A Canadian comedy directed by Matthiew Klinck, starring Joe Mantegna.
A pair of male Easter bunnies who live together get fired because they skipped hiding eggs in a house.
This was rather odd. The plot held my attention because the premise was so strange. The characters were cast well, but didn't come with much back-story. Grown men in Easter bunny costumes definitely gets the viewer's attention. The video was done quite well. I could see everything that was happening very clearly and there were some creative camera angles used. The audio was a little low, but I won't really hold that against it. I think that the weird choices of soundtrack music worked well in this case. Overall, this is basically what I'm looking for in a movie to give a good rating. It's something that was made well and stands out in a crowd. I rate this good. Watch it!
An American documentary directed by Kirsten Johnson.
Clips from other documentaries of a filmmaker's career are shown.
This was alright and desultory. The individual pieces were fine, but they were strung together in a chaotic sequence that didn't make any sense. The camera-work was expertly done and there were some revealing interviews. The audio was very low for most of it and some was in foreign languages. The subtitles were not made very visible, but seemed to be correct. Overall, a pretty mess. I rate it o.k.
A German American documentary directed by Laura Poitras.
The American government is spying on citizens and this information gets leaked out.
This was boring. The subject matter did not hold my interest because I already knew that the government is spying on everything everyone does. The whispered dialogue did not help this fact. There were inexpertly done interviews like when the fire alarm goes off in a hotel and they keep filming. These were intercut with news footage from TV. Overall, not worth watching. I turned it off at the hour mark, which is half way through the duration. I rate this shit. DO NOT WATCH!!!
A British art documentary directed by Banksy.
A man who is obsessed with recording videos gets into street art.
This was interesting and fun. The subject matter was lively. These people were putting art on walls illegally, so there was a sense of danger and freedom vs. authority. The interviews were done very well and including the videos that the main character made was the best decision of the film. The video was varied, but the audio was mixed well in post-production. There was a lot of handheld camera, but it ended up working out well. Overall, a cool documentary about street art. I rate this good. Watch it!
A West German Spanish slasher directed by Jesus Franco.
A scientist doctor is ostracized for his research and kills himself. His wife takes revenge on the co-workers who condemned him.
I feel like I've seen this before. The plot was pretty stale, even for Franco. What separates this from the other film with the same plot is that the wife stabs guys' dicks off with scissors. The characters completely lacked development. The video was artsy enough to hold my attention a little bit. Some female nudity helped there too. The audio was in German and I found good English subtitles. The music was even staler than the plot. I could swear it was recycled from another Franco flick. Overall, very tired, mediocre and lackluster. I rate this tolerable.
An American documentary directed by Josh Kriegman and Elyse Steinberg.
A New York City politician is having trouble running for an election because he sent sexual messages to a woman online.
This was alright at best. The subject matter was mildly amusing, but not very engaging or thought provoking. The footage that the camera crew got of the politician and his wife was actually good. It seemed like they planned the shots well and didn't just go and shoot junk. There weren't really interviews because this was done in "fly on the wall" style, just documenting what happened. Morals and ethics come into question here. He only sent digital messages. He was never even in the same room as the woman/women he was talking with. I have a hard time seeing how that should be such a big issue. This goes along with my indiscriminate looking without touching rule. Overall, a pretty mediocre documentary. I rate it o.k.
A Canadian documentary directed by Sarah Polley.
A young woman makes a documentary about her deceased mother's life and finds her real father.
This was alright. The subject matter was very personal to the filmmaker and the interviewees. The audio and video were expertly done and technically sound. There were some sections that should have been edited out like asking people to repeat a line. There were old home movies included in which the video was not so great, but they helped to tell the story. The story of the mother's life held more intrigue than one would initially expect. Overall, a very personal narrative to release for the general public. I rate this tolerable because I don't really care about their family, but the technical aspect was done quite well.
An Iranian documentary directed by Jafar Panahi and Mojtaba Mirtahmasb.
An Iranian filmmaker has just served a 6 year jail term and has a 20 year hold placed on his film career. He invites a friend over to film him explaining his script, but they get distracted.
It's right, this is not a film. There was no plot and one of the three characters was the camera operator who wouldn't cut when the director told him to. The garbage man was my favorite character. OH! I forgot the iguana! Four characters then. And the dog, that's five. The video was not really the best I've seen. Sure, it was good quality, but lacking in substance and material. The audio was in Persian, with accurate English subtitles. Overall, this would be something for the director to share with his friends, not for public release. I rate this poor. You really shouldn't watch it.
An American music documentary directed by Morgan Neville.
The lives and careers of female black background singers are examined.
