An American science fiction directed by James Cameron, starring Zoe Saldana, Stephen Lang and Sigourney Weaver.
A group of soldiers and scientists from Earth go to another planet, seeking unobtainium (not joking). The indigenous people live directly on top of the mineral deposit, so the humans use fake alien bodies to communicate with them and try to get them to move. One soldier is accepted into their society, goes native and has to save them.
Fern Gully 3! Joking aside for a moment, this is amazingly beautiful and entertaining. I really like it. The plot of a 1992 animated musical with Robin Williams and Tim Curry apparently goes a long way. I didn't even know there was Fern Gully 2 until a moment ago. It's the same deal: foreigner goes native and saves his new group. The name of the mineral makes me laugh every time. I really don't feel the need to write lots about such a well known film. I do, however, rate it best. Watch it! I don't care if you've seen it. Watch it again.
An American animated musical comedy by Rob Zombie, starring Paul Giamatti and Rosario Dawson.
A luchador wrestler witnesses a beautiful woman being abducted by a gorilla. While tracking them down, he calls in the aid of his female co-worker and her robot.
This is pretty goofy for Rob Zombie, but I understand how it makes sense. The fictional world of the film is populated by characters from fantasy and horror settings as well as shapely women. The plot was very cartoony and the characters were a little shallow. Actually, the villain was most developed of all of them. There was plenty of nudity and profanity. The animation style reminded me of old Ren & Stimpy cartoons in the way that movements were exaggerated. I could hear all of the dialogue and there were good subtitles. The music sounded like maybe there was some Brad Neely influence, but he did not make it. I think this makes a great contrast to the dark and bloody bulk of my Rob Zombie film collection. I rate it adequate. You might want to check it out.
An American slasher horror by Rob Zombie, starring Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Brad Dourif, Danielle Harris and Scout Taylor-Compton.
The continued story from the 2007 film. Michael's younger sister (who supposedly killed him in the first one) is having mental issues. Michael is alive and back in town as well.
This was very much like the 2007 film, but not as good because it lacked the back-story section, which was the only part I liked from that. The plot mostly made sense, but it lacked the character development of its predecessor. Really, I found it boring and predictable. I saw every kill coming from minutes away. The video was not as good either. There were some dream/hallucination scenes which looked good, but some of it was cut so quickly that it was almost coruscating. I didn't get the thing with the white horse, except that Death rides a white horse. It must really be that simple because the rest of the movie was. The soundtrack featured an extremely wide range of music, but some of the sound effects were really annoying. There was also lots of shouting and crying in the dialogue. How many times in a row must a character say "fuck!" before the audience gets that they are unhappy? I'm keeping this to complete my Rob Zombie film set (more of that soon), but I wouldn't recommend it unless you HAVE TO watch full sets, regardless of varying quality. I rate it o.k. and it should only be watched right after the 2007 film.
An American comedy drama directed by Burr Steers, starring Leslie Mann, Thomas Lennon and Brian Doyle-Murray.
A man regrets his life because he got married in High School and skipped college. His wife is divorcing him and his kids don't like him. A magical janitor makes him 17 years old again, but the rest of the world stays the same.
I thought 16 Wishes (2010) was bad, this is worse. The writing seemed like someone was having serious mental problems to think this was ok. Jason Filardi (writer) has not been involved in very many films. The only other things I've seen were when he acted in The Craft (1996) and Ricky 6 (2000) as an extra. I must assume that he has a developmental disability (A.K.A. he's a retard). The plot was a bad idea to begin with and stayed terrible throughout the duration. The shallow characters did not develop. Some of them changed slightly and the protagonist had his cookie cutter awakening, but I would not classify that as a dynamic character. This type of film just feels so contrived and forced that I can't see how 1: the filmmakers think it will work while creating it or 2: anyone can enjoy watching it. The video was mostly bright and saturated, but the audio surprised me with lots of audible dialogue. That and the Brian Doyle-Murray cameo (image) were the only good things about it. I rate this shit because you would have to be retarded to like it. DO NOT WATCH!
An American horror thriller directed by Morgan J. Freeman, starring Mischa Barton.
A football star returns to his hometown from college with a new girlfriend. The old girlfriend had to stay there and wants him back at the cost of the new girl.
Really cheesy and stereotypical. Otherwise, I'm stumped. I can't think of anything that was really bad about this, but there was definitely nothing good. Predictable. It was on a list of the "worst films ever", but was too mediocre to be there. I rate it tolerable. There are so many better films around, watch them instead.
