in New York City, searching for a specific woman. He takes a small-time criminal as an assistant.
This was not so great, but some of the jokes were funny. I liked how the all black cast were depicted so stereotypically. The assistant was a comedian and reminded me of Chris Rock. The video was very dark and the audio included that special type of whispered dialogue that irks me so. Overall, not really worth watching. I rate this poor.
A horror directed by Stuart Gordon, distributed by Full Moon Pictures.A family is in a car accident in which the son is killed and the daughter is blinded. Soon after, the father inherits a castle and brings his family with him to see it. Unfortunately for them, the previous owner kept her son in the basement and he is still there.It's a little bit difficult to write a review for this type of film. It was a B horror flick and everything was cheesy. Being Full Moon, I expected nice, clean camera-work. This was not the case. Most of the scenes were very dark and the camera angles were strange. Most Full Moon monsters are very clearly visible as well, but this was an exception to that rule. I'm rating it poor because it didn't meet my minimal expectations.