This was not really to my liking. The interviews were good and I think that they covered the subject pretty well. There were plenty of examples of the music that these women worked on. The video was done quite well and even included a little bit of special effects. The scene that I'm thinking of involved multiple copies of one woman singing around a microphone (picture). The audio was of excellent quality and the dialogue and music were mixed correctly. What I did not like was the subject matter. I'm really just not interested in background singers. Overall, a well-made documentary about a subject that does not interest me. I rate it tolerable.
A Czechoslovakian fantasy directed by Jaromil Jires.
A 13 year old girl is dreaming about being accosted by her grandmother and a monster man named Polecat. She also falls in love with a guy who might be her brother.
This was totally incoherent, but totally awesome. The plot was so disjointed and muddy as to make almost no sense at all. The characters were identifiable, but lacked development in most cases. The video was absolutely amazing. The sets and costumes combined with composition, framing, creative camera angles and good camera-work to create a beautiful viewing experience. The audio was in Czech, but there were accurate English subtitles. The dialogue and music were mixed correctly as well. Overall, complete and utter chaos magic. I rate this awesome. Watch it even though it doesn't make sense.
An American horror directed by Tom Savini, starring Tony Todd.
A brother and sister go to the graveyard to see their mother's grave. Dead people become zombies.
Evaluating a remake of a classic movie happens sometimes. I think the casting was done well and everything was just played by the book. Let's set this as medium ok.
A Turkish documentary directed by Ceyda Torun.
Stray cats in Istanbul interact with people.
This was all about B-roll. The plot was sparse and simplistic, illustrating certain cats and relationships between cats and humans. The interviews were on topic. The video was done very well and consisted mainly of cats in this city. The audio was in Turkish and the version that I watched had accurate English subtitles. There really isn't much more to say. Overall, it's a movie about cats. Watch it if you want to stare at cats for an hour and 17 minutes. I rate this adequate because the video looked good.
An Italian film directed by Gianfranco Rosi.
There is a little boy who likes to play with his slingshot. There is a doctor. There are African refugees on a boat.
What did I just watch? Wikipedia says it's a documentary and that people liked it. It's supposed to illustrate a political problem. It also said that there were interviews. There was no coherent plot and no rhyme or reason to any of it. Gianfranco Rosi must be kissing asses when he's not filming incoherent trash. This was a horrid waste of time and I want the past hour and 54 minutes of my life back. I rate this shit. DO NOT WATCH!!!!!!!
A British music documentary directed by Asif Kapadia, starring Amy Winehouse.
A biography of the pop star jazz singer.
This was interesting. I actually saw the beginning in one of my classes at school and it just happened to come up on my list. The subject matter held my attention because of the drug addiction, eating disorders and this British girl singing like an old black woman. The found footage style was carried through the duration and ended up working out well. Having lyrics displayed on screen was another good idea. The audio was mostly good and only low quality phone call style in a few isolated spots. Although I don't like pop stars, I do like jazz and stories of troubled times in general. I'm rating this adequate. It's worth watching.
An American comedy directed by Dennis Dugan, starring Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Lainie Kazan and Rob Schneider.
An Israeli counter-terrorist moves to New York City to be a hairdresser.
This is why I don't watch comedy. The plot was trite and vapid trash. The characters were living, breathing stereotypes and the main character was a white man playing Middle Eastern. There were some interesting video effects like hacky sack with a cat. The audio was good quality technically, but the content was annoying. The whole deal seemed like a cheap ploy to make Americans like Middle Eastern people. Overall, a steaming heap of new Hollywood bullshit (haven't used that one in a while). I rate this bad. DO NOT WATCH!!!
An American documentary directed by Ken Burns, Sarah Burns and David McMahon.
Five boys are coerced by the police to confess to the rape of a woman that they did not commit. They are later sentenced to maximum jail terms for it before the guilty man admits to it.
This was not like Ken Burns at all. I didn't see any zooms in or out on still photos taking up most of the duration. The subject matter dealt with racism and police abusing their power, children forced to give false confessions and a total failure of the criminal justice system. The interviews were done very well and the interviewees showed lots of emotion. The B-roll was relevant and there were some still photos and news footage. I think that the most powerful scene was the men (not boys anymore) standing still and describing how this affected their lives as people walked past in the background. Overall, a pretty decent documentary. I rate this adequate.
A Serbian horror directed by Srđan Spasojević.
A retired porn star is hired by a director to make a new film. The actor is initially put off by the nature of the material that is being created and things only get stranger.