An American comedy directed by Walt Becker, starring Robin Williams, John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Seth Green and Matt Dillon, produced and distributed by Disney.
A man went on vacation with his friend 7 years ago and got married and divorced while there. Now, the mother of his children is going to jail and needs him to take care of them.
The date, the company and the plot combined to make this unwatchable. I turned it off at 29:19 of 1:28:10. Hearing the Disney music and seeing the castle was a mark of quality in like 1975, but time has made it a warning sign of impending doom. I like Robin Williams and John Travolta just fine, but everything else in the film negated any pleasure I would have gained from watching those actors. When they have to care for unruly children in 2009, "them's the brakes". I rate this shit in accordance with my turnoff policy. DO NOT WATCH!
An American comedy directed by Karey Kirkpatrick, starring Eddie Murphy, Thomas Haden Church, Ronny Cox and Martin Sheen.
A stockbroker is too busy at work to spend time with his daughter and a co-worker is luring away his clients. When the daughter draws on her father's paperwork and the co-worker steals another group of clients, the stockbroker has a breakdown. He shows the child's drawings to the clients and interprets them into stock advice. It turns out that the advice was correct.
This was a mediocre, mainstream film that was not even that great. Not only that, but the video quality of the copy I watched was terrible. It looked like it had been made by pointing a camera at a television. Why I'm writing about it is because I had just finished reading David Icke's first book, Truth Vibrations (1991) in which he wrote about conversations with mediums and spirit channeling. The daughter in this film uses her "goo-gaa" or security blanket to contact imaginary friends who always provide correct stock tips. At one point, a female co-worker articulates it so accurately as a "securities blanket". The client-stealing co-worker even goes as far as to purchase an expensive and mystical blanket for his son, feed him energy drinks and use him for divination. What I would have really liked was a scene in which Eddie Murphy is depicted in his daughter's fantasy world. I rate this film adequate because some parts were funny and it matched what I was reading, but was otherwise mediocre and the video quality was bad.
An Argentine Spanish crime mystery directed by Juan Jose Campanella, starring Ricardo Darin and Guillermo Francella.
A retired detective is writing a book about a murder case that he was assigned to. He meets with a female co-worker and the victim's husband to discuss his book.
This reminded me of All the President's Men (1976). The 2 hour duration really felt that way because the pacing was generally slow. The plot skipped backwards and forwards in time. It showed the old, retired detective writing his book as well as the original investigation. The limited number of characters worked well, but they were all mean to each other all the time. The acting was done very serious and poker faced. I got a version with really bad subtitles and my rudimentary Spanish skills came in handy to decode what was going on. The sets and costumes were very boring. I liked the gigantic police building set the most. In camera-work, there was a follow shot at the soccer game and a shot in which the camera circled around the main character's desk that I liked quite a bit. The whole thing had that classic police detective vibe going on. Other critics give this around a B+ grade, but I don't agree. I think it was too slow and boring. I rate this o.k.
A South Korean wuxia directed by Choi Dong-hoon.
A Taoist disciple and his companion are trying to help the 3 Taoist wizards to capture goblins that have been set loose by a magic flute. Their journey takes them from ancient China into the modern city of Seoul.
Way over the top! The two hour duration was greatly appreciated, as it was filled with content all the way through. The pacing was very fast. From dialogue to special effects to editing cuts, everything moved quickly. The massive plot was clear and pretty easy to follow after the first few minutes of chaos. There were a handful of main characters that transcended time and a few well chosen extras. I can't really get into discussion of dialogue because it was in Korean, but there were a few verbal jokes that made it across the language gap and through subtitles. There were tons of physical humor jokes that the actors pulled off perfectly. The sets and costumes were amazing. Ancient China looked just as good as modern Korea and everyone's clothing fit their parts. There were even magical costume changes in the plot that all looked good. I saw loads of good camera-work. The dark scenes were not underexposed and I even identified a jib arm shot on top of a building. Special effects blew away Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle. People flew and disappeared and there were CG goblins. Magic was everywhere. The audio sounded good to me. Again, I can't say much about dialogue, but the music and sound effects were great. The whole thing was so cohesive and had a style like Ang Lee was working with Stephen Chow. This has a 6.7/10 on IMDB, but was good enough to spawn a TV series. I liked the humor, special effects and action. I rate it good. You should watch it if you want Kung Fu Hustle and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon at the same time.
A British science fiction directed by Duncan Jones, starring Sam Rockwell and Kevin Spacey.
