An American horror directed by Francis Ford Coppola, starring Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins and Gary Oldman.
We all know the Dracula story.
Another good one in a row. Also very easy to mock: Francis For Crappola made Shaft Stroker's Jackula. Casting was perfect on this. Unbeknownst in 1992 was the fact that the leading couple would be paired again in Destination Wedding (2018). I have generally believed that children from this fictional union would be great actors. Visual effects were great, camerawork and editing looked good. I'll stop. I rate this best Watch it!
An American samurai fantasy directed by Carl Rinsch, starring Keanu Reeves and Hiroyuki Sanada.
A "half breed" (English Japanese, but this is never mentioned) man is in love with the daughter of a feudal lord. A witch is fooling around with the political situation to have the lord executed and an evil man installed in his place, engaged to the daughter. The son of the lord and the half breed gather a group of fighters to dethrone the evil man.
Very pretty, but pretty boring. The plot failed to hold my attention. Some of the characters were developed and changed over the duration (son of the feudal lord goes from hating Keanu to fighting alongside him). I really didn't get the half English thing. I thought he was half Tengu and that the witch should have been played by a white woman because then the non-human characters would also be non-Asian. The video was mostly new Hollywood style, without a hint of Japanese framing (like camera on the roof). There were also tons of digital effects. If some physical effects like models, props and mechanically animated costumes had been mixed in, it would have been more convincing. Audio was decent and I could hear everything. It also came with good subtitles. I rate it o.k. because of too much CG and 1 white actor on an all-Asian cast.
American action films directed by Chad Stahelski, starring Keanu Reeves.
A former assassin's wife has died and left him a dog. Attracted by his reputation and wealth, a Russian mobster's son kills the dog and steals the car. The assassin comes out of retirement for revenge. Once he regains his automobile and adopts a new canine companion, an old business partner calls upon him for work in his old trade. The assassin says no and the co-worker burns down his house. Desiring retirement, the assassin agrees to the job and accomplishes it, but people were lying and not everyone knows the whole story, so with a $7 million bounty on him, the assassin is pitted against the entire workforce of his old job.
I know that the plot sounds interesting. It's not a bad movie, but I'm writing about it because of how mediocre and predictable it was. Has modern American action cinema become the decadent and trite type of crap that China produced in the 1980s? It's getting pretty close. 1980s Chinese films had a rich history of martial arts, kung fu and far eastern culture to draw upon. Modern American films have recording and editing technology to draw upon. We've got the same type of revenge plots going on, films are dominated by action sequences and all of them seem to share sets and costumes. Where 1980s China had the ancient sets and costumes, 2010s America has modern and futuristic items. It seems that American heroes now wear black and fight in cities. There is always a car chase and guns are the weapon of choice. Another similarity is audio production. 1980s Chinese films hardly passed a second without "whoosh" or "whack" being heard with clipping audio levels. America has done the same thing with guns. If a character even thinks about a gun, it sounds like there is a busy factory cutting and pressing steel machine parts. I would conclude that 2010s American action films are too similar to 1980s Chinese action films. Go ahead and watch them if you want, but don't expect anything different or interesting. I rate this o.k. and would recommend it to fans of Drunken Shaolin Monk 4, Flying Tiger Fist of Death 6 and Revenge of the Kung Fu Dragon.
A fantasy directed by Taylor Hackford, starring Keanu Revves, Al Pacino and Charlize Theron.An unbelievably successful lawyer is hired by a New York law firm. While he is busy winning cases, his wife becomes mentally and Physically ill and his mother preaches to him about the evils of the city and money. Meanwhile, his boss is showing him all of the fun things that come with success.Before I get into the deep stuff, I have to say that I can watch this movie a million times and still like it. That deserves some major credit. The style and characters make the film. Anyway, it brings up the Christian ideologies of god and satan and applies these to situations in our world. Besides the whole lot of it being a flat out lie, satan is shown winning. By the way, in google, when you don't capitalize god, nothing happens. When you forget to capitalize satan, google says it's misspelled. I rest my case about the company that had a motto of "don't be evil". IF you believe in this theology, satan does have some better ideas. In fact, I was a non-practicing satanist until I woke up to the new world order. The main thing that changed my mind was not wanting to follow the same religion as the (presidents) Bush family. Now that we understand the powers that control money and are behind the scenes in Hollywood, I'd like to say that this film has new world order written all over it... but I'm rating it best.