This was wild! There is subject matter depicted in this film that mixes sex and gore. The plot follows the actor as he is hired and filming begins. He eventually blacks out and has to watch tapes to remember what happened and then there is an almost foreseen surprise at the end. The characters were slightly developed. I think that the casting was done very well. The director fit his role best in my view. One of the disturbing sections to me is the actor's son talking about "little wheels". The video was chaotic to say the least. However, correct exposure seems to have been kept in mind. The audio got lost in the shuffle. There was just too much going on to notice volume levels and dialogue/music mixing. The version that I saw was in Serbian, with English subtitles. Overall, not something to share with the family, but very well-made. I rate this awesome. Watch it if you can deal with seeing sex and death simultaneously.
An Australian American horror directed by Greg McLean, starring John Jarratt.
A trio of young people are abducted and tortured by a man in the Australian outback.
This had its pros and cons. The plot was revealed as soon as the protagonists got in their car and drove into a rural area. I knew they would be abducted and tortured and that one of them would escape. The only character that I thought was cast well and did a good job of acting was the psycho killer. He was also the only one with any back-story. The video was mostly dark, but correct lighting was used and there were no significant cases of underexposure. The audio was too dynamic. The whispered dialogue was too quiet and the screams were too loud. Overall, exactly what I expected. I rate this o.k.
An American horror by Dustin Mills.
A mad scientist invites teenagers to his haunted mansion with the promise of a million dollars so his monster can eat them.
This is a lesson in what can be done with very little. The plot was standard science fiction horror and the characters fit stereotypical roles for the genre. What made it good to start with was the writing. Relationships between characters were explained throughout the duration and the dialogue was just amazing. I liked how they combined puppets and CG for most of it and then had a more traditional looking, 2 dimensional cartoon flashback. To make the video, they had puppets, a green screen and a computer. That was it. The audio was what actually told the story. In order to synch the puppets, they would have had the voice actors and sound effects go first. Overall, I like this for the production and the writing. I rate this good.
An American science fiction fantasy directed by Charles Band, starring Tim Thomerson.
Characters from Dollman and Bad Channels fight characters from Demonic Toys.
What a cluster-fuck spinoff! It wasn't even an hour long! The plot was pretty straight forward, but seemed to work just fine. Using characters from three previous films is kind of in bad taste, but ties the films together to create a mythology better than each could have alone. I watched Bad Channels before I started this blog, so like over seven years ago. The video was mostly big sets and creative editing. They didn't even bother with forced perspective or compositing. The audio was mostly fine, but the baby and the clown were making some horrible noises that bothered me. Overall, only worth watching if you've seen the previous films. I think I actually like this more than the others because it just goes straight in and gets the job done. I rate it adequate.
An American science fiction directed by Albert Pyun, starring Tim Thomerson and Nicholas Guest.
A loose-cannon cop chases an intergalactic villain through a portal in space and lands in a world of giants. His ship crash lands in the inner city where gangs run the streets. A woman who is an enemy of the gangs and is on the neighborhood watch picks him up.
This was not as good as I expected from Full Moon. The plot was pretty standard for a science fiction/urban gang violence film of the time. The characters were even more so. The video was the best part. The camera-work and editing were definitely Full Moon style and the special effects were nice and cheesy. Selective framing, compositing and forced perspective were definitely used enough. The audio featured a horrid soundtrack, but sound quality and mixing were done quite well. Overall, stick with Puppet Master and Subspecies for your Full Moon fix. I rate this o.k.
An American crime adventure directed by Charles Laughton, starring Robert Mitchum, Shelley Winters and Lillian Gish.
The father of a boy and girl steals money and hides it in his daughter's doll, swearing both children to secrecy. He is arrested and dies in jail. His prison buddy found out about the money, but not the hiding place and marries the widow when he gets out. He tries to get the children to tell him and they eventually tell after he has killed their mother. The children then take their father's old boat down the river and are found by a woman who adopts orphan children. When the man who is after the money comes into town, conflict continues.
This was all about plot and characters, but had some good video. The plot held my attention even though it was an older film than I usually watch. The characters were cast excellently and the acting was top notch. They didn't have fancy Hollywood tricks to hide behind back then. Some of the best shots were the man's hands (picture), B-roll while the children were in the boat and a symbolic B-roll scene of an owl catching a rabbit. The audio featured some very mournful music and all audible dialogue. Overall, a film that got the basics so right that it deserves a high rating. I'll give it good. Watch it if you're not against old, black and white movies.
An American fantasy directed by Fred Olen Ray and Jim Wynorski, starring Michelle Bauer and Peter Spellos.
A group of American soldiers land on an island populated by dinosaurs and beautiful women. The women sacrifice virgins to a Tyrannosaur and have a prophecy that gods will come to save them from it.