A man working on a lunar base finds out that he is a clone. The previous version crashed a vehicle and the new one finds the old one and takes him back to the base. Together, they form a plan to get one of them back to Earth and restore communications that had been blocked.
Pretty cool. The plot was interesting and held my attention. I've always wanted another me or even a few more. The world would not be the same if that happened. The characters were the copies of Sam and his robot, GERTY. I initially thought we were going into a HAL9000 scenario, but the robot turned out to be good. The video was done very well. I think that the lunar base set was very convincing because it was a complete set. The outside sequences with rovers were done with models, not CG. The audio was mostly good. There were a few bits of dialogue that were mixed low, especially on video playbacks that Sam watched. Overall, I think that the filmmakers got the '70s and '80s feel that they were going for. I rate this awesome. Even though I spoiled so much of it, watch it anyway! Tom Cullen would agree.
An Australian animated drama directed by Adam Elliot, starring Toni Collette and Philip Seymour Hoffman.
An Australian girl becomes pen pals with a mentally ill man in New York City. They tell each other about the problems in their lives.
This was animated very well and looked really cool. The plot was very sad and tragic, but that seemed to be the goal. The characters were developed marvelously well because of them narrating the letters in which they describe their lives in detail. The stop motion claymation style was awesome because of the limited, almost black and white color palette. The audio was mostly dialogue and the music was mixed low to bring out the voices of the characters. Overall, it seemed to be planned and executed in a very exact manner. I rate this awesome. Watch it!!!
A British drama directed by Andrea Arnold, starring Michael Fassbender and Kierston Wareing.
A rebellious teenager wants to become a dancer. She drinks and dances in an empty flat after trying to free a horse. Her mother is dating a married man who becomes mutually attracted to the daughter. The young man who owns the horse begins a relationship with the main character as well.
Oh, man. Brits are crazy. The plot seemed like it was going nowhere most of the time, but had some hidden meaning that could probably only be understood fully by people in England. The characters all treated each other so badly, but were also very close. The exchange between the sisters at the end demonstrated this best: they hug and say "I hate you" to one another. I saw the sex scene coming a mile away, but won't ruin it. There was also a classic scene when the main character is in her mom's (and her) boyfriend's house. Lots of the video was shot handheld, but I think it kind of worked. The audio featured terrible music and close-mic breathing. I'm not calling the Brits wankers or anything, but their ideas are nearly incoherent to my Americanism. I was reminded of the works of Mike Leigh. Overall, a strange flick. I rate this adequate. You might want to watch it.
An American documentary directed by Michael Stephenson.
Years after the original release of Troll 2, the film has found a cult following who poke fun at it. The original cast and crew reunite and travel to some film conventions together.
This made me want to watch Troll 2. I don't remember it being all that funny, but I watched it before I even started this blog, so quite a few years ago. George Hardy, the husband/father from Troll 2 should be considered the star of this documentary. This may be because he was the most outgoing extrovert involved and lacked the prerequisite shame that others felt over the original film. He was shown in his dental office, telling patients to go to screenings. Other interviewees commented that they would hate to be in the dental chair at that point because it was so obvious that dentistry was not his top priority. The director, Claudio Fragasso was initially surprised by the amount of people in the audience at screenings. He later learned that they were making fun of his film and his attitude changed accordingly. Margo Prey, the wife/mother of the original exhibited the most shame concerning Troll 2. I won't spoil the priceless scene though. Overall, a documentary for folks who like bad movies. Hard-core flophouse flick fans will recognize Plan 9 from Outer Space and Santa Clause Conquers the Martians when they are stated to be better films. I rate this good.
A Mexican Argentinian crime animation directed by Gustavo Cova.
A violent man who used to be a soldier works for a mafia boss as a hit man. A woman who used to be in a relationship with the boss witnessed a crime and is supposed to testify in court. There is conflict over this witness and a new hit man is hired to fight the original one.
This reminded me of Sin City (2005). I think some of the scenes were direct copies of visual elements from that film. The plot was a little too convoluted for an animation. Who was on whose side and who is working for the mafia boss got confusing. The characters were obviously similar to Sin City, especially Boogie himself. The animation style reminded me of City of Rott (2006) in that it was very computerized and high contrast. There was a psychedelic dream sequence in which a Disney style setting became violent and was labelled "war land". The audio was very good for a film not originally in English. The voices fit and there was appropriate soundtrack music mixed at a correct level. Overall, a very well-made and enjoyable animated film, even if it was not entirely original. I rate this awesome. Watch it!
