One Hour Photo (2002)

An American drama thriller directed by Mark Romanek, starring Robin Williams, Connie Nielsen and Gary Cole.

The man who prints photos at a super store takes too much interest in a family.

To start with, I didn't think this plot was believable. The characters were shallow, except for Robin Williams and he was way out of character. Casting Mork as a lonely stalker is just absurd. The version that I watched was pixelated to the point of looking psychedelic, but it's not worth reviewing the quality of a digital file at this point. The camera-work and editing seemed too "new Hollywood" to me, but that was just a mark of the time. Besides the bad plot, there is nothing to write about thismovie. I rate it poor. You probably should not watch it.

On the Comet A.K.A. Na kometě (1970)

A Czech science fiction directed by Karel Zeman.
A cartographer in the French military is surveying northern Africa when he falls into the sea. A comet passes, carrying away Arabians, French and Spaniards with it. The cartographer meets a beautiful woman and they fall in love as chaos unfolds around them.
So unique! Illustrations from the Jules Verne novel were mixed with live action and animation. There were stop motion dinosaurs, illustrated backdrops and live action sections, sometimes with compositing into the illustrations or illustrations composited into live action. The plot and characters were not all that great, but it was so visually weird that this didn't matter much. Most of the special effects looked like 1920s style because the video was mostly in tinted black and white. If you're looking for something really strange to watch and don't mind reading subtitles, this is a good one. I rate it awesome.

The Bridge (2006)

A British American documentary by Eric Steel.
The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco California is a popular suicide destination. Interviews are interspersed with footage of the bridge and jumps.
So slow! If this were a book, it would have half a sentence per page and tons of blank pages between sentences. It seems like Eric there wanted to stretch a 10 minute mini-doc into a feature length film. The interviews weren't all that great, just relatives complaining about their non-conformist child/cousin/sibling/friend who jumped. Then the climax came at the end. The guy with long dark hair who was pacing the bridge through the whole duration executed a remarkable jump. That was the best part. Otherwise, it was painful to watch because of so much B-roll and dead air. I rate this bad because it wasn't bad enough to turn off. You would really be better off watching something that makes better use of time.

On th Road A.K.A. Sur la route (2012)

A French British Brazilian Canadian American drama directed by Walter Salles, starring Kristen Stewart, Amy Adams, Elisabeth Moss, Kirsten Dunst and Viggo Mortensen.
An aspiring writer has an interesting friend. They wander around popping bennies, drinking liquor, sharing sexual encounters with women, speeding when they drive and hitchhiking.
The premise sounds good, right? At least interesting. Unfortunately, it didn't go anywhere from there. That was it. Most of it looked good. There were a few too many handheld shots for my taste (hand holding is for romance, not movies). The characters were relatively good. Much more memorable than those from 1980s Chinese kung fu flicks. There was a really good musical performance at 1:40:32. The jazz vocalist onstage is either speaking a foreign language or using nonsense words. That's really all I have to say about this. I rate it o.k. because the subject matter was good, but the plot was seriously lacking.

Old Dogs (2009)

An American comedy directed by Walt Becker, starring Robin Williams, John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Seth Green and Matt Dillon, produced and distributed by Disney.
A man went on vacation with his friend 7 years ago and got married and divorced while there. Now, the mother of his children is going to jail and needs him to take care of them.
The date, the company and the plot combined to make this unwatchable. I turned it off at 29:19 of 1:28:10. Hearing the Disney music and seeing the castle was a mark of quality in like 1975, but time has made it a warning sign of impending doom. I like Robin Williams and John Travolta just fine, but everything else in the film negated any pleasure I would have gained from watching those actors. When they have to care for unruly children in 2009, "them's the brakes". I rate this shit in accordance with my turnoff policy. DO NOT WATCH!

Oh! Heavenly Dog (1980)

An American mystery comedy directed by Joe Camp, starring Chevy Chase, Benji, Jane Seymour, Omar Sharif and Robert Morley.
A detective is hired to protect a woman, but finds her dead. He is killed shortly thereafter and comes back as a dog to solve the murder.
This is why folks are prejudiced against films featuring animals with celebrity voices. It was incredibly trite and vapid. Total trash. Not that it wasn't slightly pleasant to watch, but pleasant trash is still trash. The plot failed to hold my interest and there were unnecessary characters. The video looked alright. It was shot and edited decently. Animals with celebrity voices is for kids, but murder mysteries are for adults. Who was the target audience here? I'm rating this bad because I wish I hadn't watched it.

Oblivion (1994)

An American science fiction western directed by Sam Irvin, starring Andrew Divoff, Julie Newmar, Isaac Hayes and Meg Foster.
An alien criminal is trying to take over a town after he kills the sheriff. The sheriff's son has been prospecting gold and meets a Native American. He saves this man's life and they are told by the undertaker of the town what has happened. The son returns with his new friend, frees the cyborg deputy and fights the criminal.
Notice the images. These little monsters were the best part of the film. On anyone else's blog, you would expect an image of the giant "nightscorp", but not here. The plot was trite, but the characters were likeable. It was all very Full Moon. The sequel, Backlash (1996) is much more difficult to find. I decided to watch the first one and get the sequel if I liked it enough. I don't think that would be worthwhile. I rate this o.k. because it's just another cheesy Full Moon science fiction and there are plenty more of those to watch.