This is the opposite of Jurassic Park (1993). Jurassic Park had a good plot and this had a bad plot. Same goes for all the criteria by which I judge films: writing, acting, camera-work, editing... All the opposite. I haven't seen dinosaurs this bad since the '60s films I watched! They even invented new species! The only positive opposite was nudity and sex. Jurassic park did not have them, this had plenty of nudity and sex. Boobs in the first 3 seconds! Overall, a movie so bad that it actually is pretty funny. I give this a weird pink rating.
An American science fiction comedy directed by Stephen Chiodo, starring Royal Dano and John Vernon.
Like the title says, alien clowns land on Earth and kill people. A young man, his girlfriend, a good police officer (there's some comedy element) and their friends (brothers who drive an ice cream truck) have to save the town.
This is good for some cheap and cheesy entertainment. The plot had logistical holes. Why did the cotton candy kill people wrapped in it, but not harm those who touched it? Same with the clown ice cream/whipped cream/pies. The characters were exactly what I would expect from such an '80s flick, with the ice cream truck driving brothers serving as comic relief. Video effects need to be mentioned. The sets and costumes were awesome in a Full Moon or Tim Burton kind of way. We had clowns flying down the road like they were driving a car, jumping straight up off screen and putting on one hell of a shadow puppet show. Even the seemingly innocuous balloon dog was manipulated by unseen means. The audio was a little on the quiet side at times, but generally decent. Overall, good for fans of '80s science fiction, fantasy and horror. Nobody else. I rate this adequate. It would have gotten a better rating with good plot and characters.
An American documentary directed by Errol Morris.
Two guys in a car shot a cop. Everyone argues over which one did it.
This was pretty standard of court and crime docs. None of the interviews were very impressive and the B-roll was so cheesy and stereotypical that it hurt to watch. The plot followed the timeline of the night of the murder and the duration of the court case. I could instantly tell who was lying just by looking at them. The video looked really high quality for 1988. It's a shame they didn't do anything better with it. Great product placement, by the way. The audio was all great because it was mostly single interviews. Overall, an unimpressive and mediocre film. I rate it tolerable.
An American documentary directed by Jesse Moss.
Multitudes of men are arriving in North Dakota, looking for work in the fracking business. With nowhere to stay, they turn to a pastor who opens the doors of his church to them. He gives them a place to sleep inside or they can park and sleep in the church parking lot. He even brings some of them to live at his house. Unfortunately, the local government is against allowing these people to stay anywhere. Then begins a tale of loss.
This was amazing and tragic. Again, we have a plot that centers on the conflict of freedom vs authority. There is an additional element at the end that I won't spoil. The characters are great. The pastor is really trying to help people and there are the standard drifters. There were a few interviews scattered throughout, but they were not the main focus. The video is really raw and revealing, but decently produced. The audio is where this runs into problems. It's one that I wish I could reposition the microphones for them, run their recorder and remix their audio. The highs and lows had too much dynamics to the point that I couldn't hear much of it if I didn't want to be blown away by the rest. Overall, a truly emotion and thought provoking film with bad audio. I rate this good. Watch it!
An American documentary directed by Errol Morris.
Robert S. McNamara speaks about his life in business, politics and war.
Let's get this out of the way first: McNamara was in Skull and Bones and the Trilateral Commission, so yes, he is Illuminati and a Freemason. Given the fact that nobody without a full list of secret society memberships could ever be president of the World Bank. I found the subject matter to be very boring because I have no interest in business, economics, politics or war. The interview footage was actually really good. A device called an Interrotron was used so that the interviewee appears to be speaking directly to the viewer, instead of looking at the interviewer or elsewhere. My video professor at school would disagree, but I think it worked fine. She would also criticize the jump cuts in the interview footage. The B-roll was all very professional looking. One type of scene that I liked most was of a busy street recorded twice. The recordings were layered, with one going very fast and the other very slow. An artsy touch. There were also, obviously, stock videos from television used. The audio was all very good because it was mostly just one man speaking in a room. Overall, the interesting video production made a long and dry interview slightly interesting. I rate this poor because I just didn't like it.
An American crime directed by Jonathan Kaplan, starring Harry Northup and Matt Dillon.
Strict parents, rebellious teenagers and an asshole cop combine to cause a volatile situation in a small town.
This is a classic that I watched before starting this blog and just re-watched. The plot follows the main character as he has fun with his friends, gets a girlfriend and gets in fights with his parents and the cop. It obviously held my interest the whole time. The characters are typical of a '70s or '80s teen "coming of age" film. The video was actually very good for the time it was made. Good camera angles and punctual editing helped this. The audio was a little quiet, but the dialogue and music were mixed well. This music, of course, includes some of the best and most energetic of '70s rock like The Ramones and Van Halen. Overall, another one of those "freedom vs authority" films that I like so much. I rate this awesome. Watch it!!!