A British American action film directed by Guy Ritchie, starring Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Mark Strong and Eddie Marsan.
Holmes and Watson are against Lord Henry Blackwood, who is trying to make a grab for political power by devious means.
This was terrible. The plot got lost in special effects and "faster than the speed of light" editing cuts. The characters were played alright, but this didn't amount to much with all of the obvious flaws present. Again, we see Holmes portrayed as a warrior/fighter instead of a detective. I think most of the video was done in Adobe After Effects and with other CG editing software. Most of the time, I could tell the characters had been recorded in a green room and placed upon digital environments. The sets were just too big to be real and items of immense size flew through the air in choreographed motions. The audio was also horrid. It featured terrible music (not quite as bad as the chap hop in Game of Shadows though) and whispered dialogue that was inaudible. Overall, I wish I had turned it off and want those two hours of my life back. Please refer to my post about Game of Shadows (2011) for more trash talk. I rate this shit. DO NOT WATCH!!!
An American horror directed by Karyn Kusama.
After a fire at a local bar, a rock band try to sacrifice a girl to Satan. Unfortunately for them, she turned out to not be a virgin and gained supernatural powers instead of dying. Her friend is the first to realize what has happened and tries to warn her boyfriend. The girl with powers begins killing boys at the school and the conflict reaches a climax at the school dance.
This was made very well in the video aspect. The plot was pretty standard for American horror. The characters were acted quite well and showed some depth and dynamics. I looked up a few of the slang terms that the students used and their dialogue is spot-on and convincing. Very well-written. The audio featured mostly alternative rock, which was on time with the video in the sense of pacing, but bad music in general. Now the video. This was planned by an expert and the camera-work was amazing. The after effects modification of the puke in Needy's kitchen was the first high point. Jennifer's swimming scene in slow motion was a masterpiece. The shot of Jennifer, all hungry and falling apart, looking in the mirror with a picture of her pre-possession right next to it was very powerful. Overall, watch this for the video. I rate it good.
An American drama directed by Ang Lee.
A young small-town politician invites the woodstock crew to hold their event in his town. He boards the crew at his parents' motel and wanders around during the concert.
This was pretty desultory. The plot seemed to follow the outline of the actual event and the characters were secondary to that. The main character and his parents were slightly developed. The video style mirrored the 1970 documentary film, Woodstock. It featured split screens of different scenes taking place at the same time. There was some compositing/special effects, but I don't want to spoil that part. The pacing was moderate to relatively quick and there was nudity. Overall, nothing to get excited about, but not bad. I rate it o.k.
A German American drama directed by Werner Herzog, starring Willem Dafoe, Michael Shannon, Chloe Sevigny and Udo Kier.
A mentally disturbed man has just murdered his mother and the police have surrounded his house. His fiancee and the director of the play that he was in arrive and tell the back-story of how this happened.
This was pretty good. The characters were acted very well and the non-linear plot worked. I liked the main character and his crazy uncle the most. The camera-work and editing were fantastic. My favorite shot was the basketball in the tree, closely followed by prescription glasses with a light. There was a compositing shot in the park where the main character and fiancee are in real time while the background goes slow motion. I was impressed with how strange this was. Overall, nice work. I rate it good.
An American crime drama directed by Werner Herzog, starring Nicolas Cage, Jennifer Coolidge, Val Kilmer, Brad Dourif and Fairuza Balk.
A crooked cop is into gambling, prostitution and drugs.
This was alright I guess. The main character was played well. Nicolas Cage gave a great performance by acting like he's on drugs all the time and screwing over everyone he meets. It seems that he plays negative characters best. The plot was all over the place and things didn't really seem connected. The technical aspects were decent. What impressed me most was a shot of an iguana (picture). The iguana scene was overly long and edited in a psychedelic manner, with lots of similar camera angles. Overall, crooked cop is crooked. I rate this poor for being so disjointed.
A South Korean crime drama directed by Bong Joon-ho.
An old woman's son is accused of murder and imprisoned. She does her own detective work to prove his innocence.
This was really strange in that way that only Asian cinema can be. The plot barely held my attention and I think the characters were a tad stereotypical. The technical aspects were fine and everything made sense. There were some moments that really stood out to me. The mother hiding in her son's friend's closet while he has sex with his girlfriend was one. Another was the mother's meeting with the junk collector toward the end. These moments were the strange ones that caught my attention. Oh, and in the beginning, the mother feeds her son while he pees on a wall while waiting for the bus. Overall, not a great movie, but it had it's odd moments. I rate this o.k.