A thriller directed by Andrew Davis, starring Keanu Reeves and Morgan Freeman.Scientists working on a water driven power source have their experiment sabotaged and it blows up a neighborhood in Chicago. Now a wanted criminal, the main scientist runs from the law while trying to figure out what's going on.This lacked a good plot, convincing characters and any resemblance of style. The pace was quick, but with all of these things working against it, that meant nothing. I tried to watch it because I had seen Reeves and Freeman in other films where they did a good job. In this film, that was not allowed. I'm rating this shit because it's just totally worthless.
A science fiction action series by Andy and Larry Wachowsky, starring Keanu Reeves.In a post-apocalyptic future, machines self-replicate and rule the world, growing humans like crops. They keep the fields asleep inside a computer program that seems to be reality. Free humans fight against the machines in and out of the program.I was shocked to learn that the sequels were both released in the same year. The special effects are the main focal point in this series, with people flying and dodging bullets. If I were to look for a prime example of Hollywood bullshit, I would find this. The characters are so static and unchanging that they shouldn't be able to move, but here they are flying! However, entertainment overrides cinematic value as this gets an adequate review. Special effects do have their place and I have to give it some credit for being the epitome of Hollywood bullshit. Besides, Keanu Reeves is cool.
A horror by Francis Ford Coppola, starring Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves.A Transylvanian immortal buys property in London and moves there. He tries to take a wealthy English woman for his bride, but her male guardians protect her.This is a decent retelling of the Dracula story, but it is more based on the 1931 film than the book. The style and pacing were great, but there were so many inaccuracies from the book that I won't talk about characters or plot. Just based on what's there, I'm rating it good for entertainment value alone.
A drama directed by Richard Linklater, starring Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder.An undercover police officer observes the activities of his friends in an attempt to bust their dealer.Rotoscoping! YES! It's extremely effective in this film and probably eliminated a special effects budget that would have been astronomical otherwise. The characters are good and all that, but there are some parts that I would like to mention as my favorites. When the young men return to their house and think that it has been broken into, Keanu has a classic Reeves moment and says "The doodads, man!". Another interesting section is Freck's attempted suicide. This doesn't get awesome because it strikes too close to home and makes me feel weird. I'm rating it good.
A science fiction directed by Robert Longo.Keanu Reeves is an information smuggler who puts too much data in his implant. Problems occur after he loads his brain with twice as much data as it can hold and when he gets to the city where he was supposed to go, he is forced to seek "alternative medicine" from black market doctors.The audio and video were alright.check out: The Chinese people at the upload site select key images from "Demon City Shinjuku", but the images on the slip of paper are clearly not from that anime. Also, "I want room service! Mexican beers! 10,000 dollar a night hookers!"It was alright, I guess. The inferior CG looks closer to 1985 from the 2010 point of view. Also dating the movie is the low amount of memory in Keanu's brain (pun intended). 160GB is not all that much. I also don't see how they can exceed the memory limit, because when I try to do that with a storage device, it just stops and what doesn't fit stays where it was. They must be running something better than Windows XP. If you like cheesy science fiction, you might like this.
A mystery directed by Sam Raimi.Police and a woman with psychic abilities investigate a murder in a small town.The audio and video were good.check out: Keanu Reeves as a villain again.For fuck's sake, how many times do we need to see psychics and police investigating murders? If it's not in a small town in the country, then they're in a large city like New York. For a plot that's staler than gum on the bottom of a bus seat, this film gets a horrid review.
A romantic fantasy directed by Alejandro Agresti.A man and woman begin writing letters to one another, not knowing that the woman lives 2 years in the future and when the man sees her in his time, she has yet to meet him through the mail.The audio and video were top quality.check out: The setup for the ending that changes.This is one of the few romantic movies that I can tolerate. The premise is good enough that I care less about the romance part of it. It's also part of the Keanu Reeves binge that's happening now. I don't know what drove me to it, but the results are very mixed: Some good, some alright, and some real shit. I'm calling this good because I liked it even though it's from a genre that I don't usually care for.
A crime drama directed by Joe Charbanic.A serial killer who dispatches young women with piano string is followed by "Captain Barbituate", the detective. The killer sends a picture of his next victim to the detective and the whole police force organizes to find her before 9pm.The audio and video were good.check out: Keanu Reeves playing a villain.This is the same old cops and criminals story. It's like they have a form for creating these things. I'm saying o.k. because I liked seeing Keanu as the bad guy. His dancing, however, is sub-par.
A drama directed by Bernardo Bertolucci.An American boy is contacted by Buddhist monks trying to find the reincarnation of their teacher. He goes with them to their temple along with 2 other candidates.The audio was amazingly good. The video was good too.check out: A white Buddha?This was boring and uninteresting all the way through. It takes a lot more to get a good rating on this blog, but it didn't absolutely suck either. O.k.
A remake directed by Scott Derrickson.An alien comes to earth to "destroy all humans" and is greeted by the military. He escapes and is befriended by a female scientist.The audio and video were good.check out: This is really how humans would greet an alien visitor, isn't it?Remaking a science fiction movie and upgrading special effects is a questionable issue. Keanu Reeves is good, but in a lot of bad movies. I'm saying it's o.k. because there isn't enough evidence to call it bad.
A drama directed by Rebecca Miller.A dysfunctional family has problems.The video was good, but the audio was a fucking disaster.check out: Keanu Reeves' tattoo.I got 35 minutes into this and turned it off because I couldn't hear the plot and there were no subtitles to inform me of what was going on. What plot I did hear was lame and boring. I feel this may have something to do with the female director. Don't watch this movie.
A romantic comedy written, produced and directed by Nancy Meyers.Relationships are shuffled like cards when Jack Nicholson has a heart attack at his girlfriend's mother's house. While they are at the hospital, Dr, Keanu Reeves falls for the mother and when Jack has to stay with the mother, They get into a serious relationship as well.The audio and video were good quality.check out: The butch-dyke sister.At the 1 hour mark, I had had just about enough of this and even thought that it was ending... Until I looked at the timer. There was another hour left! I finally turned it off after the mother had been crying for quite some time and showed no signs of stopping. This is what we call a "chick-flick". That means that people of the male persuasion (like myself) would rather gargle broken glass than watch it. I don't know what "gives" in the movie, but I know what it gets... A brutally shitty review!
A fantasy directed by Francis Lawrence.A modern exorcist works to save his soul by fighting demons.The audio was slightly inferior, but the video was good.check out: The special effects in the liquor store.This is a paradox film. It has equal good and bad parts. For example, Keanu drinks cough syrup and puts out cigarettes in a pool of his own blood, but there is a massive amount of new world order symbolism. The special effects are great, but it's also a predictive programming piece to push Christianity. For this, I give it an o.k review.
A drama directed by Gus Van Sant.Gay guys have tough times.The audio was bad (I will no longer use the term "whisper-blast") and the video was o.k.check out: the cover-boy scene.I like Keanu Reeves and have said that films that are straight-forward about gayness are o.k., but This film sucks as much cock as it's characters. No plot + bad audio = SHIT!
an undercover cop movie directed by kathryn bigelowkeanu reeves and gary busey are cops assigned to track down bank robbers that wear president masks and also surf. keanu goes undercover to infiltrate their social circle.the audio was o.k. and the video was good.keanu played one of the few roles that he fits as a surfer. the bill and ted movies made it difficult for him to play some roles, but he does it anyway. I normally hate gary busey with an unholy passion, but I think he and keanu make good police partners. this film gets a good rating for making me enjoy it despite the inclusion of one of my least favorite actors. I may even watch it again sometime.
